Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that we've made a mistake by moving

71 replies

Jackfruitburger · 09/10/2018 23:25

We live in a big city in the UK. In August we moved from the suburbs to the inner city. I wanted to be closer to the good primary schools, closer to our jobs in the city and closer to a lot of the activities that we ended up travelling to every weekend. I just wanted something different to what I had growing up, which was the feeling that everything was always going on 'elsewhere.'
We had crime in our area but it was more domestic violence. We had to call the police on three separate neighbours after they brawled in the street with friends, family and partners. However I always felt safe walking through my neighbourhood, and never worried for my partners safety if he was out at night. We could walk to the cash point in the evening if we needed to.
In our new house it's different. Tonight there has been three stabbings in our area, one on our road. Last week the whole street was cordoned off for a stolen car and someone resisting arrest. I feel like we're trapped in our house in the evenings and I worry if dp goes to the corner shop for milk after 8pm. I can't imagine how much I'll worry if my dc's want go out when they're older.
We love our house, the kids school, preschool and the mums are so friendly. I just feel so saddened by the crime on our doorstep and the feeling that our perfect house might be a perfect prison.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jackfruitburger · 10/10/2018 01:25

@Aintnothingbutaheartache but during the day it's anything but a shithole. Think Victorian houses, bay windows, organic veg shops etc. It seems to be that crime is played out here by people who may not live here. I can only hope it's a blip, long term residents say it's not usually this bad. Hope that there's a few more bobbies out and about after dark.

OP posts:
willstarttomorrow · 10/10/2018 01:28

OP, take a deep breath. Are you prepared to say which city you live in? I live in a big city and have always lived inner city here. The perception people have of these areas are always from people who have never lived there. What you describe sounds horrible but has this been happening over a long period of time or have you somehow moved during a very unfortunate time frame? Friends in the suburbs experience more crime than we do (although usually this is burglary/drugs) and do not have the close knit community I love. Also crimes like stabbing, whilst frightening, tend to be targeted. I feel far safer in the inner-city than I would in a suburb. People tend to get to know each other and there are more people out and about just getting on with life. It will probably be okay, you need to decide to stay and embrace the area for the reasons you moved or head back to surburbia. Unless there is a real risk to your children growing up in that area they will do far better with all a city has to offer than living in boringville (as I was as a child who was moved to a bloody commuter town and has since gone on to work with teenagers).

Singlenotsingle · 10/10/2018 01:29

You'll just have to get used to staying in at night, won't you? The DC won't be happy with that once they get to be teenagers, but maybe things will be better by then.

Original poster
Jackfruitburger · 10/10/2018 01:29

@Eastie77 I already feel a loyalty to this area. Like I've said before, where I come from wasn't perfect. In fact it was a lot more depressing as it was an area that was once prosperous but had become a shit hole. Very few job opportunities, very little ambition for the future generations. I used to travel to other parts for festivals, poetry readings in the park, outdoor yoga and think 'why can't we have this where I live?' We have all that where I am now, and people who care about their surroundings so I'm optimistic things will change.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 10/10/2018 01:33

I've only been to Bristol once, but it seemed very nice. Our hotel was near those trendy redeveloped docks.

Monty27 · 10/10/2018 01:35

It might be a little group of gits that got moved on from elsewhere. It happened here for a bit. They got moved on by the police. All of our neighbours are lovely.
I seriously wish you and your family all best.
You have to learn to be street wise I guess. Eyes in the back of your head and hang on to the good bits. Your house is probably my dream home. As more people like you move.in it will get better.Flowers

SoManyConkers · 10/10/2018 01:36

Blimey, I'm near the centre of Bristol and not heard about any recent stabbings!!

Makes you wonder how much doesn't make the local news Confused

I would not be happy in that environment- what area are you in?! I wouldn't consider Bristol a dangerous city, there are some less desirable parts like any city but I'd move if you're not comfortable. You house should be your safe place!

Monty27 · 10/10/2018 01:37

OP you will probably find local groups on Facebook etc Smile

SoManyConkers · 10/10/2018 01:44

Can't see any reports of recent stabbings in the news - surely random attacks on strangers would be reported as that's very unusual?! When did this happen??

Eastie77 · 10/10/2018 01:48

Ok if you are optimistic things will improve that's good. In your first post you said you were worried you'd be a prisoner in the house which didn't sound great!

To be honest I think it's more likely you will eventually get used to the situation and adapt rather than the crime rate falling dramatically. In my personal experience gentrification has improved my area (although it has negatively impacted poorer people who have been driven out) but crime remains stubbornly high.

We have expensive scotch eggs here too although smashed avocado on an inadequate piece of toast for £10 still seems to be a firm favourite.

Monty27 · 10/10/2018 01:54

Omg eastie that made me smile Smile
All of what you said and some Wink
9.50 for an inadequate pizza from a take AWAY Van with barely any toppings and don't start me about the coffee barista vans in the parks Grin

sproutsplease · 10/10/2018 01:59

I think that is the problem with up and coming areas that you know are likely to gentrify, you have to live in them while they do it. DH and I knew that buying in Straford would make sense pre the Olympics but we couldn't face having to live there while it improved! You have done the hard bit and now you just need to see it through.

PatPhelansRedVan · 10/10/2018 02:06

Loads of stuff doesn't get reported

sproutsplease · 10/10/2018 02:17

Jeez, I really need an edit button, Stratford.

MsPavlichenko · 10/10/2018 02:18

So domestic violence is better as they don't hurt strangers? Just women in the main . And murder them too at an alarming rate.

Christ on a bike.

Monty27 · 10/10/2018 05:26

It's all about the schools. Go figure.

Original poster
Jackfruitburger · 10/10/2018 08:12

@conkers it was on the Bristol Evening Post website, I live in Fishponds.

OP posts:
BiscuitsAndGravy · 10/10/2018 08:21

I live in a tiny village and last year we had a brutal stabbing/murder down the road that shocked our community. It was not normal but crazy people can live anywhere. It is unfortunate that a spate of crime has arisen in your area but if you've checked the stats and it's abnormal, then all you can do is be more alert and hope things settle down soon.

IABURQO · 10/10/2018 08:21

£15 for a Scotch egg and £10 for avocado on toast? That's some seriously wild pricing!

misses point of thread

BiscuitsAndGravy · 10/10/2018 08:22

Also in my village it costs £2 for a massive, beautiful scotch egg from the local butcher. Grin

SuburbanRhonda · 10/10/2018 08:28

Hope that there's a few more bobbies out and about after dark.

Perhaps you should have moved back to the 1950s instead, OP Grin

ivykaty44 · 10/10/2018 08:32

The scot egg in Manchester has black pudding - seriously adulterated food but delicious 😋

HemanOrSheRa · 10/10/2018 08:35

Ah I thought it was Fishponds OP. Aren't the Police thinking that the incidents are linked? So whilst absolutely awful for you, maybe an isolated problem? I think you've been Very unlucky in that area recently - there seems to have been a spate of incidents involving cars and roads being closed etc.

CaptSkippy · 10/10/2018 08:38
Flowers

I would not have expected that from any city in the UK, except maybe some dodgy neighborhoods in London. But then again, I am an outisder looking in.

I'd say give it another 6 months, especially if the neighborhoods also say that this is not normal. If you still feel trapped then sell and move to a better suburb than you were in before.

SoManyConkers · 10/10/2018 08:39

jackfruit I'll have a look for that then! I know fishponds well as have family there Smile. I would say generally safe area but can be bit unsavoury on Fishponds Rd towards town (OH lived there years ago) - think probably bad luck and good family area so would give it a bit of time. Completely understand concern though with those events Confused

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.