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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect School to know where my child is?

59 replies

leomum13 · 10/10/2018 14:01

This morning I had a call from school asking me to make payment for an after school club my DS has been attending for the last 3 weeks. I had no idea he had been going and when I questioned this I was told the after school club allows all children in yr4 and above to just tell them where they are going. They said they did check on him by looking through a window but nothing has been mentioned to me until now. There is a register for this club (which he was not on) as well as after school club (which he was on) and it seems strange to me that it was just accepted for him to go where he wants without any form of documentation giving my consent. Unsure whether to push this further?

OP posts:

Aprilislonggone · 10/10/2018 14:02

Why didn't your ds tell you?

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 10/10/2018 14:03

To be honest my first thought is that you should know where your child is after school.

Could you explain the backstory to help guide peoples comments?

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/10/2018 14:03

I would assume they have to know who is where for safety reasons.

I sure as hell wouldn't be paying for something I'd not consented to

BiscuitDrama · 10/10/2018 14:03

I’d expect you to know where he was, though! I’m clearly missing something...

SassitudeandSparkle · 10/10/2018 14:03

Where did you think he was at that time?

NicePieceOfPlaid · 10/10/2018 14:03

Where did you think he was?

BiscuitDrama · 10/10/2018 14:04

Oh I see, two after school clubs.

HolesinTheSoles · 10/10/2018 14:04

If they're both on school premises I don't see it as a big deal. I guess they should have checked with you if it was going to require payment but it doesn't sound like a huge safety issue.

NWQM · 10/10/2018 14:04

What have the after school club said about him not being there? Do you pay them? I’m gathering he was allowed to choose something that was an extra cost but no I’m not sure they would get anywhere demanding the money. I would be making a safeguarding complaint.

BertrandRussell · 10/10/2018 14:05

So he was at an after school club but not the one you thought he was at?

SassitudeandSparkle · 10/10/2018 14:05

Sorry, hit wrong button! The after-school club, did they not raise that he wasn't there on the night(s) that the club ran? It does seem strange that they would expect you to pay twice (unless the after-school club is not run by the school, if that makes sense).

dementedpixie · 10/10/2018 14:06

Sounds like he should be at one after school club but has been going to another instead. Do you pay for the original club?

OrdinarySnowflake · 10/10/2018 14:06

Year 4 children at my dcs school aren't just allowed to walk home without being collected by someone. So who was supposed to be collecting your child and why didn't they tell you they weren't actually collecting him?

TooDamnSarky · 10/10/2018 14:06

So effectively he was in the wrong club?
They knew he was supposed to be in school. And checked that he was in school. But assumed he had your permission to switch to the paid-for club.

I wouldn't be annoyed from a safety POV as the seemed to do the appropriate check that he was in school.
But fair enough for you not to pay if you didn't want him to attend the paid club.

LannieDuck · 10/10/2018 14:07

If they want you to pay a charge you haven't agreed to pay, YANBU.

ny20005 · 10/10/2018 14:07

My kids have done that before but it wasn't a paying group. They'd signed up to bible club (thinking they could go on free weekend away) & they'd been a few weeks before after school mentioned it

I was a bit miffed of the school if I'm honest but I wouldn't be impressed to be charged for a group I hadn't given permission for

pickingdaisies · 10/10/2018 14:07

Don't see how they they can charge you if you hadn't agreed in writing. I'm guessing your son didn't see the difference between one club and another, especially if the staff just let them wander in to whatever they fancy.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2018 14:08

So you put him in generic after school club.

He wandered off to saw sowing class. He's on their list so they've called you to say pay up for sowing class. You're saying you didn't give consent for sowing class. They're saying they don't ask for it??

Someone knew where he was to charge you / they need some policy in place in the event of a fire so I took the school don't. Know where he is clearly isn't accurate.

However if he wandered out of generic as club and sat outside or left the site would they know??
Can they charge you for something you've not agreed to pay for? I'd possibly refuse to pay unless you're happy for him to continue going and thus intend to pay going forward

OrdinarySnowflake · 10/10/2018 14:08

Oh sorry just seen you thought he was in a different after school club!

Then no, they can't just ask you for payment when they didn't get your permission for him to attend in advance. Say no, explain you didn't give permission for him to go to the club. If it needs payment, they need to get parental permission in advance.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 10/10/2018 14:08

Point out to the wrong club that your kid shouldn't have been there and tell your kid to go to the right club from now on.

Isitme13 · 10/10/2018 14:11

So you signed him up to after school club, and assumed he was going as you weren’t told any different.

He has instead been going to a different (paid) club, where he wasn’t on the register but was accepted and you weren’t told?

I wouldn’t be happy. Registers are taken for a reason. Should anything have happened, Jen wouldn’t have been accounted for st the after school club (why weren’t they chasing up where h was?) and wouldn’t have been known about officially at the Lego club.

Major safeguarding breach.

And yes, since he was on school premises by agreement, they should know where he is. And they shouldn’t be accepted a year 4 child’s word without talking to a parent/adult in charge.

PorkFlute · 10/10/2018 14:11

They did know where he was hence you being billed! I’m assuming that it’s a sports club or similar going on somewhere in the school at the same time as after school club.
I had the same once - got billed for a few weeks of football ds had been going to. It didn’t bother me as I was happy for him to go.
I don’t think you should have to pay if you didn’t agree to it though. It’s all very well if your son did but he’s not paying!
So yanbu to expect not to be charged but I’m not sure what your point is about them not knowing where he is?

Original poster

leomum13 · 10/10/2018 14:21

Yes, @isitme13 this is exactly it. He is signed up to attend after school club every night and thats whereI thought he was. He had mentioned a drawing club but just assumed it was something free during school time as they call music lessons, music club and go to running club at lunch. It now seems for the last 3 weeks he has been going to a drawing club, that yes is at the school but has a register he was not on. My concern is that they have told me they just took his word he was allowed to go without checking with me and ultimately if it not been a paid for club I would still not know. Surely the school has a responsibility to check a register and if a child is not on it or not present when they are on it to check with parents as to where they are?

OP posts:

Original poster

leomum13 · 10/10/2018 14:22

And further, would they just allow my child to leave school entirely if he just told them he could?

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2018 14:24

Also worth remembering he's only 8 as well so def shouldn't be wandering anywhere he wants and possibly off site

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