Dad Lives In Ireland - SHould I be paying for flights for my child to see him?

[Mommy273]

Hello, just need advice on what I should do.

My child is 3, 4 in Jan. His dad has lived in Ireland since he was 1 and a bit. He sees him a few times a year but every time he takes him over to see his family I have to pay for return flights and they can be expensive ! This time I really cant afford to... I've booked a holiday for his birthday so that's my priority but his dad is saying that seeing him is more important

He also told me that it's the law that I should go and return him back, is this true?

What should I do? I don't think it's fair for my son to miss out on going on holiday for his birthday.

Thanks x

OP is he claiming child benefit in Ireland, if not he's entitled to claim it even if his child is living abroad and it's much higher than in the UK €140pm per child.

So it's the law you have to pay for flights but not the law he has to pay to feed, close, house his child?? Tell him to do one and come back to you when he pays fair maintenance regularly, fucking chancer
110%

you should be helping cover costs....relationship with his father is more important than some holiday he won't remember

yeah, OP, relationship with a langer dan father who doesn't even pay regular maintenance is way more important than you having a nice time with your son - you should be spending your money on ensuring your dismal ex has nice times with his son and you can just suck it up and stay home .... NOT

I’m shocked at the amount of folk saying you should pay! No way should you be, if he wants to see his son and travel back to Ireland with him, that’s his choice! Sounds like he doesn’t pay enough CM either or give u much notice as to when he wants him.
Enjoy your holiday to Disney! Your son will love it :) xx

Honeyrider, you can not claim child benefit in ireland unless the child resides with you. Op I don't think you should be paying for flights. If he wants to see his child he should be making the arrangements. If he isn't paying you regular maintenance you can take him to court and get maintenance paid via a court order from the Irish courts to you. Family court meets once a month and you can make the application yourself.

Piss offff! He should pay, he wants to see his son. He has to pay and make the arrangements! It's not the law at all

You really, really should talk to a solicitor.

You need an agreement about frequency/dates of contact. For him to announce with little warning that he will see DS on such and such a date is not on, and not practical in the long run as DS will have school, sports and a social life, and you have (1) a life too, and can't be waiting for word from His Lordship about every upcoming weekend, (2) limited financial resources and you can't just plonk down money on expensive airline tickets whenever he whistles.

Technically you moved away, but actually you moved back to where you both had started from. So maybe he is really the one currently 'away'...

Either way, there is no law saying you have to pay. Absolutely none. He is conning you.

Find either British solicitors who have a Dublin office, or Dublin solicitors who have a London (or Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham, etc) office, for maximum expertise in this sort of issue.

Talk to them about enforceable maintenance, and about a visitation schedule that makes allowance for the DS to have a life. And who should bear the cost.

I'm not sure about Ireland, but the EU/Brexit doesn't necessarily come into it.
I went through the Australian CSA for maintenance and got it.

Have you got an kind of LEGAL arrangement, have you been to court regarding custody etc.

What nationality passports do you all have?

Another kid destined to be 'pay per view'

Poor child

OP I don't know the law but your baby's dad sounds like a selfish person. I wouldn't stress if he sees less of his son than you can afford to provide.

I hope you have a brilliant holiday.

Nope you shouldn't be paying for him to see his child. Don't pay for any more flights, tell him to make his own arrangements

OP and family lived in England first though. Then moved to Ireland which didn't work out so moved back.

That doesn't matter. That's why anyone who has a remotely rocky marriage is strongly advised against moving. Ireland was the child's residence and was then moved.

The sister of DH's best friend is stuck in Australia in a similar scenario.

There is a difference between the UK and Ireland (as opposed to the UK and Oz) as they are both in the UK-Ireland Common Travel Area and both in the EU (obv that will change). UK-Australia child custody and visitation and residence issues are governed by the Hague Convention.

europa.eu/youreurope/citizens/family/children/parental-responsibility/index_en.htm
Going to court over custody and visiting rights:

If you cannot reach agreement on custody or visiting rights, you will probably go to a court.

In situations involving more than one country, for example if the parents do not live in the same country, the courts responsible for handling cases of parental responsibility are those in the country where the child usually lives.

If you expressly agree with your spouse, the court ruling on your divorce can also rule on parental responsibility matters connected to your divorce.

The court will decide in the best interests of the child on your custody rights, visiting arrangements and determine the child's place of residence.

Recognition and enforcement:

Court decisions on parental responsibility made in an EU country are recognised in all EU countries without the necessity for any additional procedure.

Their enforcement is facilitated by a standard procedure.

eur-lex.europa.eu/legal-content/EN/TXT/?uri=LEGISSUM:l33194
The EU legal context explained here.
Matrimonial and parental judgments: jurisdiction, recognition and enforcement (Brussels IIa)

As a general rule, this regulation replaces existing conventions on the same matters involving 2 or more EU countries. In relations between EU countries, it takes precedence over certain multilateral conventions:

1961 Hague Convention (law applicable to protection of minors)
1967 Luxembourg Convention (recognition of decisions on marriage);
1970 Hague Convention (recognition of divorces)
1980 European Convention (custody of children)
1980 Hague Convention (civil aspects of international child abduction).
With regard to the Hague Convention of 19 October 1996 on parental responsibility and measures for the protection of children, the regulation is fully applicable if the child normally lives in an EU country.

@Mommy273, you absolutely must see a solicitor and get an arrangement in place, preferably before Brexit happens (I believe the date is March 29th 2019).

Pick up the phone ASAP and get this done.