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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Gina ford, twins, routine methods

48 replies

Ax9619 · 10/10/2018 17:28

I'm pregnant with twins and have a DS who is two. I'm very worried about sleeping/handling twins and a toddler. My DS took a very long time to sleep through or even sleep for a couple of hours at a time and I'm worried this will be further exasperated with twins.

I know Gina Ford is controversial, and I don't want to follow all of her recommendations (not looking at your babies, not cuddling them etc) however I do want some kind of routine otherwise I will loose sanity.

Does any one have any experience with this or advice on what to do? Finally does anyone think it's unreasonable to try and 'routine' a baby because I know some people who believe it is but don't really understand the reasons.

Hope this made sense. Thank you.

OP posts:

toomuchtooold · 11/10/2018 05:24

I would recommend Teach Your Child To Sleep by the Millpond Clinic, and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I had the Gina Ford twins book and the times she recommended between feeds were longer than they could manage at each stage - if I had spaced out the feeds the way it was suggested they would have been crying for milk half the day. I had a mate with twins who were both over 6lb when they were born and gained weight rapidly, they would've coped with the GF timings but not mine.

IMO you need to leave yourself a bit of wiggle room vs any published routine, to take account of the fact that some babies sleep more than others. Until they are 12 weeks corrected (i.e. 12w plus the time till they would have been full term at 40w gestation) they need to go to sleep when they are tired and that usually means no more than an hour awake each time. During that time, make sure they are getting direct sunlight at around 9am to help set their body clock. By around 12w you'll start to see a 7pm bedtime developing, so go with that, and start to wake them for the day at 7am. From about 16w corrected, they can go longer between naps so you can do a morning nap at 9-10, afternoon nap at about 12-2 ish, late afternoon nap 4-4.45, bed at 7. You juggle those timings, waking early if necessary to make sure both are sleepy for the next nap. Take the late afternoon nap in the buggy so you can get out the house, and so that if one drops it first, the other can still sleep. Expect the late afternoon nap to disappear at 7-9m, the morning nap at 12-16m, and the afternoon nap if you're lucky will continue till they're about 2-3yo.

OneInEight · 11/10/2018 07:21

We did Gina Ford but not absolutely rigidly. One of the things we did was wake twin 2 if twin 1 woke for a feed in the night which reduced the night time wakings. I don't think we ever confessed this to the midwife. Tthe first year with my two was the best year of my life. Enjoy.

MondayImInLove · 11/10/2018 07:34

It worked for us! The only thing is that we didn’t to the twins one after the other as she but at the same time - feeds and naps.

Regardless of the method, the best piece of twin advice is from day 2-3 when one wakes up for milk you feed the lther one as well so they are in synch.

MondayImInLove · 11/10/2018 07:35

Cross post OneInEight

curlii103 · 11/10/2018 07:42

I think she's brilliant and misunderstood! I also thinl it's a guide and not gospel. I would read it and process it and use your knowledge to help you. The world won't end if they don't nap on schedule and she's reminding you to eat something not dictating thst you do it when she says. I thinl it can work and help you get organised.....it helped me despite me being what is typically the other end of the spectrum and o don't actually follow set routine but use her principles. One thing stands out ' cuddle your baby when they need it not for your needs'. I think this is Terrible advice with the disclaimer that my children are terrible sleepers!

fizzandchips · 11/10/2018 07:48

Saved my sanity!
After 4 weeks in SCBU they were in a routine.
When we going home it was suggested I start feeding on demand. I smiled and nodded my head and continued with a variation of GF.

glamorousgrandmother · 11/10/2018 07:55

My dd did Gina Ford with her twins and managed to bf for 6 months without being run ragged. Her next child was fed on demand and carried round and bf for a year. They are now 14 yo and 9yo and all absolutely fine.

JennyHolzersGhost · 11/10/2018 10:06

Have all the olden-days posters left / been banned ? How sad.

LittleBookofCalm · 11/10/2018 10:11

swmnbn

LittleBookofCalm · 11/10/2018 10:13

otoh she introduced me to mumsnet via the guardian

Original poster

Ax9619 · 11/10/2018 18:18

Thanks for your responses everyone. Definitely going to read the book (rather than the internet.) Also maybe get an even stricter routine for DS than he currently has.

Keep having vision of being at home with the kids in the middle of the day and three sets of screaming at once. Silly given I swear my son was maybe the easiest in the first few months.

OP posts:

Glittertwins · 11/10/2018 20:30

We used GF as a base for our DTs and modified it after I realised I was getting a bit obsessed with following it...think "baby must not nap now otherwise they'll not sleep at night". It was a bit daft, the poor baby was practically asleep within 30 seconds and evidently needed to nap. That said, the hospital did advise us to try to go on 4 hr cycles and we didn't feel we were chained to anything. They napped when they needed, wherever they were and somehow managed to sleep 12 hrs a night from 8 weeks

SpagBowl99 · 11/10/2018 20:43

I think if you have 1 DS already, is he young? I would maybe do eve routine at set time, but I would relax about daytime naps. You might stress yourself out otherwise, or miss out on things. How old is DS, if you are ferrying him around daytime then the babies will nap in the car or pram I think

StepAwayFromGoogle · 11/10/2018 20:45

We implemented Gina Ford after 9 hellish weeks with DD2 who was just feeding constantly, so unhappy, wouldn't settle, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't be put down. To be fair we got in a maternity nurse who did the hard work for us but it really did work. She is a much happier baby as a result. We actually replaced it with the Little Ones programme which I found better - more flexible and less daunting. They advise that you can use it as a guide or follow it strictly, whatever works for you. Loads of extra online help too. Best of luck, OP.

SpagBowl99 · 11/10/2018 20:46

I think GF book gave me PND with first child. So I would relax

LemonDrizzler · 11/10/2018 22:00

For those of you who did the GF routine successfully with twins, did you stay in for all nap times to have them in their cot/in the dark as she recommends? I don’t want to end up being stuck in the house all the time but they go to sleep in the pram usually when we go out (or at least one of them does) so that seems to mess up the timings. Should I just go out at nap time and abandon the sleeping in their own cot part?

Also she seems to recommend having them in their own room which I don’t want to do as it contradicts safe sleep guidelines. Did any of you follow the routine but keep them in with you?

They are both currently still awake and unhappy so I am clearly doing something very wrong!

JosellaPlayton · 11/10/2018 22:05

I didn’t do it with twins but from memory:

Nap in the pram is ok, she just advises against transferring mid-nap. So if they fall asleep in the pram they need to stay in it for the entirety of their nap, which if we’re taking about the post lunch nap should ideally be for 2 hours. So yes you can go out but you have to stay out!

I kept DD in with us for not quite 6 months but thereabouts, no issues with with following the routine. You just have to be very good and creeping around silently in the dark when you go to bed!!

Hope that helps.

FreeButtonBee · 11/10/2018 22:10

I couldn’t have done it with my twins as they took forever to feed (BF which was massively important to me). But they were my first so I just chilled out and sat on the sofa for 5 months with them sleeping on me. They slept badly but we muddled through and I am personally glad I didn’t impose any routine on them at that age because they were v different babies and even with feeding them at the same time in the day they were still out of sync for months and months.

sproutsplease · 11/10/2018 22:16

I would let mine nap in the car or pray. I did move mine out of our room at four months but that was before advice to keep them with you.

Spankyoumuchly · 11/10/2018 22:17

Put Gina Ford down and look away.

sproutsplease · 12/10/2018 02:26

Pram not pray, although autocorrect is right and there were times I resorted to prayer!

Lweji · 12/10/2018 02:36

Our bodies tend to follow routines, so routines are good for babies.

However, different babies will fit different routines. It will be easier for all if you recognise which routine they tend to fall into and adjust it to your own needs.

frizzyhaired · 12/10/2018 03:16

I followed ford’s routine loosely. It’s a good starting point while you figure out what works for you. But routine is key to sanity and I also found that feeding the babies at the same time helped.
@lemondrizzler , I kept the babies in my room for 8 months. And was very flexible about where they slept. First 2 months, they were downstairs in a Moses basket with me and later, nearly anywhere reasonably peaceful.

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