Showing everything when breastfeeding

[sadkoala]

I am prepared to be flamed but I am genuinely not being goady just curious here.

AIBU to ask why some women choose to show their entire boob/breast when feeding their babies rather than wear breastfeeding tops and/or do the popular vest under top thing?
And I don't mean ones that might do it in the summer when you might only wear one layer etc

I've BF both my DC's and apart from the beginnings when they were a few weeks old and getting the hang of it I've found it really simple to make sure I'm not showing much if anything and found it easy to just wear a vest under my top and feed that way.
Personally I'd not feel comfortable whipping my whole breast out for everyone to see in public especially since I don't find it necessary in order to be able to feed my baby.
I don't mind other people doing that and I understand that some people don't care and/or are completely fine doing that so I'm not passing any nasty judgement here.

But I've been wondering this for a while and I'm just curious as to why some people do it - is it just ease?
Does the attention not bother them?

I saw a lady in a busy cafe today take her jumper off, lower her whole vest down and expose her full bra and pull one side completely down to feed her 1yo. I didn't really bat an eyelid but for a second you could literally hear a pin drop in the place.

Is it OTT or does it not matter?

Maybe for the woman feeding it is totally necessary to 'lob her boob' out?

I'm bored of all my breastfeeding tops, I have loads of v-necks and I no longer have the energy to give a fuck.

Not everyone finds BF easy. Some people would struggle to juggle their clothing as well as position baby. so they just end up exposing more boob. Some people have really big boobs and it's actually very hard not to get more boob out and you really want to. I always tried very hard to only have as little boob showing as possible. but at the end of the day and nipple is a nipple and you don't really want your nipples out in public.

Unlike me some women just couldn't give a shit. I certainly don't let that bother me. I try not to look at people's boobs whilst they're feeding out of respect. But then again I do also think it's perfectly normal to do it.

I don’t particularly wanna see pigeon chested men get their tits out either. But guess what? Not my body, not my choice, so I just don’t bloody look.

I just unclipped one side of my bra, lifted my top up from the bottom, and stuck the baby on. More likely to show my flabby tummy than a boob! Once baby was on and across my body you couldn't see tummy either. I don't understand why you'd pull your top down rather than up? I never had to cover my baby at all and was able to also be discreet.

I don't really understand why it would bother you. It's just a boob and it's feeding a baby, boobs aren't disgusting or unpleasant to look at. Why would you care if you saw someone's boob?

You wouldn't see the nipple anyway because the baby is on it so the most you ever see is similar to cleavage amounts of boobs, some slightly wobbly skin. If someone did get both out and worst case scenario you saw a nipple what's so bad about that? I just really don't understand why you would find it unpleasant to see someone breastfeeding a baby, if you think about it it's really impressive that we can make food for our babies.

I don't actually think I've ever really seen someone's boob when breastfeeding tbd mostly just baby

I don't get why you're creating a whole post about this if you don't care. Just let people feed their babies however they want to and get on with your life. I have BF both my DC and not given a flying fuck how I look doing it because I'm too busy making sure baby is comfortable and latch is ok etc. The more people who BF in public the more normalised it becomes and that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned (even though in 2018 we shouldn't need to be talking about normalising BFing).

I bf and struggle to do for discrete thing with adjusting clothes, the vest truck has never worked for me! I have a cover but DS likes to pull it aside now so it's not very effective! Why the hell does it matter if I flash a bit of boob whilst trying to set up the feed? I felt very self conscious with DD but with DS I really couldn't care less. If it bothers you, that's your issue and not mine.

A breast is just skin.

Trick not truck!

lob out

I can honestly say I have no idea if I’ve ever ‘lobbed’ anything out. What the does it mean? Is ‘lobbing’ different to just ‘getting’ a breast out?

It's just a tit, you're not gonna melt if you accidentally catch a glimpse of one, are you?

'lob out'

means more obvious than 'get out'

I sometimes feed like you say (pulling down my vest from the top) and I do it because it's easy and I want to. I don't really care if anyone else finds it rude/too much/distracting. I'm just feeding my kid.

Sometimes DS gets quite hot if I have my top pulled up from the bottom as it's sort of on his head too thiugh id say I feed that way 9/10 times.

At home I pretty much always just get it out the easiest way which is often by pulling my top down so maybe I do it automatically when out and about.

DS is one and I've never had anyone saying anything.

For the excitement and the thrills.

I wasn't really feeding the baby I just wanted an excuse to get my tits out in public.

Because, you know, tits are about sex not feeding babies.

What so these women are vigorously and obviously getting their breast out, rather than just, well, removing their top?
Not something I have ever encountered.

I'm with you OP.

I breastfed 2 babies.

Surely you just pull up your top and latch baby on. Nothing to see except a crumpled top.

Why would one choose to reveal all unnecessarily, when generations including me and my mother before me simply pulled up their top, I don't understand.

I'm no prude, but I just don't get it

Most of my clothes are dresses so I can’t pull them up, have to pull down. I have tried a vest under a dress, pull the dress down and vest up, but for some reason it always ends up with the vest sliding down into my baby’s mouth, so I don’t bother now. Can’t be arsed with a proper cover as that seems like extra faff, when I can just pull the top of my dress down, I clip my bra and stick the baby on, almost in one movement. After that, people only see the top of my boob anyway. I did have an issue when I went to an event in a halterneck dress and had forgotten that I would need to breastfeed in it - I did go to a quiet corner as it was hard to keep everything contained ones I had untied the straps at the back!

I’m not showing EVERYTHING though am I? It’s a boob. That’s not even a full set so literally the actual opposite of everything. Also, stop looking at my boobs. I don’t stare at your steak pie do I? Well actually I might, but that’s not because I find it weird or gross, I’m just jealous because I’m on a diet

Because I don't want to spend money on a whole new wardrobe just to save some one else's blushes. I wear normal tops, and push them up. You might see my stomach if you're lucky. Or a button up top which I unbutton and push aside. Or a wrap top, which I push aside. Stuff I had anyway.

Tbh when I'm feeding my baby, I don't give much thought to the opinions of other people.

I think it's puzzling that you ask why women don't try to be discreet because for one pulling down rather than up isn't less discreet - it seemed the obvious best to me, but also, we're just feeding a baby. We're not trying to be discreet. I think the onus isn't on the not discreet to explain why not, it's those who are doing two jobs - feeding baby AND being discreet - that have something to explain.

Lucky you, having breasts that enable you to do so.

Good luck trying it with enormous boobs that also have nipples that point downwards and require lifting up so the baby can latch. Try juggling that and a baby and a cover and see how far you get without flashing everyone

OP I kind of think the same. I actually haven’t noticed this except when we were it with friends and my friend was BF her baby with her boob just out. I found it weird! I honestly don’t come across many women breastfeeding so just didn’t know if this was the done thing now. Couldn’t help but think that I would put a shawl over or something but then I am not BF yet (although I am 5 months pregnant and do plan to BF if I can).

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with OP posing the question on here though. Some of the responses are bit much!

Personal choice, it's none of your business and it doesn't matter.

The thing that does matters is that the baby gets fed. Anyone who doesn't like to see a boob can simply look away.

Hi @sadkoala!

If I've understood correctly; you are in no way offended/upset/clutching your pearls over the sight of women's breasts whilst BFing, you are simply curious as to why some ladies choose not to cover up.

To sum up some of the responses:

• I don't care who sees
• I get too hot
• Baby gets too hot
• All my clothes are V necks
• I've tried vest tops but they slide down and go into baby's mouth
• I've tried pulling up my top but it slides down and goes into baby's mouth
• My boobs are too big
• No suitable clothes e.g. halternecks
• Baby doesn't like being covered
• Tandem feeding twins
• Habit
• Thrills and excitement
• Too much faffing

As a fan of the 'vest top - one up one down' method, I was interested too and had never been close enough to someone who BFs in a more exposed manner to feel able to ask them, so thanks for asking the question - it's really interesting to hear so many reasons!