Fatshaming

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After a conversation with friends, and with obesity (especially in young people) becoming a bigger crisis than smoking in our society, am I unreasonable to think that as we villanise smoking and drinking, should we fat shame more to encourage people to change their lifestyles. It's certainly worked with reducing smoking rates. Don't attack me (I've lost 2 stone). Just wondering why we target smoking more than fast food?

... if some medication is so effective at decreasing metabolism, then why aren't all starving people on it to gain weight? Solution to world hunger? I smell hyperbole.

Deadbudgie

You're talking nonsense, sorry

I couldn't bring myself to read the whole thread but as a fat person I can tell you that 'fatshaming' makes me feel the kind of shame that makes you want to kill yourself not the kind that makes you want to suddenly take up running. I'm not saying that lightly either, so don't get offended, admirablev MH warriors.

Huh? Weird to think medication can't make you fat

Friend who had cancer was enormous at one point. I'm not sure what the medication was but she ballooned. She slimmed very quickly when she came off it.

I don't think fighting cancer she was sat there stuffing McDonald's into her every night

I'm

Insulting people does not inspire them to change, probably the opposite in fact. Do victims of bullying rush to change whatever it is about them that offends the bullies? If and when they change does the bullying suddenly stop or will they just pick on something else?

If you really enjoy making people miserable, under the thin guise of the public good, maybe it's time you had a think about why you enjoy other people's distress?

There are of course many people who have particular reasons that make losing weight difficult - including disability, medication, thyroid problems and in some cases food addiction.

But the vast majority of people who are overweight or obese don't have complicating factors; they just eat a bit too much all the time. Food and drink are enjoyable. It's easy to have a slice of cake when we're not hungry or a second helping of lasagne because it's delicious. I put on a stone over a couple of years just eating and drinking a little bit too much every day, and not taking account of the slowing of my post-menopausal metabolism. I'm trying to lose the weight now.

Surely there are always exceptions - meds being one of them.

BUT
The majority of obesity is caused by eating too much of the wrong foods and not doing enough exercise. The problem is that the reasons why one eats too much rubbish food and isn't active are complex.

However
One of the main reasons that means we don't do much about it is that overweight is actually what is considered normal and obese considered fat rather than very fat. It's easy to make excuses. We all do it. What we need is fundamental change.

Fat shaming isn't the answer though.

I don't agree with you either op. But I also don't agree with some of rhe comments on this thread.

For example you can give up smoking, but you can't give up eating. Well no, but you can give up over eating and both are very hard.

Or the desire to eat a " fuck you" cake. How is that in any way a fuck you to the person who says you're over weight, it's only a fuck you to yourself.

People need to be kinder to each other. We see lots of threads on here about an intolerance to alcohol for example, oh you have a glass of wine a night, you have a problem, was a recent one. And I'd put good money that many of rhe people goading the op in this manner were sitting there significantly overweight and doing so.

Or the threads where people get all aggressive. Smoking makes me gag. You fucking stink.

It seems it's fine to shame someone who drinks or smokes. But it's not ok to shame someone for their weight. Because that's more complex apparently.

So no shaming isn't going to work on overweight people. But no one should be shaming anyone else, for anything.

But the vast majority of people who are overweight or obese don't have complicating factors

How do you know that? Do you know the medical history and mental health state of every overweight individual in the country?

That's some talent.

Actually, scientific research shows that less than one percent of obesity is due illness or medication. The overwhelming majority is due to over eating.

And yes that gives rise to why people over eat, their mental health, just as it does with smoking or drinking.

So no shaming isn't going to work on overweight people. But no one should be shaming anyone else, for anything.

This.

Medications can very easily cause weight gain, steroids are well known for it. I absolutely sympathise with people who have genuine medical conditions and cannot help it. Changing your habits is physically doable though for people who just overeat/don't exercise.

You need to adapt eating habits to your circumstances, I can't snort a family sized pizza with sides twice a week like I could at 17 because my metabolism just wouldn't handle it. I also think that £20 to feed an entire family is not true if you can afford to buy microwave meals all the time. Multi pack of crisps is £1(?) at aldi, so is a pack of fruit for the same price.

I don't think we should 'shame' fat people as such but we shouldn't normalise and even celebrate obesity (like Tess Holliday). It's not fatphobic to point out what health conditions obesity can cause, and it's not fat-shaming for doctors to recommend patients lose weight for health reasons. Obviously saying 'fat people are gross and disgusting' is unnecessary fat shaming but simply telling the truth about what obesity can do to the body shouldn't be taboo.

My parents constantly fat shamed me when I was a teenager. I hated myself. I got fatter with comfort eating. Met dh and he always told me I was beautiful and so was my body. I'm not huge I'm about 3 stone overweight though. I would honestly prefer to love myself and my body and live a shorter life than be ashamed and hate myself.

I don't need to have a particular talent (or indeed to know the helpful statistic that a PP has just shared of only 1% of obesity being due to illness or medication) to realise that, if 27% of the adult UK population are obese and 36% more overweight, the majority of them will not be on metabolism-altering medication.

As a morbidly obese person, if you think I am not fat shamed by myself if no one else every time I:

• take a seat on a plane/train/bus and hope I don't overspill
• ask for a seatbelt extension on a plane
• obsessively plan every journey and outing to try and mitigate the enormous anxiety about not fitting, including extensive research on seat width
• go to an event/cinema/theatre etc and hope the chairs are sturdy enough for me
• speak at a conference and hope the podium can bear my weight
• share a taxi with friends and am default sitter in the front because I take up too much space in the back
• do a fire drill at work and can't then climb the 3 flights of stairs without being noticeably out of breath
• go to a fairground with my kids and either can't get in the ride seats or don't even try
• go swimming or to the beach
• order any kind of food - order healthily and you can see someone thinking "one meal won't help" or order a treat and seeing someone think "how about a salad, fatty"
• having to confront photos of oneself
• going shopping with friends and not being able to try anything on in the normal shops
• being laughed at
• going to team building events and not being able to participate due to a weight limit, and having to find some other reason
• the horror of being asked to go on a 4 day work trip to a sunny location with colleagues: that's travel, clothing, and activity anxiety and shame all in one hit
• bridesmaid dress shopping with everyone else is normal size. I had to get a dressmaker to make one resembling the one the others wore.
• high risk everything health wise despite being healthy
• not being able to ride a bike
• not being physically able to run because my fat apron flaps too much
• being petrified of being invited on anything which requires physical activity or borrowed items. Go Ape? Go-Karting? Coasteering? Boat trip with life jacket? Trampolining? Nope.
• soft play with kids? DH has to rescue them because I will get stuck or break it.
• absolutely every first impression you make knowing you are starting from a position where people think you're stupid and lazy and having to go uphill from the outset.

There's enough shame ever present. It isn't motivating. It's horrifying, depressing and desperately sad that so much of my life is preoccupied with managing anxiety about fat issues or the fat issues themselves.

More shame would not be helpful.

OP you are revolting. What a terrible, awful person you are. I am fat. I've lost 6 stone and I'm still fat but I'm not ashamed. I am a good person and I try to be nice to people (unless they are terribly rude like you) I excel in my career, my family love me, I have a wide circle of wonderful friends, I am talented and beautiful (yes you can be fat and beautiful)

I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF FOR BEING FAT.

But I would be ashamed of myself for being so thoroughly dismissive of other human beings feelings, as you have been.

Have a word with yourself!

I'm fat. I hate myself.
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
The thought that shaming me could become a national policy fills me with dread.

@AndersArms

But don't you know that there are plus size clothes in shops these days, and that one musical had a fat main character, and a big fat lassie was on the cover of Cosmo once? So that means all of those things don't matter because being fat is totally acceptable. /sarcasm

we shouldn't be allowed to personally fat "shame" but yes we should allow society to challenge our acceptance of obesity

Beautifully put

There's also the question of what "far shaming" actually is, especially when helpfully meant HCP advice is often described the same way too. There's even been a thread complaining about Cancer Research saying that obesity is the second largest cause of cancer ... a factual point, but some seem to dislike even that

fulltimeyummy #usernamesaysitall lol. Nothing like a reasoned argument 😂😂😂😂

Ah OK pump, clearly I'm a liar about my shopping budget and diet.

As I've clearly stated, I can't touch most fruit and veg due to a bowel condition. Your comparison with crisps doesn't matter to me, as I can't eat fruit. Perhaps you missed that part.

As I've clearly stated, I can't touch most fruit and veg due to a bowel condition. Your comparison with crisps doesn't matter to me, as I can't eat fruit. Perhaps you missed that part.

You said you can't eat most fruit or veg, that's not non whatsoever - but that doesn't mean you have to snack on crisps etc. I'm not looking to argue, you have medical conditions and I respect that explanation, but I find it hard to see how you feed a family and buy yourself ready meals for yourself on just £20 a week. Are your DC not old enough to cook?

I think th definition of fat shaming is a little grey as well. For many it's the simple act of mentioning it. The cancer research advert being the biggest one recently where apparently it was fat shaming for cancer research to say it was one of the biggest causes of cancer.

There was another thread where a lady went to th doctors and he told her, in very polite terms her weight which was likely causing some of her complications, and she felt she had been fat shamed by the doctor because he mentioned it.

Another one where in a tapas restaurant the waitress did the norm of explaining you usually ordered three or four small dishes each, and the op decided the waitress was fat shaming her.

Another one where an op didn't want to be weighed during her pregnancy, because that would be fat shaming too apparently.

When it gets to this level, where people can't dont do their jobs, for fear of fat shaming, where organisations such as cancer research can't say obesity is a leading cause of cancer, then for me, the definition of fat shaming has become too stretched.

There needs to be a mid ground between total and utter avoidance of the subject and actually insulting someone because of their weight.

Still no return of the OP? Not interested in a debate then?!