To think this isn't normal? WWYD

[paranoiasgotnoholdonme]

NC as can't risk being linked to my other posts with this.

If a male health care worker said he'd had to have a wank in the toilets at work to get rid of his erection because it wouldn't go away what the hell would you say and do?

Surely this isn't normal behaviour?

The man has since gone on to be professionally qualified in health care and holds a position of responsibility working with vulnerable patients.

How long ago did this happen? Assuming some time if he's since become professionally qualified.

If a colleague said this to me I'd be reporting them to HR straight away as it could be deemed sexual harassment. If this happened a while ago though I'm not sure what can be done now. It really should have been reported at the time.

I'd report him. That's fucking grim.

Well that's not the sort of everyday thing you discuss is it?

I find it worrying, not only that he's doing that, but that he told you? Why? What was the motivation behind it?

I would have a quiet word with your line manager. Just say you don't want to be mentioned or make a big deal but it is something they need to be aware of. It's not appropriate to be doing something like that in work near vulnerable patients.
And it's inappropriate to be discussing something like that with you. You must feel like you've been put into a very difficult position.

I'd definitely report him. What was he hoping by sharing this information with you? Maybe that you would offer him a hand 🤮

I no longer work with him. It's a long time ago really and I'd forgotten about it until I remembered he'd also been suspended some years later for being inappropriate towards women.

Because it's so long ago I'm not sure if I should say anything.

Adam Kay mentions this in his book about being a doctor. He didn't seem to think anything of it.

Wwyd? Nothing, it's years later, let it go

Telling someone about it is perhaps a bit misguided, but involuntary erection isn't all that unusual and the solution isn't impractical, so I wouldn't assume they were being sexual, tbh.

Telling someone about it is perhaps a bit misguided, but involuntary erection isn't all that unusual and the solution isn't impractical, so I wouldn't assume they were being sexual, tbh.

^This

Adam Kay talks about masturbating whilst sleeping/resting whilst on call at the hospital overnight. Not quite the same as what the OP's describing.

OP id be more concerned about him telling you than by him doing it.

Is this an ODP?

Great, can't wait until men and women share toilets. Imagine that going on in the next cubicle.

I hope you reminded him to thoroughly wash his hands!

@Fairenuff

Women do it too. I can't remember if I read this here or on the Daily Fail site but it was within the last week.

I don't have time to wipe never mind...

No, not an ODP. Was in a non-professional role in a hospital and then became a professional in a different role after doing a support role in between.

More information needed.

Was he working at the time?
Providing personal care, or just finished doing so?
Was it in reference to a female patient or co worker?

I would have reported this immediately at the time. You did not need to know that kind of information and it is entirely inappropriate.

I think it's all about the context really.
Did he tell you to shock you? To make you feel uncomfortable? What kind of conversation were you having at that time when he said it?
Personally I'm more concerned he said it to you than the actual fact of it. It may not even be true so it really depends on how you interpreted it.
Whether it means he is a risk to vulnerable patients is really very hard to judge based on that alone.

When I was a junior doctor there were loads of girly mags in the on-call room. At least the sheets got changed every day.

I have never known a woman to have a wank in the toilets.

Adam Kay mentions this in his book about being a doctor. He didn't seem to think anything of it.

you're missing the point.Havin a wank fine, telling a co-worker about it- not!

He was at work yes. Night shift I think. I can't remember the context. We were just chatting as friends. We are no longer friends. I've no idea why he told me but I thought it pretty grim. I wish I'd have reported him then but I was young and naïve.

No having a wank at work is not okay.

It actually happening if it was done discreetly and to solve a 'problem' - acceptable.

Telling people about it - not ok! Gross in fact.

Physiological erection isn't sexual though, and what is worse, a man walking around with an erection: "Sorry, excuse me, my penis is currently engorged with blood and it will return to normal size at an unspecified time, until which time I will have an awkward bulge between my legs. Please do avert your gaze and pretend I don't have an erection..." or a man doing something to terminate that erection as quickly as possible?

The only issue I can see is that he told you about it. If you were both young, he possibly 'overshared', but surely the time to deal with that was then, not now.