to ignore everyone and not tell them I'm in hospital?

[HosieG]

Been admitted to hospital as my baby's placenta isn't doing too well. Not sure what the plan is yet. I have a feeling they are going to check my cervix to see if favourable for induction (unlikely at 36 weeks?) but fingers crossed.

It was always the plan not to tell people I was in labour. Only mum and Dad and of course DH. I'm very scared I might have to have c section but needs must. Had a few texts as it was meant to be my last day at work today. People wondering where I am, what I'm up to, why I'm not in work etc. Friends texting.

I am really down and feeling a bit pestered. I am so happy that people care, but I just want to be left alone.

Do I just ignore and risk worrying people or upsetting them? Do I send out a generic message just saying I'll be in touch in due course?

I'm feeling very stressed, don't like hospitals, scared of c section as I've had surgery go wrong in the past. Trying to work through it all and need some me time... suggestions?

I think a generic message may get them off your back. Just something breezy like "sorry for the delay in a response, bit of a drama at home today, ill catch up with you in a few days"

Is there one close friend at work you can text and just say, I can't reply to everyone's separate messages, I'm in the hospital, please don't worry we're fine, but I'll be switching my phone off soon. People are concerned because it was your last day and you're not there.

Generic message
Sorry, having an impromptu check up today but all is well and I will get back to you as soon as I can

Put your phone on airplane mode or turn of WiFi?

Tell one good mate what’s going on and she/he can disseminated to others?

I’ve had 2 c- sections and they were absolutely fine.

You’re going to be fine and need to do whatever is going to make you calmer. Maybe a generic non commital text ‘ I’m ok I’ll be in touch soon’ then phone on silent and focus on you.

People are asking because they care, either a simple genetic text like PP said about impromptu check up. Or tell one person sad let them pass it on.

Imagine if no one cared enough to say where is @HosieG today? We've got cards and presents etc and she's not here. Now that would be sad.

Good luck and of course keep us informed 😊.

*generic not genetic!!! 😤

I would ignore them, they should understand why when you get to explain it. I also didn't tell anyone and I was in for 4 days being induced everyone forgave me!

I hope it all goes well

I had a C-section and it was brilliant, try and relax as much as you can before baby arrives!

I know your main focus is naturally and rightly on baby and you at the moment but people will really worry if you just disappear with no explanation and they can't contact you .
Just a quick text saying you and baby are ok but in hospital for checks right now would be enough to put their minds at rest. They will almost certainly message back with love and support - but that's not a bad thing at all is it? You don't need to reply but they will know you are ok.

I had a very similar issue- I just turned my phone off and concentrated on what the midwifes/doctors were telling me and my baby. I personally find I get very easily distracted and didn't want to share news when things weren't looking great. I think a few people guessed something was up, but that's bound to happen I suppose! DH called parents with an update when it looked like baby was definitely arriving and sent about 4,000 texts once DS was here, I've never heard his phone beep so much!

No one even mentioned not being responded too! I think they know you've got more important things on your mind (tea and toast!)

(I also had a c section and it was lovely! Recovered very well!)

They're just worried though. Probably your colleagues had stuff planned for your last day and so your absence was particularly noticeable.

I would send a generic message saying something similar to Tulips suggestion otherwise they're going to keep mithering you.

Hope everything goes well for you OP.

I’d send one generic message to everybody:

“Hi, thanks for the text. Just having a check up with the midwife, all ok. Going to turn off my phone now and relax. Chat soon x”

And ive had a Caesarian, it was honestly fine.

Hope all goes ok.

Ps I would absolutely choose a Caesarian over an induction - there have been a few threads on here asking which option to go for and every time the majority of women who’ve had both say that the Caesarian was a better experience and actually an easier recovery. Just something to think about.

Thanks everyone. I think you're right. I'm really irritable at the moment due to a lack of information and a lot of anxiety. It's easy to think 'oh just sod off the lot d you' when actually they just care a whole heap. My colleagues are so lovely, they're just very persistent and the idea of having to text them all individually when I just want to throw my phone at the wall is daunting.

I was in a similar position, I phoned one good friend and explained the situation and asked her to let everyone else know that I was OK and was in hospital for monitoring.

I think you need at least to call your manager and let them know you won’t be in.

I agree that a generic text would be good. You can put your phone into airline mode if you still want to look at it but not received calls.

‘Do not disturb’ setting may do similar but only allow a select number to call you (I think, never used it).

No responding to messages and not turning up at work without telling anyone makes it blatantly obvious anyway. So you have only achieved what you didn’t want.

@greendale17 I've told my manager and he's well aware I won't be in. I would never just not turn up. I just haven't text every single one of my colleagues as there are a lot of them and I know what people are like. You tell them not to worry and that you'll get back to them but they'll still text all day for updates!

Send generic text and choose c/s over induction any day.

I would send a short message to close friends saying you'll update them when you can. I presume your manager knows why you are not at work? Let them deal with telling your colleagues.

C-sections are fine btw, I remember mine fondly.

Just say "Just a bad cold, feel like muck though so turning off my phone and going back to bed, talk to soon x Will you tell x,y,z? Can't keep my eyes open long enough to text them all back"

You're managing to post on here so a brief sentence 'all's well, I'll be in touch' to those who are genuinely concerned wouldn't be too difficult surely.

Or as has been mentioned ask a friend to be your spokesperson to update people.

Good luck, hope everything goes well.

I would imagine your manager won’t share why you are not in work today.

It is perfectly reasonable to not contact anyone, tell them everything, send a breezy message or contact one and explain and ask them to asked everyone else not to message you. Do what ever is best for you right now.

Good luck.

Why can’t you just say you’ve been hit with a cold or a bad stomach overland had to take the day off? You don’t need to say you are at hospital.

I had a c section and it was wonderful. I was also induced and the c section, including recovery, was far less painful!

Good luck.

Definitely send a text to people that are asking after you, they're only concerned. I understand not wanting to have to update all the time but a text letting them know where you are will hopefully stop people mithering.