To be totally fed up of swimming lessons

[User97532468]

Both DC have had weekly swimming lessons since a couple of months old. DS1 was really good and by 3.5 he was swimming without aids and had his 20m badge. At 4 he got fed up and stopped trying or was just not being challenged enough. We changed pool to a smaller group and he seemed to improve but then went backwards again. Had another recent change of teacher and pool and again little progress, he is however now loving swimming again.

DS2 has never been confident but is making good but slow progress.

The thing is I’m just so fed up of it all. The lessons aren’t cheap and whilst I do believe swimming is an important life skill why is it taking so bloody long to get them to a point where I think right we can stop lessons now and just take them on our own.

So I guess I’m wanting opinions on when you stopped or when will you stop swimming lessons? Also what is the best way of getting them to a decent safe levels without spending however many more years doing the weekly lessons?

He is a skinny boy and definitely having problems floating - which means that he (and the other boy in the class who also has similar problems) are learning much more slowly than the girls in the class

It’s because he doesn’t have much body fat. It’s a common problem with young boys

Tbh op I’d be concerned if a 3.5 year old was doing 20 meters. He may have been doing the distance but I’m sure his style was well off which would have resulted in him struggling as he advanced.

I taught for over 15 years. Swimming lessons are not cheap but your paying for a skill to be taught. The box ticking is making sure they reach their ‘mile stones’ before they can can progress. If they can’t do something fundamental they will struggle later on.

With regards to fly - we have to teach it. If the pool is going by the ASA guidelines they all four disciplines have to be taught.

If you were taking up a martial art - you wouldn’t expect just to learn how to punch. You learn the whole discipline. That’s what you are paying for.

And yes - smaller width learning correct technique is far better than pounding lengths out in bad style, as it physically drains you swimming inefficiently.

If you want your child to be able to just get themselves out of danger then teach them yourself.

bert you probably won’t get the ‘lifeskill’ thing until you pull a drowning person out of the water. I have. It’s actually really horrific and so preventable.

I would just add - if it was was safety sake you pay for lessons 1-2-1 is much better so you can tell the teacher what is needed

“bert you probably won’t get the ‘lifeskill’ thing until you pull a drowning person out of the water. I have. It’s actually really horrific and so preventable.”

How is being able to do butterfly stroke going to prevent drowning?

DC have both had lessons since they were 3 months old. I’m a keen (cross channel) swimmer and I took them to swimming lessons like other parents took their DC to monkey music or baby sensory. I was under no illusions that they were learning to swim but we enjoyed it.

They are now 9 and 6 and both still have weekly lessons. 9 yr old DS also attends my open water swim club (who teach life saving) and also his school swim squad sessions for whom he competes - in butterfly.

Frankly, if I’m paying for swimming lessons, I expect them to teach all 4 strokes - that’s what I’m paying for. I’d be pretty annoyed if they skipped butterfly, it’s a technical stroke and requires a good teacher to explain it.

My half brother and sister (both now in their mid teens) had no lessons till they were 5 or 6. They went for fun before then.
Both now swim for their counties and have had trials higher up than that.
My sister's kids started lessons last year age 8, 6 and 4. None of them could swim.
Within 4 months all of them could swim and her eldest 2 have now got their mile badges.
I have a friend who spends £15 per child on lessons for her 2 kids under age 2 and I can't help bit think she's wasting a lot of money! My ds is almost 3 and loves water as we regularly go to an inflatable session on a weekend. I plan on him starting lessons when he's around 4.

Urghhh I have today spent the 5th week watching my 5yo son walk the width of the pool and back X times in his group lesson. Wish we could afford 1-2-1.

So what is is? Essential life skill, or competitive sport?

For me, it is a skill that then opens up loads more possibilities - like driving.
Because they were happy in water, and strong swimmers, my dc, in their teens have been able to:
kayak
surf
stand up paddle board
pioneer over water
do triathlon
do water polo
row
sail (different categories)
canoe
go rafting
river walking
water parks
inflatable runs on water
pool parites
go off swimming on their own, without adults (in local baths at home, when just finding their 'social' feet as 10, 11, 12 yr olds)
go off swimming on holidays

and probably other things I've forgotten. They'd have missed out on SO much if they'd not been able to confidently swim

Plus, in their cases, earning through 6th form and university as lifeguards - far better money and far more flexibility than most work U18s can get.

But you don't need years of expensive swimming lessons as a toddler in order to be a strong swimmer as a teenager!

Yes, being able to swim is ace but you can give it a rest and conserve cash for when they are about 6 and spend on 1-2-1 lessons. The school may have swimming lessons by then which can supplement.

Just concentrate on having fun in the water at this point and building confidence in the water - sounds like they will fine and still be strong swimmers as teens.

No, I agree Bertrand - I did say that in my first reply. No advantage to take them to swimming lessons under the age of about 4, but I was replying to your question which I read as asking what was the point of learning to swim. I apologise if I misinterpreted the question.

They teach kids butterfly in case they want to go on to be a competitive swimmers I guess, which they can do from eight if they want. Not all will, but not all kids who do Ballet will become ballerinas. I swam competitively when I was little and loved Fly, it was my racing stroke. It carried extra kudos because it was hard. Like, I dunno, running a half marathon? (Some people don't see the point in that...)

For me, swimming is an essential life skills/competitive sport and it opens doors to all the water sports mentioned above. it's also great exercise and good for kids with asthma.

That said, I didn't send my kids til they were 4 and we don't go much at weekends! I do plan to send my kids til they are teenagers though, in whatever form. Maybe if they get fed up of lessons or don't want to do club I'll them another water sport.

I've found a local swimming pool that teaches life saving skills, not butterfly. I think we might be moving pools.

There's definitely a need for health and life saving swimming classes, get them to a decent level of crawl and breaststroke then rookie life saving skills.
£3k over the years and my kids can't even tread water. But they can do a length of butterfly .

Agree with @BertrandRussell I think I'm the only parent not spending £20+ per week on each child & lessons. Surely this is only a necessary life skill in last 20 years or so? Maybe because we had very little money but nobody I knew as a child had swimming lessons outside of the school lessons.

Ds is nearly 9 & has had one lesson as friends were on hols so he took it. I would resent the time, money & effort I'd put in if we'd been able to afford lessons & sucked into it since they were 5. Agree it's useful to be able to swim but not at the cost-I'm a crap swimmer & I cope

Schools don't do the same amount of swimming they used to.

Mine have had either a half a year once a week or three-week block - 15 lessons which haven't been enough to get them swimming.

We took them swimming but they've never wanted to learn from us they want to play.

First lot of lesson we tried were useless - then we move and they've got all the children all swimming in about two years.

However, my youngest two have been stuck waiting for ticks on obscure things like butterfly for two whole block - £55 per block per child. One went up recently - and the reception said the teacher had been waiting for a space in next level with no reference to me that we’d be interested.

The other keeps being told its perfect but not getting the tick to move up.

Spoke to someone who move up last block – they were told the same. So it looks like I’ve spent over £200 waiting for spaces in next level.

If they’d said or passed them I could have stopped and then restarted as it is this side of Christmas I can’t afford any more blocks and two of my three children are fed up with lack of progress and aren’t sure they want to restart when I can afford it.

I've done the lessons all the way through because life as a child who could barely thrash out a width of doggy paddle sucked being stuck down the shallow end, unable to access water slides, having a heavily restricted choice of activities on school camp. Learning to be a competant swimmer has opened up opportunities and 16 was still young enough to make a difference. Swimming and aqua-aerobics were so important at times when I've struggled with mobility.

I don't regret the pre-school swimming. The poorest value for me has been around age 4-6 where progress is slowest and the DCs are tired from school, but at £18 per month and the DCs happy to go, I've been happy to maintain the continuity. Even if ticking off the criteria is painfully slow, it's fun, it's exercise and it's good for co-ordination particularly when DS1 is showing signs of dyslexia, sensory issues, possibly dyspraxia type issues.

bert I think your purposely being obtuse.

Learning how to swim is a life skill. People drown and die. Through my years of teaching I’ve pulled many people out of the water. It really is disturbing.

Swimming lessons always teach the whole decipline because we have to. Just because you don’t see the need for fly - many children enjoy the challenge. Like I said up post you wouldn’t join a martial art class just to learn to learn how to punch - you learn the whole decipline - and why wouldn’t you? Also a some of these kids will go on to club swimming to compete do they need a foundation in the skills

If it’s just for safety reasons only then parents should invest in 1-2– as you can give specific instruction on what you want to achieve

I just find the people that scoff at swimming lessons and not bother to teach their kids how to swim (and often admit they are shit themselves) bizzare frankly ..

For me swimming is important because of the obvious 'what would happen if they fell in a swimming pool' thing but also because I don't want my children to miss out on things as they get older.

As a teenager/ young adult every holiday I went on involved water/ swimming whether it was water parks, snorkelling or paddling in the North Sea! Even now there's almost always a pool when we go away and it's nice my daughter can now swim without one of us having to hold onto her!

I wouldn't want my children to feel they can't go on a group holiday as an 18 year old, or have to sit out or me worry because they're not strong swimmers and they might go snorkelling or something. Of course they may never to go swimming again but it's nice to have the choice.

“I just find the people that scoff at swimming lessons and not bother to teach their kids how to swim (and often admit they are shit themselves) bizzare frankly ..”

So do I.

“I wouldn't want my children to feel they can't go on a group holiday as an 18 year old, or have to sit out or me worry because they're not strong swimmers and they might go snorkelling or something.“

And how is this remotely connected with swimming lessons at 4?

Sorry Bert, I was responding to the 'I don't get the life skill' bit. I think kids should do lessons when it's right for them. My daughter does lessons at 4 because she wanted to and enjoys it. Not through necessity.

I took mine swimming from when they were babies - about 4 months old. There was a warm, shallow pool that was really quiet in the early afternoons and we'd just have a nice time in the water. I kept going with them as they got older, so they were always used to being in the water, never used any armbands and they both swam doggy paddle from a very young age. I loved doing it with them, they are some of the happiest times, just relaxing and having fun in the water together.

Once they got to school they did lessons with the school and learnt the proper techniques for the various strokes and they are both like a pair of dolphins in the water.

It amazes me how stressful some people make learning to swim, when it should be relaxing and enjoyable. Most kids are not going to be olympic swimmers, they just need to be competent and not afraid.

And how is this remotely connected with swimming lessons at 4?

1. why wait?
2. because it’s fun
3. fantastic exercise
4. it’s actually easier to pick the skill up

I taught my kids a basic level of swimming skill as they few lessons they had they hated. Then they did the lessons in y4 through school and passed the required level-not the best but sufficient. They’re now 12&13 and there’s no difference between them and cousins of the same age who had endless lessons costing a fortune. Yes perhaps if they swam several lengths the difference would show but that’s not something they’re interested in. I’ll do the same with my dd who would also hate lessons and loves the water with her family around her.

Nerrsnerr- I don’t get the “life skill” bit.

How often has it happened that a child has drowned who wouldn’t have drowned if they could do the sort of swimming you do in a warm, well lit pool in swimming things? And weigh that against how many times a child has drowned because their parents relaxed vigilance because they could swim? Obviously I don’t have any data, but anecdotally, from a lot of involvement in water based activities , parents set a lot of store by children being able to swim without thinking about what that means in practice. Our pool used to do a thing called Waterproofing, which involved teaching children to float, to tread water and how to turn and grab the edge if they fell into water. Now that’s useful.