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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - neighbour noise, victorian terrace.

27 replies

terryandthechocolateorange · 10/10/2018 08:41

I've wanted to post for a while about this but I'm aware how neighbour noise threads often turn...

However, I've got to the end of my tether so I'd like to hear what people think.

We live in a Victorian mid terrace and are really struggling with noise from one side. The neighbours have two young children who make noise, as kids do. Unfortunately our walls are very thin and noise travels in a big way, I can hear full conversations and just general movement/walking etc all the time.

Now, I appreciate that in the day, there is nothing I can do about hearing them in their house. I'm sure they hear us sometimes. The issue I have is when the noise is at its worst - they struggled with their youngest not sleeping and had her in their room (which is next to our bedroom) for just over a year - waking us up at least twice a night every night with her screaming. Their older child would join them in their room from about 5am, screaming and banging and stamping around. It didn't occur to them to take them to another part of the house when this happened until I had to say something as I was being woken up through earplugs and white noise being played. They were apologetic to an extent but ultimately didn't really take on board how loud they were being. Things got slightly better but are now creeping back to how it was before, with both children being awake and screaming by about 6/6:30am every day.

I am embarrassed to keep having to ask them to be more considerate as I must sound like a broken record. Am I being unreasonable to want to be able to sleep past 6:30am in my own house? I'm currently 38 wks pregnant so they will have to deal with the level of noise my daughter will inevitably make, however I'm already concerned that their children will wake her up and impact on any routine we try and implement.

The mum is a strange character and really struggles with motherhood in general so I'm also acutely aware of not wanting to stress her out any more but we are genuinely thinking of moving house because of all this.

AIBU by being so upset by this or should I just suck it up and get over myself?

OP posts:
Aftereights91 · 10/10/2018 08:44

Maybe she can't keep them quiet? My two year old gets up anywhere between half 4 and half 7. I can't stop him singing at full volume and shouting etc because he's two. I tell him shh people are sleeping and he'll quiet down for a minute,then forgets and starts being noisy again.

MacosieAsunter · 10/10/2018 08:48

But you could take him downstairs , away from other bedroom walls. That would be the considerate thing to do.

MrsRachel85 · 10/10/2018 08:49

I sympathise but I doubt they’re happy about the noise the kids are making either. I don’t think it’s fair for them to not be able to use their bedroom during certain hours to keep a neighbour happy so yes I think you are BU. Sadly I think this is a risk of living in a terraced house and you should probably move to a semi or detached. Terraced houses are notoriously noisy.

catpooproblems · 10/10/2018 08:52

It’s such a difficult one.

Your baby is likely to make a racket during the night at some point. That being said, I don’t allow my DS who’s 4 to shout and sing in the morning and certainly not in my bedroom.

Feellikeimthemaid · 10/10/2018 08:59

If you can afford to move then maybe it's time to look for somewhere else to live because I doubt the noise is going to go away. Alternatively, could you look at adding some sort of soundproofing to the walls in your bedroom to lessen the sound?

Look on the positive side - this has given you a good idea of what sleep patterns to expect once your new baby arrives Wink.

toohottoocoldnoinbetween · 10/10/2018 09:04

Yeah you can keep a two year old from singing at full volume. It's called parenting.

BlueBug45 · 10/10/2018 09:05

Your baby is going to scream randomly during the night waking them up so I wouldn't worry about it.

Aftereights91 · 10/10/2018 09:06

What do you suggest I do put my hand over his mouth? I tell him shhh but he forgets and does it again, I tell him shhh he stops for a bit, forgets and does it again. He's 2 stop being ridiculous

ileclerc · 10/10/2018 09:06

Part and parcel of living in a terrace. I'd hold off saying anything else you may well have a nightmare early riser or screaming baby.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/10/2018 09:19

you can move your bedroom to another part of the house just like you're suggesting they should do.

AjasLipstick · 10/10/2018 09:19

We had hell from a neighbour who expected silence. We're not loud but have kids. We moved in the end.

Original poster
terryandthechocolateorange · 10/10/2018 09:22

I'm also anxious that she will start texting and knocking on our door if our little one is loud. Tit for tat, as we have had to bring the noise to their attention so often. She's quite an odd person and we have had issues with her having zero boundaries and being quite nosey/intrusive so I'm just petrified as to how this could go!

I just want an easy, slightly quieter life and a home that doesn't feel like I'm being invaded constantly!

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 10/10/2018 09:22

Not long OP and they'll have a real insight into how noise travels between the houses. Also I have found since being pregnant I wake much more easily in the night, to small sounds I would've undoubtedly slept through in the past

Original poster
terryandthechocolateorange · 10/10/2018 09:25

Drinkfeckarsegirls - no can do, we don't have any other room. Also I'm not suggesting they move bedrooms, I suggested that at 5am when their 3 year old wants to play the recorder and bang on the walls as percussion that maybe one of them could take them downstairs!

OP posts:
ReadMyLipss · 10/10/2018 09:27

If you're 38 weeks pregnant then your baby will pretty soon be making enough noise itself, unless you're very lucky and have silent baby!

I don't think you'd like it if you had a neighbour constantly at you to keep your baby quiet. Babies and kids are noisy sometimes, no matter how considerate you try to be as a neighbour.

easyandy101 · 10/10/2018 09:28

Some people just need to live in detached houses

OctoberBirthday1110 · 10/10/2018 09:41

I'm always more worried about my own kids making too much noise to disturb neighbours.
I don't stress about noisy neighbours unless it was all in night parties.

TressiliansStone · 10/10/2018 09:44

I fitted sound-absorbers. We can still hear a great deal, but you can no longer have an actual conversation through the wall...

ilovesooty · 10/10/2018 09:45

move to a semi or detached

I'm sure it's that easy Hmm

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 10/10/2018 09:45

My neighbours have a party and loud sex house with accompanying excessive car revving, late night/early morning drunkenly stumbling home and noisy goodbyes. They have improved this last year but I think they are just calming down a bit rather than in response to everyone's complaints. I'm hearing impaired.

I think I should have moved a few years ago as my noisy neighbours really disturb my family's sleep - every weekend used to be a party of some sort. The hassle of moving put me off but it has caused so much stress and anger.

I don't think the children next door are suddenly going to become quieter. I don't know if noise insulation would work? I had the double glazing redone, a new door put in and heavy curtains put up. This has reduced some of the noise but their living room and main bedroom is against my stairs and a lot of sounds come through the wall.

IABURQO · 10/10/2018 09:50

I think the noise often comes through the chimney; if everybody had their bed on an internal wall then it'd be less of an issue. The only real solution though is to move, sorry.

Pinkywoo · 10/10/2018 09:51

I don't know if it's an option for you, but you can get noise reducing plaster board, it looks exactly the same once skimmed and makes quite a big difference to neighbour noise.

Pippiphooray · 10/10/2018 10:08

We live in a Victorian terrace with two small children. I’m afraid it’s just part of the deal. We hear noise from both sides, one side has a small child too. We all have dogs as well🙄. When our youngest was a newborn our child free neighbour did bang on wall a couple of times, made me feel awful, I was exhausted and trying to settle the baby. I had a chat with her and it hasn’t happened since. It’s just part of life living so close to each other. x

busybarbara · 10/10/2018 10:14

I can't stop him singing at full volume and shouting etc because he's two.

Quite, and this is the crux of the issue. These situations will only get worse in society as back when I was a child in the 70s our parents had options for keeping us quiet that actually worked but now it's wrong.

Aftereights91 · 10/10/2018 10:23

@busybarbara what like slapping them? A toddler for singing

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