To feel utterly torn about going back to work after maternity leave?

[ethelfleda]

More of a WWYD...

I’m due to start back soon after a year off. DS (nearly one) will be going to nursery twice a week and with me the other three days (I will be using accrued holiday 3 days per week) The plan then was always for me to go back full time.

Ever since his settling in sessions, the thought of not being with him 5 days per week really worries me and I’m considering asking to cut down to part time hours (maybe 3 days per week) I feel a huge sense of not wanting to miss out on time with him while he is still so young... but then I also enjoy my job and may be in the chance with a promotion if I work full time and I do feel a slight loss of identity after this first year as a mum.

DH would prefer for him to not be in nursery full time also but I know wouldn’t protest if I did want to work FT again.

I guess I’m looking for opinions on this from you. What did you do? Did you make the right choice?
I feel as though I would never regret spending more time with him but then I also feel a bit sad about ‘checking out’ of my career!

It's likely not an option for me to go back part time, if it was I would take it in a heartbeat.

I am/was (not quite sure which at the moment - DD is 12 weeks old) career focussed but the thought of leaving her at nursery fills me with dread and upset, I really would love to go down to 3 days, if I have to go back at all

“Same story though isn’t it, he is the main breadwinner so it makes more sense for me to cut my hours down etc etc and so it begins!”

You continuing to work and progress is essential to increase your earning power and maintain your pension contributions.

It’s also not just about the money, it’s about prioritising what’s important to you as a family. My DH is by far the higher earner but he went down to 4 days because it’s important to us for him and DS to have a day together.

Why not look at figures and see if the budget will work if you and your DH goes down to 4 days. It doesn’t have to be for very long in the grand scheme of things, maybe until your DS turns 3 and gets some funded childcare hours.

Those of you that worked PT... what did you do with your children on your two days off??

I have three days, we do a swimming class, a play group and a music class, all mornings. Then sleep and play in the house afternoons. If I ever want a day off I can just not go to the playgroup and we can have a day out or a day in. I dont worry too much about housework as long as th basics are done and use sleeps for household jobs.

I found it easier as they got bigger and they showed preferences for activities like play dough, cooking, make believe play etc. Mine have all loves reading books, doing jigsaws and as they got older plaing board games so we would do these things every day. This is the most difficult age for playing because they cant properly express themselves so its hard to know what they want to do.