Dog owners and their "friendly" pets

[felicityy]

To start with I actually love dogs, their owners not so much at times.

My DS is 6 and has a real fear of uncontrollable (as in unrestrained, excitable etc) dogs. He was bitten quite badly by a friend of the family pet at 4 and was also knocked over by a dog in a park just a few months after the bite so he is very anxious.

When we pass dogs either on leads or chasing a ball he is absolutely fine and we have been building him up slowly with his contact with dogs as I know they are unavoidable and as a dog lover myself I don't want him to go through life fearful.

We went into a DIY shop yesterday and while we were looking at paint a dog comes out of nowhere, with a lead on but no one holding him. He came bounding up to DS and jumped up, DS got very upset and I quickly grabbed the dog by the lead. Shortly after an older woman walks round the corner and says he is hers but don't worry as he is "friendly". I wouldn't let my toddler run around a shop bothering people so don't understand these dog owners that assume everyone else will love their dogs and want contact with them.

She continued to let the dog wander off whilst she looked at paint and DS was quite upset by the incident which has now put him back in the progress he has made as he didn't invite this contact and it was totally unexpected. As she called the dog to another aisle (still without taking the lead) she mumbled under her breath about the
"silly boy", which thankfully DS didn't hear.

Surely if you take your dog into a public space you keep control of them? Particularly if they are likely to jump up as however friendly they are not everyone would welcome this.

I have to go to peoples homes as part of my job and I can't tell you how many times people have let their dogs jump all over me when I have told them I am not comfortable around dogs. It's just fucking rude.

I agree.

Mine is a puppy still and prone to getting excited and jumping - so he's on a short lead in busy places. He's my dog and my responsibility!

But it really bugs me when dog lovers let him jump up all over them - we're trying to teach him to keep his paws on the floor if he wants attention and it doesn't work when other people let him jump up and then cover him in fuss and give him treats!

Another one here who dosent want any of my dogs to be ‘friendly’ in the idiot dog owner sense.
I train all of mine to be focused entirely on me and not what’s going on around them. I have no desire to have them interacting with anyone dog or human unless I request them too. I wish others would do the same

OP yanbu and I would have been less than polite.

OP, YANBU, my daughter was knocked over my a Labrador when she was four years old and fell backwards on concrete. The dog was running around the street while the owner was getting shopping out of their car and wasn't even looking at it, never mind being close enough to get it under control. When I had a go (I was pretty annoyed) I was told to "Fucking chill out!" I was so glad when they moved. Even friendly dogs can do a lot of harm, when they are big and strong.

Yes, some people do let their toddlers run around bothering people, but there are arseholes every where - doesn't make the OP less reasonable.

And I have to admit to being one of those children that used to run up to EVERY dog. My mother had to put me in reins to stop it!

be prepared to be flamed and told it's your responsibility to teach your child not to be afraid of dogs

This. You are totally unreasonable if you don't want to be slobbered over by a smelly dog.

Dogs shouldn't be in shops anyway unless they are guide/hearing dogs.

I agree that people should not let their kids go up to dogs (well any animals) and pet/stroke them without asking the owner first. It does cut both ways.

To clarify, I don't think dogs need to be on a lead 100% of the time, and it's lovely to see them running about at the park or in the fields. The whole concept is being in control of your dog, in the same way as a young child. For example if I take toddler to the park I don't keep her on reins but I do hover nearby as she is still prone to pushing or holding up the slide/running too fast etc.

If your dog is not a jumpy overexcitable type or is well trained to be called back if necessary then that's fine but the owners that just let their dogs run riot and assume everyone loves them just winds me up.

Toddler luckily was in the trolley at the time or the dog likely would have knocked her over had he done what happened to DS and ultimately that could have ended up with DD also having a fear of dogs.

YANBU. I was fortunate to move to a rural area from the city, and the difference in how dogs are expected to behave is amazing.

In the city I'd be jumped up on all the time (I'm a runner).

In my current area that is really unusual...happens maybe once a year at most. Dogs are expected to have good manners, and it don't think it's a coincidence that there are a lot of dog training classes around here.

I feel this way and I 'have' a dog. She has had a difficult background and I get endlessly fed up with owners as the one you described 'oh it's fine he's friendly' that's not the point. It's dismissal of the fear of the other dog
And why was it in the shop in the first place?

That’s wrong to let a dog wander round unaccompanied. I suffer from the opposite issue with my dog she’s great with people she knows and likes running through the park, never troubles anyone but you always get kids running up demanding to stroke her, I once had a girl of about 12 run out of no where and literally launch herself at my puppy smothering her (thankfully I think she was too shocked to do anything), parents sulk when you say no (unless they’re do people - my dog generally likes people with dogs). I really don’t get this, I don’t go running up to people with babies demanding a cuddle cause they’re cute!

adaline I couldnt agree more. Mine is also still a baby at 9 months, but hes built like an absolute tank and has absolutely zero recall because hes a stubborn little git
I always keep him on a short lead and always make him sit before I allow anyone to stroke him. I'm trying to teach him manners and people letting him jump up at them doesn't help!

If your dog is not a jumpy overexcitable type or is well trained to be called back if necessary then that's fine but the owners that just let their dogs run riot and assume everyone loves them just winds me up.

OP I'm a dog owner and a dog lover but agree entirely with this.

We had our dog when she was 12 months. She was an out and out dick - no recall, no obedience, no loyalty, no manners. It's not an excuse to allow them to continue; you train them, you work on them and you manage their behaviour til they're better and able to cope off lead or you just don't let them off lead. It is pig ignorance to exclaim "oh he's just friendly" as your dog lollops all over strangers - there could be a million reasons for the stranger not to want that and the stranger shouldn't have to explain themselves. I hate lazy dog owners. Train them you lazy arse!

As an aside, could you help your DS spend some time with dogs in a more positive way? At DS2's school they have a dog who some of the children read to - it helps so much with confidence reading but I know it's also been used as a tool to help build confidence in a child who was attacked by a family members dog, and helped enormously.

When I was a teenager, I used to babysit for a family that had a huge lurcher/collie cross. It was the loveliest dog, but because they had never taught it to calm down when visitors arrived, it would jump all over me repeatedly, and I'd always be left with massive scratches all down my arms from it! What would annoy me, was that even when I was trying to push it down and stop it, the owners would just stand there laughing at how 'cute' it was.

I’ve had a “friendly” muddy dog jump up at me when carrying a baby in a sling in a NO DOGS AREA and the idiot owner said it was just being friendly.

I’ve seen a dog owner in my local park loudly take the piss out of two five year olds who were avoiding her huge off-lead dog, saying “Oh no! It’s a dog!” sarcastically to the kids. There are many unreasonable dog owners out there. YANBU.

Absolutely you should expect people to keep control of their dogs whether they're 'friendly' or not.

I agree with a PP that a firm rebuke to the owner that they need to keep hold of their dog's lead would have been in order. What on earth were they doing with a dog in a DIY shop anyway? I wouldn't have hesitated in reporting her to a member of staff for having an out of control dog.

Good luck OP. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to help your DS get over his fear of boisterous dogs.

I have 4 dogs. 3 under full control on and off lead. 1 is not so is kept on a short lead.

None of mine are allowed to jump up at people.

I am the owner of a very friendly Labrador and I’m fully aware he is a twat. His recall is great and he’s put on his lead if there is any chance of people been around.

Unfortunately it doesn’t matter how many times I ask people to ignore him to get some time to train his twatness out of him, some idiot —mother— doesn’t get it and the cycle continues and he’s mostly on his lead.

Dogs are allowed in the shop and we saw a few others whilst in there(it's large) but all the others were tightly on leads. I have no idea why this woman wouldn't just hold on to her dog as she was just looking at paints in a different aisle letting the dog wander.

I've been trying to help DS with happy experiences and spending time with laid back, calmer dogs but he just takes 10 steps back when there is a situation like this and given the area I couldn't have predicted or prevented it fast enough.