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AIBU?

Gina ford, twins, routine methods

48 replies

Ax9619 · 10/10/2018 17:28

I'm pregnant with twins and have a DS who is two. I'm very worried about sleeping/handling twins and a toddler. My DS took a very long time to sleep through or even sleep for a couple of hours at a time and I'm worried this will be further exasperated with twins.

I know Gina Ford is controversial, and I don't want to follow all of her recommendations (not looking at your babies, not cuddling them etc) however I do want some kind of routine otherwise I will loose sanity.

Does any one have any experience with this or advice on what to do? Finally does anyone think it's unreasonable to try and 'routine' a baby because I know some people who believe it is but don't really understand the reasons.

Hope this made sense. Thank you.

OP posts:
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treezylover · 10/10/2018 19:26

Yes I did it with my twins and it honestly worked perfectly. It might not be to some peoples’ tastes (I think mostly Singleton parents) but the first day I started it we had no more witching hour 5pm dramas. once we understood it it was really straightforward, and they literally were such contented babies all the way through we started trying for another when they were two. Then the third arrived and was much harder without the routine! Good luck!

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treezylover · 10/10/2018 21:45

I should add that they were in hospital for a long time before coming home so were already in a routine. I’d be aware of your aims early on but wouldn’t push them into anything as newborns!

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VenusClapTrap · 10/10/2018 21:49

I did Gina Ford with mine. It kept me sane and they napped like clockwork.

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SinkGirl · 10/10/2018 21:52

Honestly, nothing on this earth would get my twins into a routine until they were nearly a year old, even after a long nicu stay for one of them (only two weeks for the other). I gave up trying in the end as it was making all of us miserable. I’m sure it’s much harder when you have a toddler though (my twins are 2 now). It’s always worth trying, hopefully youll have more compliant babies 😂

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JosellaPlayton · 10/10/2018 21:55

I swear by GF and her routines, I only had the contended baby book (not the twins or baby + toddler) but there was nothing in it about not looking at or cuddling your baby Confused

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JellyBears · 10/10/2018 21:55

My advice is use her routine for a base and work from there. She is scary but her routines do work.

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JosellaPlayton · 10/10/2018 21:56

Oh and I’d advise reading the book(s) and then deciding if it makes sense for you and your family.

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Jimdandy · 10/10/2018 21:59

Gina Ford saves my sanity.

I didn’t do the “have a piece of toast at 8am” nonsense. But I followed the sleeping and bottle times.

It worked for us really well, because we fed her before she got to the crying stage of hunger etc.

I just did gentle things to teach between day and night from early on, so day naps were kept bright and loud and nighttime’s kept as calm, dark and peaceful as possible.

By 6.5 weeks daughter was going from 10pm feed through to 7am and by 9 weeks for my son (he was never a good as sleeper as my daughter)

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AlexandraLeaving · 10/10/2018 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jimdandy · 10/10/2018 22:00

@JosellaPlayton

The misconceptions about this book really annoy me.

I personally couldn’t carry my baby in a sling all day and co-sleep etc, wouldn’t be right for me but I wouldn’t criticise anyone else for it, but it seems that routine parents are allowed to be set upon!!!

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Jimdandy · 10/10/2018 22:01
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Dragongirl10 · 10/10/2018 22:01

I had 2 Dcs, 16 months apart, both c-sections, DH who was away a lot and no family near......Gina Ford was my lifesaver. I read the first book in hospital whilst recovering from my 1st c-sec and started to implement it straight away....

If you read it properly at no time does she advocate leaving babies to cry or ignoring them as some seem to think!

With my premature 4lb 6oz DD she settled easily into the routine and was very calm and happy rarely cried and slept through at 4 and a half months.

My Ds was a bit slower to take to it, and its a bit tougher to organise two. I just kept trying to keep him on schedule.
But, by the time he was 6 months, l could put both babies up to their beds and leave them to self settle with no crying, ever...at 7.00pm.

Sleep feed for the yougest and nappy change at 10.30pm, took 20 mins and then l got to sleep through till 5.45 am.

This has continued without exception throughout the toddler years and school years, they are now 11 and 12!

Best thing l ever did.

One thing l would point out though, you HAVE to prioritise the routines over all else for it to work, no throwing it to the winds and popping out on a whim and expecting it all to fall into place the next day!

And waking them to start their day on time is absolutely key......

For me it was a small price to pay for being able to have consistantly child free evenings, proper sleep, rarely tired grumpy babies and no time wasted trying to guess what they needed when.....

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Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 10/10/2018 22:01

I did Gina ford with DTDs, I don't think I would have remained sane otherwise. No, it's not how I would have done things with a singleton, but I needed to survive

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JennyHolzersGhost · 10/10/2018 22:02

Ooh gets popcorn

This should be good. You’ve said her name three times ....

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chickenchip · 10/10/2018 22:04

She sued Mumsnet apparently we are not to talk about her Confused

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Ohyesiam · 10/10/2018 22:06

Have a look at the baby whisperer, it’s routine lead, but a bit softer.

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serenmoon · 10/10/2018 22:11

I got my twins into a good routine that works for us but have never read Gina Ford. I do think routine is really important for twins but I waited until breastfeeding was established before getting too hung up on routine.

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darceybussell · 10/10/2018 22:13

I have tried to do a routine with my DS, and to an extent I have managed to loosely follow the baby whisperer, but I just can't get him to fit into anything properly because his naps are always so short. Did anyone who followed Gina Ford, or any other routine, have that problem? I'm off track from the beginning because Gina would say he needs a nap of x minutes and he would last half that time, and then I can never get him back to sleep again once he has woken up, which means the next nap needs to be brought forward because he can't stay awake until the next nap time without getting overtired. (Sorry, bit of a thread hijack!)

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Jimdandy · 10/10/2018 22:20

@darceybussell

My 2 children varied slightly.

My daughter needed more sleep so had the GF traditional 3 naps a day, but my son had only 2 but for longer and more spaced out.

Are you recognising his sleep cues so he is definitely ready for nap at those times? Or do you think his nap times need adjustment?

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Llanali · 10/10/2018 22:23

We did bits of it; with several horses and other livestock, no family around to help and a DH working 80hrs a week away from the farm, spending days attached to our DC weren’t possible.

DC school aged now and I’m still glad we did it. And no, I never left them to cry either.

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DaenerysismyQueen · 10/10/2018 22:30

Watching with interest. I have a two year old and 3 month year old twins. They're in a good bedtime routine now and go from 9pm-5ish at the moment, but I haven't tried to sort out day naps yet. My 2 year old is a handful and they have to bend around his schedule!

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StripeyDeckchair · 10/10/2018 22:31

I had twins and GF made it doable, particularly as their father did fuck all. I got the routines fixed and began to feel human again. They are both good sleepers (still are).

Wasn't as structured with nos 3 & 4, but they were singletons, their father is hands on and I had full maternity leave & worked part time while they were young.

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darceybussell · 11/10/2018 03:55

@Jimdandy yes I can usually make sure I don't miss the window and he is just tired enough for a nap, but he can only manage one sleep cycle of 45 minutes. It's also nigh on impossible to put him down for a nap, I can't put him down drowsy but awake, that has never worked for me, I struggle to even manage to put him down asleep as he just wakes straight up and then he's impossible to get back to sleep after that. There is the odd exception where I've managed to get a couple of hours out of him in the pram, but mostly 45 minutes to an hour is the most I can get.

He is only 3 months old so perhaps this will get slightly easier as he gets older!

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sproutsplease · 11/10/2018 04:06

I did a mixture of Gina Ford and the baby whisperer after 11 hellishly chaotic weeks. Dc find their own routine but my pair found different ones, so I woke them up, put them down and lived around the routine. But they slept and I coped, often by myself for chunks of time.

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OxanaVorontsova · 11/10/2018 04:12

I used Gina ford with my twins, not to the letter but the basic principles. They slept through from 3 months and although the toddler years brought a few bedtime battles they have always been good sleeper - even now as teens we have no issues around bedtime!

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