Showing everything when breastfeeding

[sadkoala]

I am prepared to be flamed but I am genuinely not being goady just curious here.

AIBU to ask why some women choose to show their entire boob/breast when feeding their babies rather than wear breastfeeding tops and/or do the popular vest under top thing?
And I don't mean ones that might do it in the summer when you might only wear one layer etc

I've BF both my DC's and apart from the beginnings when they were a few weeks old and getting the hang of it I've found it really simple to make sure I'm not showing much if anything and found it easy to just wear a vest under my top and feed that way.
Personally I'd not feel comfortable whipping my whole breast out for everyone to see in public especially since I don't find it necessary in order to be able to feed my baby.
I don't mind other people doing that and I understand that some people don't care and/or are completely fine doing that so I'm not passing any nasty judgement here.

But I've been wondering this for a while and I'm just curious as to why some people do it - is it just ease?
Does the attention not bother them?

I saw a lady in a busy cafe today take her jumper off, lower her whole vest down and expose her full bra and pull one side completely down to feed her 1yo. I didn't really bat an eyelid but for a second you could literally hear a pin drop in the place.

Is it OTT or does it not matter?

Sometimes you think baby is feeding away happily and something catches their attention and they move so quickly they expose you to everyone.

Sometimes I’m so fucking tired and depressed I forget I’m not even at home.

Sometimes when I get dressed in the morning, I have to wear what is clean and it may not be ‘breastfeeding’ friendly

Sometimes my almost one year old pulls everything and exposes me while I am trying to push my vest top down and unclip my bra

I always tried my best to cover up but you try not showing anything when you have a child that loves to mess with your top/bra and J-cup boobs.

My body, my choice.

I couldn't bf despite trying, a lot, and I can't imagine considering how much a mum who is bf is showing entering my realms of "really?!" Being a parent is such a slog, there's so many ways to do things, so many things that pick up judgment, that the one biggest thing I learned since becoming a mum is "live and let live". I wouldn't judge a mum with a breast completely out no more than I would a mum pouring a bottle of ready made formula. You do you mate - having felt crippling social anxiety as a new mum, I welcome seeing any mum doing her best. Couldn't give a shit what I see as long as the mum is happy and feeding her child.

Personally I'd not feel comfortable whipping my whole breast out for everyone to see in public especially since I don't find it necessary in order to be able to feed my baby.

Great, no one says you have to.

Luckily for those breastfeeding dyads who prefer lots of skin to skin, or don't like cover ups, or have a wardrobe malfunction, or forget the muslin, or need to use nipple shields, or need to use the rugby ball hold or.... any of the hundreds of reasons a mother or baby might decide to be less discreet than you'd like, the law is on their side.

Pretty sure this discussion has been done to death already but...

It really doesn't matter what that woman does to feed her child. If you don't like it, you have the option to look away and ignore them.

The only reason it makes you uncomfortable is because boobs are seen as sexual objects in our society. Train your brain to see them as the food holders that they are and I'm sure you'll relax.

This thread is really interesting.
I'be often wondered this as well as it's something I see fairly frequently but would have been too scared to ask as some of the responses are horrible as expected but it's been an eye opener.

I feed as discretely as I can but I feel that's as much for me as anyone else. I don't really want random people seeing my boobs. I'm not very body confident in general though so I always figured this was the reason.

I can't quite picture this. Surely either way you have to expose your boob? In any case I didn't want to go out and buy an entire new wadrobe I just wore tops that were stretchy enough.

A woman today was breastfeeding a lovely squishy little newborn.

Her whole breast was exposed before the baby latched on, and even then you could still see the boob.

I had my two children with me and guess what? Neither of them even noticed!! Or cared!!

Rock on mum. You’re doing a great job

I tandem breastfed my twins. It wasn't easy to cover up completely but if they needed fed I fed them. My boobs were designed to feed my babies. I didn't really care if anyone was offended. I'm sure they would have been more annoyed at having to hear one scream while I fed the other!

There’s a woman who comes to a baby group I go to, she breast feeds, I bottle fed, our kids are a few months apart. She sits on a bean bag, cross legged with her 18mo stood feeding whist her daughter is ‘reading’ a board book. Whole boob out, cos he daughter likes to hold the top of her boob and stand up. It’s fucking majestic. It’s nature.

The sun has page 3 for decades.....

You obviously do judge OP.

Not everyone feeds in the same way, for various reasons.

MYOB and look away if it bothers you.

Breast's are primarily for feeding babies with. Generations of men have sexualised breasts and that is why generations of women have been made to feel insecure and self conscience when breastfeeding.

Feed your baby however you want. If you want to whip it out because that's the easiest way you can feed your baby then so what.

The more people breastfeed in public the more normal it will become. And the less people will stare and/or even care. It's just a gland doing it's purpose.

Have you seen the feeding in restaurant thread?!

Anyway I see where you are coming from and I don't get it, of course people can feed wherever they want but I don't know why you would want to expose more than you have to. I have a friend who will quite happily sit with one or both boobs out whilst feeding in a posh restaurant and click her fingers at the waiting staff when she wants something, thus often attracting attention from elsewhere too. Even her husband has been known to put his head in his hands with this, and she's been feeding on and off for 8 years (!)

I had never really pondered it, but I guess my boobs are v big, my nipples are low and kind of out to the side so need a full on whip out, and I would rather dance around with tassles on my nipples than show my tummy thanks. If its hot, I'm not wearing a vest to appease others. If its cold, I'm not wrangling through my layers to appease others 👍👍

I don’t but would if had my way. I am more discreet as my husband is not overly keen on me bf. He says he knows it’s best for baby etc etc but it turns his stomach after a certain stage so I do one up one down with tops and we don’t discuss it much as I will stop when I want to. It’s awkward but we are at the point where I don’t flaunt it and he doesn’t comment now

I never bothered with specific breastfeeding clothing, I found it frumpy, so I often had a whole breast out. But you couldn't see any more boob than you would have were I wearing a low cut top, DDs head covered most of it. Being prudish about a flash of a breast that is feeding a baby is ridiculous in the extreme

I can only remember seeing one person just pulling out the whole breast from above the top in several years of spending a lot of time with mothers who BFed. I remember it because it was a chilly day in the spring to just wear a vest anyway and it was an unusual method.

It would have been the common method used in the days of corsets and low cut cleavage, long before bottles of formula, but it is an unusual method now.

I wore feeding tops because my new found super-sized breasts did not fit into my existing wardrobe so it made sense to buy practical tops for the purpose. In the later stages of breast feeding when some of the feeds dropped and I could fit in a more diverse range of tops, top up, top down worked although that never fell into the hotter summer weather. Top up, top down tends to be most popular but it is awkward for hot weather particularly with a hot baby acting as an effective hot water bottle.

Occasionally, usually for a special occasion, I'd have a more awkward top so would use a scarf not to cover up completely but to break up the neckline (although sometimes a scarf was handy to avoid baby being distracted). I remember a strapless dress for a wedding and getting a little cape/ shrug to go with it to reduce the exposure of flesh beyond normal levels.

I'm of the 'pull my top up & get DD latched asap' school of thought. Not fussed about feeling exposed anymore. Early days BF were practically incredibly hard, DD needed a lot of help to latch and stay latched, I needed to keep an eye on things and when I've tried covering she squirms and comes off. Initially felt quite uncomfortable esp in front of non-blood male relatives but soon got over it & happily feed her anywhere, boobs on show!