To think boisterous is often code for badly behaved?

[abacucat]

Just seems to be the main way I hear it being used in real life.

YANBU - I'd probably use it as a polite way to say that the DC is a pain in the arse!

Context is key.

I use it often in a positive way in sporting blogs

spirited is another...code for defiant as buggery.

and bold

I make a face if i read any of those descriptions :o

YANBU.
Boisterous or Spirited ….both mean badly behaved.

YANBU!

Definately.

Lively is another code for badly behaved.

YANBU

Maybe more like a bit badly behaved but with no malice

YADNBU it's definitely code for 'total nightmare' as is spirited.

Same as when people say that they are blunt or straight-talking when they mean 'really sodding rude' or that someone is 'a character' meaning a massive pain in the arse.

In some sense yes. Along with 'cheeky monkey' as if adding the 'monkey' dilutes the rudeness

YANBU.
It'up there with "spirited" or "lively"

Last week, my son was in a very good mood during his swimming lesson and his teacher (very diplomatically!) described him as ‘lively’.

And I answered ‘i was watching and he was a pain in the arse, the little toerag!’

My three year old Granddaughter is boisterous, but I use it in the real meaning of the word.

We don't let her behave badly, but at the same time I hate the way that Parents with more passive/lower energy children want to describe it as bad behaviour.

I also don't view children who need less sleep as not being 'good.

Unless there is SN, yes, from around seven they should be able to control themselves.

I think it's more about matching activities to suit your child's energy levels and personality.

My Granddaughter plays/climbs on, is as good at gymnastics/dancing, as older children, but struggles to sit and watch a film.

@Nellyelora, I detest the "cheeky monkey" phrase, I hear "cheeky" and immediately think, "rude, ill mannered brat".
There's a man who hangs around town a lot who always says to DS, "I bet you're cheeky! Are you cheeky? Are you cheeky?" I try to smile politely but it really winds me up!!

When I tell my friend's DC to stop being naughty, she says aww he isn't naughty, he's just cheeky. Er no, he's naughty! "Cheeky" implies cute and amusing, and her DC's behaviour is neither!

In my experience parents who fail to raise properly behaved kids use a variety of words such as cheeky, boisterous, lively, spirited... all of which are code for "little shit over whom I have no control".

I'm sure some people use it as an excuse but it is just a fact that kids have different temperaments and personalities. Some are more boisterous, some more stubborn, some too cautious some too brave etc. I do think some parents who have kids who are easy in whatever respect eating/sleeping/sitting still etc sometimes congratulate themselves a little too much when actually they're child did most of the work for them. I also think most different temperaments have their advantages - e.g. a stubborn toddler is tiring but when they get older they tend to know their own mind and not be as swayed by peer pressure.

And no OP, YANBU!

they're/their (aaaaa I'm allowed to be a pedant when it comes to my own grammar)

For example my friend's son is definitely boisterous. He's a lovely, kind boy but just full on 100% of the time and also curious and has no fear (my DS is very cautious so I never even have to worry about him climbing up anywhere etc.). When he comes round I just need to make sure I don't expect him to be sitting still all day as he really has too much energy. Other children who I have for the day would be knackered running around all day and love sitting doing calm activities.

I agree with you. It's often used by parents (more mothers) of naughty boys in my experience.

I don't know. Mine aren't boisterous but have a few friends who would be described that way. They are actually the kids I'm fairly happy to look after as they're full on and need watching but are nice children. I child who I hate having round is actually the one who is considered very well behaved because he sits still and is careful to follow rules but he also spends the entire playdate winding up the other children, being overly competitive in quite a rude way ("my party is better than yours", "you're the slowest runner in the class"), trying to get the others in trouble and generally rolling his eyes at everything. Still he's definitely considered the least boisterous of the boys in the class.

username All kids have their own challenges. With naturally quiet kids it might be working on their assertiveness. Their challenges may not be so obvious to acquaintances, but they are still there.

I don't think it's fair to say its code for naughty, high energy kids get written off that way.

I don't mind high energy kids in my house, but I will make sure they have plenty of opportunities to run around to avoid my sofas getting jumped on (something I would class as a bit overexcited and silly, but no naughtier than average)

Actually naughty kids, that deliberately wreck stuff, steal or lie to get other kids in to trouble, for example, do not get invited back.

Context dependent. Nobody wants terribly meek, silent chill who sit in corners doing jigsaws - except maybe in church or at great grandmas.
Most parents want children to roll down grassy banks, jump waves, climb trees - but with an ability to sit quietly and listen in class.

Yes, I think there’s a lot of excuses made for poor behaviour and lax/cowardly parenting.