I feel a complete and total IDIOT. Thought he was special.

[MrsA2015]

For nearly a year now I thought I had a regular squirrel in the garden, I’ve “saved” him from cats, left out bowls of nuts for him and even let him have crusts off of DDs toast.

His name is sooty becuse he’s got the cutest little black nose which I thought made him unique.

Only he doesn’t have a black nose, nor is he my regular squirrel. I’ve just sat and watched a “normal” squirrel dig around burying a nut only to sit up and have a BLACK NOSE. BLACK NOSE BECAUSE OF MUD.

Sooty is basically every sodding squirrel that’s come into the garden and had a dig about burying poxy nuts and getting a muddy nose.

Fuming.

So many red flags, OP.

I hope you have your squirrels ducks in a row.

I actually love you OP. I want to be your friend.

well for a while he was quite tubby and I thought that was disguising his bits but now I know it probably was a female who could’ve been pregnant!

I’ll now have to identify each one and look for patterns or something. I’ve investes too much of my time into this relationship!

It's OK to just walk away OP. Read up on the sunk cost fallacy, maybe try the Freedom From Squirrels programme.

Sooty was gaslighting you the entire time, OP.

You need a SHF (Fox) - just kidding - they can be really expensive 😀. Photocopy everything !( prints, empty shells, tail impression)

DS (almost 4) has been in the garden this afternoon. When he came in I went to hang his coat up and there was something hard in a pocket. A large, live snail - which was probably very confused. DS has wept buckets because I put it back in the garden with the other herds of snails. I had to make up a story about it having babies to look after.

Feeling similarly here op. I've never had much luck operating the car parking ticket machine at my local Asda, this has been going on for years. There's a green area where you rest your finger and it then prints out your ticket, accept it frequently refused to register my finger.

I ended up thinking I had poor circulation or something. Only today I discovered this green sensor pad is actually a flipping' button you have to press. Several times I've had someone waiting behind me saying 'is it not working, I'' try the other machine'.

DS has wept buckets because I put it back in the garden with the other herds of snails. I had to make up a story about it having babies to look after.

That is sweet.

@headinhands that’s hilarious 😂 my intitial thought was how fancy must your Asda be to have finger recognition

My mother in law fed the hedgehog in her garden for a year until the night she slipped at the bottom of the garden and badly broke her ankle.

She had never seen him but knew he was a regular because he ate the food every night.. My father in law was given strict instructions to put the hedgehog food out before going to bed but he was a little late and found a fox sitting at the bottom of the garden waiting for the plate. He watched for a week or more and every time it was a fox, no sign of a hedgehog at all.

Befriend a fox instead. They are territorial, so "your" fox is indeed who you think she is.

Oh I’ve got foxes too! I know I’ve got a regular cub because it’s not running away when I open the backdoor anymore and she’s got bad eyes so looking to get some arnica drops which I keep forgetting to order. My gran has a regulars family of foxes , all with distinct markings who and we give them eggs by hand now they’re used to us.

She’s backed onto a field and gets all sorts including badgers !

this is brilliant OP!! so funny....

LTB. You deserve better than this ratbag. Get copies of important paperwork together. Is his name on the deeds of the house or is he just squatting in your attic? Never trust a squirrel.

If he were in my garden his name would have been mud.

I rarely laugh out loud at a thread, a chuckle here and there may be but not as much as whlst reading this OP! So well written and sweet with a crafty title, giving nothing away! More posts from you please!

I guess the good thing is all the squirrels I’ve helped

@professionallyUnoffended that’s very nice of you to say! I’d try and post about the posse of squirrels I appear to have but I’m already stressed about how many there could possibly be and am wondering why I’ve not seen more than one at a time. Will have to have a day watching the garden and see what unfolds...

Is there someone who can come and sit with you for a while? You shouldn't be alone at a time like this.

Love that . Feel your pain though. Any red squirrels near you?

Lots of red squirrels here - Rhine valley, Germany
They are tiny compared to the grey ones.

I sometimes see little deer in the fields, as well
Hence the popular local dish of venison stew
Don't think there'd be enough meat on a squirrel - looks all tail

Been to the Rhine Vslley many times. Love the shops which sell the M I Hummel ornaments. Passed the Lorelei

Nut gathering wankers!

Frankie a bit of compassion wouldn't go amiss

Oh OP, that is laugh out loud funny, bless ya