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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect School to know where my child is?

59 replies

leomum13 · 10/10/2018 14:01

This morning I had a call from school asking me to make payment for an after school club my DS has been attending for the last 3 weeks. I had no idea he had been going and when I questioned this I was told the after school club allows all children in yr4 and above to just tell them where they are going. They said they did check on him by looking through a window but nothing has been mentioned to me until now. There is a register for this club (which he was not on) as well as after school club (which he was on) and it seems strange to me that it was just accepted for him to go where he wants without any form of documentation giving my consent. Unsure whether to push this further?

OP posts:
RomanyRoots · 10/10/2018 14:32

I would send a letter explaining your concerns and ask how it was allowed to happen

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 10/10/2018 14:36

Will they be giving you a refund for the other club or are they expecting you to pay for both? Not the point I guess, but if they are just charging for the club he's been to (assuming there isn't a massive discrepancy in price) I'd pay but make the point that they shouldn't just be taking his word for it. If they're expecting payment for both or there is a massive discrepancy in price then query the bill and make the point.

PorkFlute · 10/10/2018 14:39

Most schools are set up so you can’t just walk out and an 8yo should be sensible enough not to do that even if they could.

TheOrigFV45 · 10/10/2018 14:41

The club for which he is registered with absolutely should make sure he goes to them. When he didn't turn up they should have found him and got him back. Only then should any discuss drawing club.

If a child is on a list to go somewhere, then that's where they should be.
It's not so much the £ for me (though I'd be cross about that), it's the problems that would arise if there was a fire drill (or an actual fire).

I have been using after school care for many years and don't tend to get involved, EXCEPT in situations where the register doesn't match up. That's what the register is for and this is exactly how vulnerable children get let down.

FruitofAutumn · 10/10/2018 14:42

He is 8/9 not 4. years old not 4!

I don't understand your title.The school did know where he was, it is you who didn't.

GhostsInSnow · 10/10/2018 14:43

RTFT Fruit.

FruitofAutumn · 10/10/2018 14:43

The club for which he is registered with absolutely should make sure he goes to them. When he didn't turn up they should have found him

They did! they looked throuh the window and saw he was at drawing club!

FruitofAutumn · 10/10/2018 14:45

yeah, i've read the full thread, and....

TheOrigFV45 · 10/10/2018 14:46

They did! they looked throuh the window and saw he was at drawing club! and that would be fine IF they then transferred his name from the club he was meant to be at to the new one AND informed the parent.

I'm pretty sure 'looking through a window' wouldn't meet safeguarding standards.

Bekabeech · 10/10/2018 14:48

I would write to the school explaining your concerns. I would also expect not to have to pay twice for the same time.

I could have seen my DC's Primary doing something similar, but I would hope they would know where my DC was. But they did: report me to SS when a club was cancelled and they didn't inform me of this and allowed her to walk herself home (I thought that was an own goal and if SS had free time could have backfired nastily on them). They also used to make my Dd in at after school club when she wasn't there, as they muddled her with a boy with the same surname (they looked nothing alike).

beachysandy81 · 10/10/2018 14:50

They obviously realised he was there so I don't think it is a safeguarding issue as kids move around the school all day between various lessons and activities. However, any paid clubs should be agreed in advance with parents so it is a bit strange that he just ended up at it without an agreement first.

diddl · 10/10/2018 14:53

"would they just allow my child to leave school entirely if he just told them he could?"

Hopefully not!

At least he was still on school premises, although not exactly where you thought.

I don't think it's on to just let them wander between/choose clubs though if some are paid & some aren't.

That's rather sneaky.

But if you haven't signed to say that he can attend-surely you don't have to pay?

bigKiteFlying · 10/10/2018 14:55

I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

I'd expect them to know which club they should be in and raise it with me if they went to a different one.

I would not be happy to be charged twice either.

I'd put your concerns in writting to everyone involved and have a word with your DS as well.

I think also looking through a window isn't good enough. I'd expect a conversation with the child - other group - then yourself first time it happpened not wait three weeks beofre mentioning it.

lifecouldbeadream · 10/10/2018 14:56

Our school does this, and it doesn’t appear to be an issue. Child signed up for ‘after school club’ till 6.00. Child can also be signed up for ‘hobby club’. When hobby club finishes, child goes to after school club. Child is registered at both on arrival. However, if you are expected to pay for hobby club, then yes, they should be asking parents unless it is a voluntary contribution.

sollyfromsurrey · 10/10/2018 14:58

At yr 4, it is they should be getting approval from you. At any age anything with associated costs should be signed off by you.

bigKiteFlying · 10/10/2018 14:59

I've known both primaries mine have gone to to allow children from after school clubs to attend hobby groups - but they always check where they are at start and then pick them up first - at first primary often led out first so they didn't get lost in crowds.

HeidioftheAlps · 10/10/2018 15:00

I wouldn't be concerned from a safeguarding point of view but would expect to give permission for a child to attend a club i was paying for

TheOrigFV45 · 10/10/2018 15:05

beachysandy81 Maybe not a SG issue then but H&S (or whatever).

Picture this: fire starts in drawing club where OP's son is. They are evacuated safely.

After school club where OP's son isn't but should be are also evacuated safely but to another fire point outside the school.

The person who looked through the window went home 30 mins ago.

Both clubs take registers. Sure, the boy is safe, but HE IS NOT on the right register.

Parent turns up having heard of fire. Son is on after school list but hasn't been marked as there. PANIC until at some point they realise he's at the drawing club.

Unlikely, but what's the point of having a register if they're not going to use it?

I guess the person who looked through the window should ensure the boy is on the right register.

TheOrigFV45 · 10/10/2018 15:07

Maybe the answer is just to have a single register of everyone who is still on school premises, regardless of where they actually are - though surely a child should know who is responsible for them (and the adult know they are responsible for that child).

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 10/10/2018 15:11

I would have expected the after school club he was going to to tell you immediately! And didn’t they notice he wasn’t there?!

user139328237 · 10/10/2018 15:14

I dont think that they'll be a single primary school in the country with more than 1 assembly point so that's really not relevant.
It is also likely that the afterschool club runs later than drawing club so some children may well be legitimately be signed up for both.
As long as the afterschool club know who is at drawing club and the person in charge of drawing club knows who is there it doesn't really matter if they are on a preprinted register for the purposes of safeguarding.

RedSkyLastNight · 10/10/2018 15:21

Not a safeguarding or a H&S issue surely?

The "generic" after school club know he is at hobby club.
The hobby club know he is at hobby club.
OP's DS knows where he is.
The only person who doesn't know where he is is OP!!

If the after school club have a policy that they just trust Y4 and above children to tell them when they are at hobby clubs, then they've simply followed their policy.

The only slightly at fault group is the hobby club as he wasn't on their register, but maybe it's quite common for "generic" after school club children just to come along as a trial when they have spaces?

Either way, the person most at fault is OP's DS who, in a position where he was meant to be trusted, has lied.

anniehm · 10/10/2018 15:38

Things must have changed - we had to sign consent forms and prepay for clubs. They could walk home alone from year 3 though

pickingdaisies · 10/10/2018 16:27

Yes let's blame the 8 year old.

OrdinarySnowflake · 10/10/2018 17:45

It doesn't follow he would have been allowed to just leave the school grounds, in our after school club (the childcare element), many children go to the paid for or free 'activity' after school clubs, but are the responsibility of the after school childcare club. They can't allow them to leave without an adult at the end of the activity club, and those who are in the childcare club, are taken back to the childcare club after the activity club has finished.

There has been a screw up though, and they shouldn't just ask you to pay without having checked you actually gave permission first.