AIBU about Hen Do?

[KTkaleidoscope]

Background:
We have been friends since starting university 12 years ago, had lived together for a year, been on holiday just the two of us together. I've considered her one of my best friends and she has referred to me as that before too. She was the maid of honour at my wedding a few years ago.
Basically, I am hurt she didn’t invite met to her hen do and was wondering if I am being unreasonable to think I would have been. I asked her a few months ago if she had plans for it (partly so I could put it in my diary),and she just said she was having a small hen with a few friends. I did feel sad about that, but she has a group of friends from where she grew up who are her bridesmaids, so I could understand it might just be them.
Recently the photos went up on facebook and... It really wasn’t that small. I mean it wasnt huge- maybe 12 people? But definitely more than I would have thought from her description.
I don't really think there is anything I can do- it is her wedding day next week and I have no intention of making a fuss so close to it. I think for the day I'll try and have as good a time as possible. But possibly post wedding it might be worth telling her I was hurt? I don't know, I think it is likely she doesn't feel as close to me as I did to her and maybe I should just accept it.

pictish - I've been to 30 or so weddings as an adult and I've been invited to the hen every time when its been my friends wedding (as opposed to DH's friend or relative).

Hope all goes well today, how did it go?

Hope you enjoy today. Try not to take it to heart.

Apologies for the slow update- I got back yesterday, and didn't have a chance to write this till this morning.
The day went a lot better than I was expecting. Me and two other uni friends had an airbnb, so were able to get ready and travel to the venue together, and it was lovely to see them.
Seeing the way the bride acted with her bridesmaids made me pretty relieved I wasn't a bridemaid! She was a bit of a diva and it was nice to not have that responsibility. She got stroppy with one her bridesmaids not keeping her glass topped up, the BM got so nervous she spilt prosecco on the bride's train, which did not go down well. Me and one of my friends spent a good while calming the BM down after, so was so worried about it. The other two bridesmaids' job seemed to be to keep her train permanently fanned out. Having said that, it didn't stop her saying 'I know you aren't my bridesmaid, but can you fix my hair?' which did make me internally roll my eyes. My services were also required later in the evening, when she was so pissed she needed two of us to walk her over to a sit with her mum
Me and my other friends brought our taxi back an hour forward, and spent the rest of the night chatting, drinking tea and having snacks, so I woke up so much fresher than I usually do after a wedding, which was lovely.

So... I am actually glad I went. I saw what I was missing (ha!) not being a bridesmaid. I do still want to talk to her about it, but I think more for my peace of mind.

Thanks everyone :)

Sounds like a great outcome KTkaleidoscope, thanks for updating.

You sound ready to have the conversation knowing what you want and are prepared to accept.

That's fantastic KT, your 'friend' sounds very absorbed and self appreciating, your well out of it, poor BM. From what you said, I would not talk to her about it, she is going to get defensive and deny anything. Just distance yourself, and be glad that you have other friends besides her. I think over the years you can probably see the little things that she did to you, like let you down on your significant birthday for a better offer, that makes it more obvious this friendship was one sided.

Actually she sounds quite brash.