Dog owners and their "friendly" pets

[felicityy]

To start with I actually love dogs, their owners not so much at times.

My DS is 6 and has a real fear of uncontrollable (as in unrestrained, excitable etc) dogs. He was bitten quite badly by a friend of the family pet at 4 and was also knocked over by a dog in a park just a few months after the bite so he is very anxious.

When we pass dogs either on leads or chasing a ball he is absolutely fine and we have been building him up slowly with his contact with dogs as I know they are unavoidable and as a dog lover myself I don't want him to go through life fearful.

We went into a DIY shop yesterday and while we were looking at paint a dog comes out of nowhere, with a lead on but no one holding him. He came bounding up to DS and jumped up, DS got very upset and I quickly grabbed the dog by the lead. Shortly after an older woman walks round the corner and says he is hers but don't worry as he is "friendly". I wouldn't let my toddler run around a shop bothering people so don't understand these dog owners that assume everyone else will love their dogs and want contact with them.

She continued to let the dog wander off whilst she looked at paint and DS was quite upset by the incident which has now put him back in the progress he has made as he didn't invite this contact and it was totally unexpected. As she called the dog to another aisle (still without taking the lead) she mumbled under her breath about the
"silly boy", which thankfully DS didn't hear.

Surely if you take your dog into a public space you keep control of them? Particularly if they are likely to jump up as however friendly they are not everyone would welcome this.

YANBU. I use a sharp tone and say, "No, it is not okay, please recall your dog" if I feel uncomfortable. I usually feel fine, but not with bigger dogs or dogs where the owners don't look responsible.

be prepared to be flamed and told it's your responsibility to teach your child not to be afraid of dogs.

Some people have no idea on dog etiquette. I would never allow my 2 dogs to jump up at or go over to anyone unless invited to or asked to, just like if i saw another dog on lead whilst mine was off i would recall and put mine on a lead till other dog had passed. It dosent matter how friendly your dog is if someone is frightened of your dog they are frightened, end off......

Ifailed this is what I am trying to do, but it is not an overnight process and much harder to do when unexpected dogs randomly jump on him as he is just standing in a department store, as I say we have reached a level where he is comfortable in the company of a dog now, will happily pass a dog on a lead without anxiety (which was how he first was), and will stroke a calm dog that he "invites", the process of removing a fear is best done by gradually increasing exposure and creating positive experiences.

Dog owners have a responsibility to keep their dogs under control if unruly the same as anything else. There also could be someone deathly allergic to animals or a million other reasons why they don't want a dog to come around a corner and jump up.

I have two dogs both always on leads as they’re recall is shocking. However even on the lead when we walk past people they become really really giddy and want to jump up and be fussed but I would never let them. If someone approaches them and asks if they can fuss them I say yes but say they’re really giddy and will try to jump up so I crouch down and hold their harness.
I think it’s responsible of me as a dog owner. They might be very friendly but no dog should ever be trusted 100% and I wouldn’t be taking that risk!

Dogs must be under control in public.
I have a dog. My aim is not to have her be “friendly” but rather good mannered. She generally avoids people she doesn’t know.
A dog bounding up at you isn’t friendly. It’s rude and out of control.
Yes work on the fear. But this situation was the fault of the dog owner.

This annoys me SO much. I have a friendly dog, but she's very large (golden retriever) and does have a tendency to jump, so I always recall her when I see small children or other people, so if people want to say hello to her they can, not the other way round!

We were dog walking the other day and my smallest DS got jumped on by a German pointer who pushed him over into the mud, and the owner laughed, said "What can you do?" and made to move off. I was so staggered by her arrogance that I stood there like a goldfish. Luckily, my parents who were with me told her that what she shoudl do is apologise to my son and have better control of her dog. Neither of which she did/will do I'm sure!

OP I have a very similar situation with my 6 year old. She was aware of a family member being attacked by a dog and was badly scared after being knocked down by a “friendly” dog in the park once. Shortly after I was attacked while out running (no harm but a nip to the ankle) and she is quite scared of dogs now.

The amount of times she has been called silly by stupid dog owners for “over reacting” to their “friendly” dogs bouncing up and down in her personal space.

It drives me mad. I was brought up with dogs, most my family have dogs yet I’m starting to really dislike them due to bad owners who don’t keep their animals under control in public spaces. If your dog is going to rush up to people please keep it on a lead in busy public spaces such as parks.

My dog is friendly, but I’m paranoid about keeping him away from people in case they don’t like dogs. He’s only 2kg, though, so mostly we get people who are desperate to meet him. He’s also very good with children and there have been a couple of kids (including one of my nieces) who aren’t keen on dogs but who have come away smiling because they’ve managed to pat a very non-threatening one after observing him for a bit. I would absolutely not let him wander on his own in a shop, so YADNBU.

We have a dog who is quite young, very friendly but very excitable. DDog sees all children as treat dispensers so will automatically want to play (my fault as I think I pushed too hard to ensure DDog didn’t resent our kids and ended up going to far in the other direction)

That being said, no matter how “friendly” my dog is, I would never allow them to wander around off the lead in public and whe DDog is off the lead, if a person/child, another dog arrives then straight back on the lead they go.
I think it’s all well and good to say the dog is friendly, but what if child doesn’t know how to treat dog, pulls dogs tail etc, dog snaps (as all dogs have the potential to do). You have the risk of a poor child being scarred for life or worse and a dog being put down.

My dog, my responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen. YANBU at all

YADNBU. Whenever there’s a dog attack it’s always friendly or a lovely family pet until it turns for no reason. The reason is the dog owner equivalent of permissive parenting.

As the owner of two dogs, one of whom will ignore you and the other who thinks every human is there for her entertainment, YANBU.
I keep both on a lead unless in a suitable space where I can see that there's no one about. Unfortunately I live in a place where no one else seems to own a lead, and although friendly with people, second dog is not with unknown dogs.
My response to 'it's ok he's friendly' is 'mine isn't, which is why she's on a lead, she WILL react defensively' I'm not going to muzzle her because then she can't defend herself against other dogs that are allowed to approach her despite my warning.
I keep them out of the way unless approached and asked if someone can fuss them. Then I agree but warn second dog will be excited to meet you!
I love my dogs, but accept not everyone does and although my dog thinks everyone loves her, it's my responsibility to keep her under control.
I often have unknown dogs running up to me, even without my dogs and although I'm not frightened, I don't particularly want mucky paw prints all over me!
The key thing about a lead is that it only works if you hold the other bloody end. Stupid woman.

“A dog bounding up at you isn’t friendly. It’s rude and out of control.”

This. My dog is really polite and quite shy, he never approaches people and will quite often avoid them if he doesn’t like the look of them. And some people say ‘oh he’s not very friendly is he?’

He.is.polite. and knows his own limits. Give me that over a slobbering mess of a dog any day.

YANBU!
I have two dogs, one who is extremely nervous of dogs he has never met, he is having training but it's an on going thing. The amount of people that just let their dogs bound over to him and get in his face then tell me, "Oh it's okay, he/She is friendly." It sets back his training each and every time. He needs to be meeting and seeing dogs on his walks to build his tolerance up, but so many dog owners just don't respect other walkers and their dogs. It makes my piss boil. I don't care how friendly your dog is. Get it out of my poor dogs face.

Children are small and even a friendly, playful dog could end up hurting a child if it jumps up. People should keep their dogs on a lead if it's prone to do that. YANBU. Even if your son was not afraid, it still wouldn't have been okay. That lady is a selfish jerk for just letting her dog run around a store.

Can I just clarify, people saying dog shouldn't be off the lead in 'public' etc. I assume you are referring to this instance where 'public' is a shop? Or are you including parks/forests etc.? If so my dog is ALWAYS off his lead in the park and will continue to be so. Would never put him on a lead just because a child comes near...

Well the same could be said for giddy children going up to dogs and fussing them without being invited first and no one ever says anything about that.
I have two small very cute dogs and kids actually break away from their caregivers to come over and stroke, pick up & fuss them. I've had a child pick up one of my dogs and try to walk off with it whilst it was on the lead which was in my hand.

Caregivers need to teach their wards to not approach dogs unless invited and dog owners need to do the same!

@MakeaHouseaHome

That depends I think if your dog is going to just continue with his walk or run up to people uninvited. No problem with a dog off the lead that just runs past but it's out of order if it runs up slobbering all over every person it sees - which one of mine does and why if I see someone in a park/forest I'll put her back on.

@Notjustanyone

Yes, this is an issue for me too, but more so with my horse than dogs, children allowed to run shouting 'horsey!' at half a ton of animal by parents with an indulgent smile, and take a huff when my horse goes 'screw that' and decides to swerve them.

Henryismyfriend my dog just meanders past or may look up but he is perfectly entitled to do that. No different to kids that come up to dogs who may not want them to - don't see anyone saying kids should be put on leads.

Totally agree with you on the horse front! Like piss off no you cannot come pat him while he is jumping all over the place.

@MakeaHouseaHome

Yes there are double standards at play sometimes, but tbh I think anyone who allows a dog to charge up to someone uninvited is a twat, as much of a twat as a caregiver who allows a child to charge up to an animal uninvited and unchecked. I'm not happy in either situation, and the excuses of 'he's friendly' or 'she just wants a stroke' are not acceptable imo, my philosophy is if you're responsible for it, control it.
Nothing wrong with your dog wandering along off lead not bothering anyone in spaces like you describe.
Unfortunately the OP has had two encounters with dogs that aren't under control, which has scared the child, I don't think that's acceptable any more than as a pp described a child trying to pick up and walk off with a dog on a lead! Or little Felicity running headlong into my horses path wanting a stroke while I've got cars sitting up my arse waiting for me to move out the way - but that's another thread!

My DD is exactly the same scared of bouncy dogs. But then one time a unleaded dog ran up jumped on her and knocked her down so now we have to cross the street if we any dog. I hate it

YANBU, even if it’s the loveliest dog in the world (and I adore dogs).

We went out for lunch yesterday, and the pub was full of dogs as it’s on a popular dog walking route. There was a staffie next to the bar who jumped up at us before anyone could do anything and put muddy paw prints on my jeans. I didn’t care (in fact, I was secretly delighted at the dog love!), but the owner was mortified and must have apologised 50 times, saying she was a rescue dog and it was the one thing they couldn’t break her of doing.

That’s a decent dog owner. The one you encountered was not.

Yanbu OP. Dog owners like that wind me up. I have a very friendly, calm and lovely dog that is very well behaved but I wouldn't let him wander around a store like that, when out and about I am always aware of young children and will put him on the lead if I see some, not because he would do anything wrong but because I know some children don't like dogs!

I tend to walk him in places where he can be off lead and have a good run but we won't see many people and if we do he goes back on the lead.

Keep doing what you're doing with your son to build his confidence and hopefully in time his fear will ease.

I have no problem saying to children who run up to my dogs that they should always ask first because they don’t know if a dog is friendly or scared. Many parents don’t like it but it’s tough because they’d be the one asking for my dog to be put down if he snapped out of fear and it wouldn’t be his fault

Well the same could be said for giddy children going up to dogs and fussing them without being invited first and no one ever says anything about that.
This ^^. And plenty of people do let my toddler run around a shop bothering people. I'm happy to put DDog on her lead around people but it would be nice if parents could try controlling their children too when they're out and about. I don't enjoy having to leap out of the way on a pavement because a child is tearing towards me on their bike with no intention of stopping, or having to swerve to avoid children running riot everywhere and almost charging into me. It really does work both ways. If everyone was more considerate to those around them it would be better all round.