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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People getting your name wrong...AIBU?

32 replies

AjasLipstick · 14/10/2018 08:33

People...quite often say "Oh hi Patricia!" when my name is Pamela.

It's not Pamela but that sort of mistake.

It really irritates me! I never do it to other people! Why do they think my name is an entirely different one?

OP posts:
DameSquashalot · 14/10/2018 08:37

I get it all the time. "Nice to meet you Karen"

My name is Keren. It's a real name. I haven't made a mistake.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

wildewillow · 14/10/2018 08:55

My nan used to call me by my cousins name. Wrote it in all birthday/Xmas cards too. My cousin is male and I'm not. Thanks nan.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 14/10/2018 08:58

All the time! My name is not common, but begins with the same letter as a name that is very common. That’s what I get called. If they do get it right, they can’t spell it. I’m used to it now.

CaptainCabinets · 14/10/2018 09:02

It’s fucking rude!

My mentor on my last nursing placement spent three weeks calling me Emily (Confused) when my name is actually a 3-letter, commonly-used name. I just ignored her until she looked at my name badge. Every time.

Whatsnewwithyou · 14/10/2018 09:02

My cousin recently misspelled my first name in my grandmother's obituary. I know it's not all about me and I wasnt close to this grandmother to say the least but still, it was a little hurtful. He also misspelled our other aunt's first name, both with alternative variations of our names (think Carolyn/Caroline, that kind of error for both).

Alltootrue2u · 14/10/2018 09:04

My name is double barrelled and I inytroduxe myself using both names. People then assume it’s ok to just use the first bit. It isn’t and I loathe it. I always correct them.

stiltonontoast · 14/10/2018 09:06

My name can be spelled either with or without an E on the end and guaranteed - people will always add the E, even though my name is spelled without it. Its ignorant and annoying, especially in emails when my name is spelled out right there!

MereDintofPandiculation · 14/10/2018 09:06

It really irritates me! I never do it to other people! How do you know? I don't expect other people do it deliberately, and that they're unaware of it. So maybe you're unaware that there's one person whose name you always get wrong?

GreenTulips · 14/10/2018 09:07

I never do it to other people!

How do you know? They may just suck it up and move on!

People do it to me too and I hate it but there you go

immortalmarble · 14/10/2018 09:07

All the time.

It gets pretty wearing having to smile sweetly and say ‘oh don’t worry, I answer to anything’ when actually I’m thinking ‘ffs!’

AamdC · 14/10/2018 09:08

Same here @Alltootrue2u or ask wether i prefer them to to use the first or second of my namesHmm

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 14/10/2018 09:09

Dinto Maybe because I've had this problem since I was a child so I've always, always taken extra care to learn people's names. Even if it means asking twice when introduced....if I think I might not have caught a name I will say "Sorry...did you say Anna?" or "I didn't quite catch your name properly...sorry, what was it?"

Its a basic thing really.

OP posts:
Biancadelriosback · 14/10/2018 09:10

People spell my name wrong all the time, no matter how many times I correct it. My name has an 'x' in it and they always use 'cks'. It changes the sound of it! Even if only to my ear but it definitely sounds different and it's frustrating

EnglishRose13 · 14/10/2018 09:10

Happens to me all the time. Even though it's right there, on my email!

My two neighbours insist on adding a letter to my name (think Ann/Anne - you can probably guess my actual name!) and even though I spell my name correctly st every opportunity - in cards, in our street group chat - they still get it wrong.

Drives me mental!

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 14/10/2018 09:10

Some people just don't think it matters, or they don't mind people getting their names wrong so aren't careful about other people's. My mum and her previous neighbour misspelled each other's names on every Christmas and birthday card for 15 years; equivalent to Ann/Anne and Katherine/Kathryn. It would have driven me mad.

NannyR · 14/10/2018 09:13

People constantly spell my name wrong, you can spell it with an extra a in it which is how my name is spelled, but the more common spelling is without.
Fair enough when someone has just met you, they might assume you have the more common spelling, but when you actually write your name down (on an e-mail or form) and they still spell it wrongly it gets annoying, especially if its someone you've known a while (like my previous boss who I worked for for 6 years!)

Aria2015 · 14/10/2018 09:13

People get my name wrong all the time. There are two common names that sound like mine. I even get it in emails when people reply even though I've signed off with my name. The only time it bothers me is if people keep doing it after I've corrected them a few times. Then I feel like it's just laziness on their part that they aren't making the effort to get it right!

somanybloodysticks · 14/10/2018 09:17

I have an unusual name with an odd spelling. People get it wrong all the time and I couldn't care less. Ive never understood why people find this so insulting. Its not like they are doing it on purpose!? They are just busy / mind elsewhere / dyslexic / stuck in their ways. None of us is the most important person in any acquaintance / colleague's universe so... get over it!

AamdC · 14/10/2018 09:20

My sil had a name that had a more common dervirive so say she was Julia she. had a life time of Julie even when she died the crematorium could nt be arsed getting her name right its just fucking rudeSad

ThrowThoseCurtainsWide · 14/10/2018 09:23

People get mine wrong a lot. Either missing the last syllable which turns it into a completely different name. Or I've had people adding an extra letter on the end which makes it the male version Confused I don't associate the shortened version with being me so ignore it by accident. I make a point of typing my name at the end of all emails at work in the hopes that people will get it right!

Faster · 14/10/2018 09:26

YES. my surname is also a standard 80’s female first name. So people call me that, or they think my name is double barrelled.
Think being called Laura Kerry. I now answer to all variations cos I just can’t be arsed.

FlirtyRomanticToast · 14/10/2018 09:33

All the frickin time. Similar to DameSquashalot my name is one letter out from a less unusual name and it's not often people get it right.

MrsStrowman · 14/10/2018 09:33

I've not been called by the wrong name until very recently, although some people have pronounced the i sound like ee which is annoying but I correct it and it tends not to happen again. When we married DH and I both double barrelled, equality and all that jazz. The NHS now think the second part of my surname is my first name (it's clearly a surname there's no ambiguity) and drop my first name all together. Eg Sarah Worthington-Smythe just becomes. Smythe Worthington like Smythe is my first name 🤷

Nithead · 14/10/2018 09:33

All the time and I've stopped caring. I answer to anything. In fact now on the phone I use the most misheard version of my name as it's far easier

Littlecaf · 14/10/2018 09:35

My uncle has called my DB, Alec when it’s Alex for years. When corrected he just sort of looks like it’s DB who has made the mistake. DB says it used to annoy him but he’s over it now!