To think this isn't normal? WWYD

[paranoiasgotnoholdonme]

NC as can't risk being linked to my other posts with this.

If a male health care worker said he'd had to have a wank in the toilets at work to get rid of his erection because it wouldn't go away what the hell would you say and do?

Surely this isn't normal behaviour?

The man has since gone on to be professionally qualified in health care and holds a position of responsibility working with vulnerable patients.

This was a conversation between two friends (in your words). That's very different to a HCP saying something in a professional capacity.

I am an older woman. When I worked I very occasionally sneaked off to the loo to masturbate, it relieved stress and helped me relax. By its very nature it’s a private activity so I never felt the need to mention it to anyone.

It seems entirely inappropriate to mention it to another person. I would not feel comfortable with a colleague who said anything like this.

What people do in private, in toilet cubicles, is entirely up to them, whether at work or otherwise. I don't see how it is inappropriate to masturbate, alone, when nobody would know about it anyway- it's not going to be in the code of conduct is it? He was perhaps oversharing when he told you, but that would depend on the closeness of your relationship, wouldn't it?

If he's since been suspended OP for something that serious I don't think reporting him would do anything.

You were young and naive and not sure how to respond to such a statement, let alone what to do.

Doing it, fine. Telling you, not fine. But as you were friends, you could argue either way.

Any kind of sexual talk that makes the listener uncomfortable is inappropriate at work and should not happen. Sex talk at work is generally a bad idea.

@abacucat Then you obviously have never watched "The Secretary!"

Seriously though, I don't personally know any men that do either.

I've actually known male and female friends do this in private when working really long or back to back shifts in my old job. I don't think anything done in private in the toilet is a problem in itself.

If he told you to shock or upset it wasn't on, but if you were truly friends and he shared then I can't get too wound up about this.