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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pride or silliness

28 replies

Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 09:45

I know prob unreasonable and but doesn’t make any sense so need different

DP asked about a airport 95.00?after a 15 hour very busy Saturday night, so will of done 19 hours, if plane arrives in on time at 4am! We discussed it and agreed it not worth it, and after a Saturday night shift DP will be exhausted! Sundays are our time as he is a taxi driver! Does other work when not driving so DP and I had agreed Sunday afternoon and Mondays together! This meant I had to rearrange to meet this and make sure I don’t book other arrangements!

DP has now decided against what we agreed and I feel disrespected at change of agreement! And as a couple we discuss things for a reason if it effects our time together!

DP compromise is taken Tuesday Am off to off load Sunday DP will be asleep, but hasn’t considered I have plans and won’t drop them just cause DP went and took a job we agreed he wouldn’t, it’s worry DP driving 19-20 hours anyway when DP only does 12 hour shifts, and told his firm, he can only hack 12 hours as they wanted him to stay on longer sometimes!

If he take Tuesday morning off DP would have airport 55.00 and get on average 50.00 so makes 105! Where as airport is 85.00 but won’t cancel airport Sunday morning, it’s not about being skint or cash! And has presumed I be ok to see DP on Tuesday morning without any consideration on my plans.

I think it’s self fish.

It just doesn’t make any sense, to me, maybe to you it does?

OP posts:
LemonysSnicket · 10/10/2018 09:50

None of this post makes sense... what are the 55, 50, 85 numbers for? Do you only have one day to spend together? How long have you been together? What does the airport have to do with it?

MrsStrowman · 10/10/2018 09:52

Are the numbers you quote the amounts he charges. Is he a taxi driver?

LoniceraJaponica · 10/10/2018 09:52

What?????

MrsStrowman · 10/10/2018 09:53

If he can make more on a Sunday and take time off another day YABU, taxi driving is by it's very nature a job with unsocial hours

Waitingonasmiley42 · 10/10/2018 09:54

The numbers must be money without the £. I still can’t particularly understand what’s going on. Just make your own plans/don’t change your plans to suit him. If it’s a once off let it go but if it’s regular then maybe reevaluate the relationship.

cheesefield · 10/10/2018 09:54

Eh?

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 09:55

So £50 is what he earns Tuesday morning in jobs.

£55 is local airport job, he get 6am Tuesday morning.

£85.00 is international airport.

We only get full day Monday as Sunday he get up normally after a typical Saturday night shift 12pm - gets to me about 3/4pm

So we get one night together.

It’s been roughly 11 months

If he takes airport after shift on Saturday night, DP will be sleeping all day and is 50/50 DP whether he comes over or not, and will be knackered Monday?

We agreed after Saturday shift dealing with drunks, jobs and how busy shift is, DP would not do the job.

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 10/10/2018 09:55

My understanding is your DP had been offered £95 to do an airport run at 4am Sunday morning, he will have worked Saturday night as it's a busy night for taxi drivers. Sunday is your usual day together so you're not happy about this. He intends to take Tuesday as rest time instead.
With regards to working 19 hours could he not do a split shift Saturday? So work a few hours in the day, come home for a while, then go back on shift about 7 pm working right through until his airport pick up? Weekends are lucrative for taxi drivers

BlowPoke · 10/10/2018 09:55

I don’t understand! This post makes no sense! What’s with all of the exclamation points!

IABURQO · 10/10/2018 09:59

I have no idea what you're trying to say orc to ask, does your DH understand what you're asking for? Pause, deep breath, try to sum up in one sentence e.g. "I want to spend more time hanging out with DH" (is that it?), then work out a range of solutions e.g. "saturday night / sunday afternoon / wednesday evening" etc and discuss them with him.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 09:59

So basically DP does 15 hours on Saturday night has now gone back on word and is now taken the job.

And is taken Tuesday morning off not considering my plans and money side it cancels out in fact DP losing money. What I’m bothered about is why is DP so adamant fling this job and won’t cancel it??

OP posts:
IABURQO · 10/10/2018 09:59

(or not orc!)

LoniceraJaponica · 10/10/2018 10:00

So, an airport run after a 15 hour shift?
That doesn't sound very safe to me.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:01

DP will not consider split shift,
I DP yo cancel airport as no reason for DP to do so??

I am concerned why DP won’t cancel as it not about cash as DP will lose money taking Tuesday off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:03

Yep my point exactly it’s not safe doing the airport after horrendous Saturday night?

DP won’t cancel though DP willing to lose money over this??

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 10/10/2018 10:03

Your post makes no sense, although I can now see it has something to do with money.

Neshoma · 10/10/2018 10:09

Self fish?

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:14

Money isn’t the issue, Sunday morning Airpirt is £85.

Tuesday morning will cost £105

So doing Sunday morning airport and then taken Tuesday morning off will mean loss of £20 so surely DP would be better to not do Sunday morning airport, which is dangerous after 15 hour shift.

And disrespected our agreement that DP doesn’t do the airport?

So why not cancel Sunday morning airport?

OP posts:
happypoobum · 10/10/2018 10:19

Is that you Sharon?

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:20

I personally do not understand why DP cannot cancel Sunday morning airport?

1 DP will be out of pocket by taken Tuesday morning off. So will lose £20/£30 pounds
2 disrespected me by going behind back and taken job after our discussion.
3 why taken this women so important that it ruins our time which I have rearranged to be possible.
4 expecting to see me Tuesday am in replace of Sunday. Not considering my plans.

OP posts:
Waitingonasmiley42 · 10/10/2018 10:24

If he isn’t going to change his mind you’ll just have to let it go. Try and forget about it and plan something nice yourself. There’s no point agonising over this if his mind is made up. It’s very frustrating but you don’t live together/aren’t married/don’t seem to have children together, so he is entitled to make his own decisions.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:26

My main concern is the women tbh! DP has refused jobs on Sunday mornings! And has cancel jobs before or change arrangements so the customer is sorted

What so special about this one job?

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 10/10/2018 10:37

It just doesn’t make any sense, to me, maybe to you it does?

Nope. Work on your garble-ish op.

Original poster
Housingcraze · 10/10/2018 10:41

Sorry I’m dyslexic and cannot do essays when stressed!

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 10/10/2018 10:41

why taken this women so important that it ruins our time which I have rearranged to be possible.

So this is the crux of it. You need to ask him.