To worry that we've made a mistake by moving

[Jackfruitburger]

We live in a big city in the UK. In August we moved from the suburbs to the inner city. I wanted to be closer to the good primary schools, closer to our jobs in the city and closer to a lot of the activities that we ended up travelling to every weekend. I just wanted something different to what I had growing up, which was the feeling that everything was always going on 'elsewhere.'
We had crime in our area but it was more domestic violence. We had to call the police on three separate neighbours after they brawled in the street with friends, family and partners. However I always felt safe walking through my neighbourhood, and never worried for my partners safety if he was out at night. We could walk to the cash point in the evening if we needed to.
In our new house it's different. Tonight there has been three stabbings in our area, one on our road. Last week the whole street was cordoned off for a stolen car and someone resisting arrest. I feel like we're trapped in our house in the evenings and I worry if dp goes to the corner shop for milk after 8pm. I can't imagine how much I'll worry if my dc's want go out when they're older.
We love our house, the kids school, preschool and the mums are so friendly. I just feel so saddened by the crime on our doorstep and the feeling that our perfect house might be a perfect prison.

We have managed to buy a huge three bed for the same price as our tiny two bed

That's your problem. In a decent inner city area you should get less for your money, not more.

We have managed to buy a huge three bed for the same price as our tiny two bed

This is your problem. It's generally the rule that city centre houses are MORE expensive than houses in the suburbs as they are more desirable. The fact that you can get a much bigger/better house for a lot less money is because of the area. Fewer people want to live there, for whatever reason. And from what you've said, fewer people want to live there because it's rough as fuck.

I live in a London and have brought up two children quite happily. Yes there is crime, yes we have more things happening than out in the suburbs but I wouldn't swap it for the world. We have good friends, nice schools, loads to do on our doorstep and wonderful parks. I have never been frightened going out or letting my children go out when they were teenagers, you just have to be safety aware. My daughter has just finished a Masters degree in Bristol and never felt worried or threatened going out in the evening. If your area and house is everything you wanted, perhaps ask parents at the schools or your neighbours how they deal with their worries?

I think things will be ok, we live in a big house in a city centre, in the last three years there has been 2 murders, and 4 serious stabbings, all drug related and all within 50m of our front door. So apart from coming home to a police officer on our doorstep it really doesn't affect us. We shut our front door at night and we still go to the shops after 8pm, all of the crime is drug related and the chance of getting caught up in it is low so for us it is worth the proximity and large house.

As crazy as my neighbours were, they wouldn't have ever hurt a stranger

But these standings are unlikely to have been committed on some random pedestrian by a stranger. I’d put this months salary in it being drug related. So unless your DP starts running a line for the local gangs he’s as likely to be a target as anyone in the suburbs

The risk you DO take is unless the drug gangs move on before your DC go to high school is them getting in with this sort of crowd. Especially if you have boys. Being able to ‘earn’ £4-500 a week as a 14 YO for ‘delivering a few parcels’ could tempt middle class kids as easily as working class. What are the high schools like in the area?

Perhaps neither area suits you.

Stabbings, even

I live in Bristol (for over a decade) and know it well. I have lived in the inner city, in high crime and low crime areas and now live more in the suburbs (not that far from fishponds actually). To me it sounds like you’ve been a bit unlucky. While I have observed and experienced crime in Bristol it’s been nothing like what you’re describing. I would be very happy to walk around fishponds at night taking usual sensible precautions. To my understanding most of the serious violent crime is related to Gangs and drugs rather than random attacks on strangers. I am a bit surprised that you have been able to buy so much more for your money. We moved out from the centre to the suburbs to get more for our money and property in Bristol does generally get more expensive the more central you are (although obviously some areas more so than others). I’d be curious to know where you lived before.

well, not that this is the slightest consolation, but Fishponds was a shite hole 30 years ago and it seems nothing has changed, so don't hold your breath for gentrification!

It does seem as if PP are right about the stabbings, even from a quick google.

Maybe give yourself some sort of time limit and if you feel the same in a couple of years or when the children have to move schools, review and move on.

I know the area as I used to volunteer there and I agree it is probably ripe for gentrification but I wouldn’t have chosen it with small children. That was a while ago and obviously things change but it is quite telling you got a 3 bed instead of a 2 in suburbia for your money. Where we you before? Did you look at some of the more traditional areas of the city for families?

I don't know too much about Bristol, I have been there many times during the day and always thought it was a lovely place.

But I met a teacher in my local area and he had just moved from Bristol because he didn't want his DC to go to the school he worked in (secondary), I was amazed with the stories he told me about what went on there. He told me all the DC had to walk through a metal detector to go into school and they have sniffer dogs in 3 times a week. He said all the secondaries in Bristol are like this! .

I was really surprised because I had always thought that Bristol was a really nice area.

Then a friends DC went to Bristol Uni and at Halloween in his first year he was in a pub with friends and a random man came up and punched him in the face and broke his jaw. The attacker said at the trail that he had never seen him before and didn't know why he attacked him, he was just drunk.

It’s a bad thing but it’s also likely that stabbing are not random and related to drugs/gangs. These may mean that things will move on, and it does mean you’re in no more danger than the suburbs.

I grew up in an area that had a rep, but the street itself was fine. The houses now go for loads more than we bought for. It was fine. We played out, played in the park, and I just was more alert after dark when a young teenager.

I get the problem with feel though. We live in another area with not so great a rep, but the streets are quiet and feel safe. I walked round here after dark when we were putting an offer in on the house. I’d stick it out. You’ll get used to it, and things will change. Get to know your neighbours and engage with community activity. It helps to feel safer, and contributes to others feeling safe too.

OP I also live in Bristol, Longwell Green.

Weirdly I do think Fishponds is a bit hit and miss and definitely seems completely different after dark - I wonder if its because its a bit of a 'through' route into town and some other more unsavoury areas. I have a friend who lives there and he is always posting videos of crashed cars on his road, police gathering etc.

How young are your children? I think give it a few years and things will improve.

I think as a whole Bristol is wildly different from area to area.

I have a great fondness for the area you're in OP, we used to live there. Yes, the houses have increased in value due to some improvements in the area and the new Steiner school, but I'm not sure it will ever become 'gentrified'!

Obviously a very serious incident for it all to still be closed down this morning. Hope all calms down very soon.

I agree with Goldenhedgehogs. I used to live in a high crime area, but the crime was mostly drug and gang related so it didn't affect me personally. Muggings and burglaries also happened, so had to be careful about security, but I was never scared going out at night. I don't think you need to worry about going out at night unless there are a very high number of muggings or random attacks?

OP, I think your problem is that you have never lived in an inner city area. I lived in one for 10 years and I loved it. My DH lived in one too and loved it. But now we live in a suburb and could not move back - we are too used to the quiet. If we had never moved out, we would happily still be living in the very trendy inner city area, with posh brunch and great schools and loads of crime.

Family members still live in the city and they are unperturbed by the crime, as were we when we lived there.

I think it is very hard to move into an inner city area once you have DC, just as it is hard for some people to move to the suburbs. Your DC will get use to this - you may not. And BTW, the only way you get the fab house in an inner city area is to move to a not so nice inner city area.

@stiltonontoast strange! We've just moved from near Longwell Green (Cadbury Heath.) We sold our two bed for 210,000 and bought this massive three bed for 270,000 but the same house in Longwell Green would have been 350,000!

@Jackfruitburger AH ok, we're not far from Cadbury heath, although you can definitely tell when you've crossed into Oldland or Cadbury Heath from Longwell green I think! I can understand why you moved, it does feel pretty boring and soul-less round here I think.

We're going to start looking at houses soon and want a 3 bed somewhere a bit more interesting, we're considering Wick and maybe even outskirts of Bath. I'd go with Emersons Green as well but figure that might be similar to where we are now.

It seems a mistake move, to me

I have lived in cities most of my life, and cannot imagine what it feels like to go out after dark, and not feel scared

When we move, it will be in the opposite direction

You get used to it.

When we first moved to an inner London suburb I was nervous, anxious about going out at night etc, checking my locks.

But actually, it was a really friendly place with such a sense of community. People would help each other, say hello in the street.

Yes, there were some robberies, the occasional stabbing and once a dead body in the park, but if you were sensible (I would have walked down the street at 2am waving cash about but would have happily walked to get milk at 10pm) then you should be fine.

We've subsequently moved to a naice super safe countryside area and I so miss the city.

My two dds are at university in Bristol and feel completely safe. OP, you will get used to the area and there is crime everywhere, but most of it involves a small area and you would be very unlucky to encounter it going about your business.