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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be totally fed up of swimming lessons

113 replies

User97532468 · 09/10/2018 22:57

Both DC have had weekly swimming lessons since a couple of months old. DS1 was really good and by 3.5 he was swimming without aids and had his 20m badge. At 4 he got fed up and stopped trying or was just not being challenged enough. We changed pool to a smaller group and he seemed to improve but then went backwards again. Had another recent change of teacher and pool and again little progress, he is however now loving swimming again.

DS2 has never been confident but is making good but slow progress.

The thing is I’m just so fed up of it all. The lessons aren’t cheap and whilst I do believe swimming is an important life skill why is it taking so bloody long to get them to a point where I think right we can stop lessons now and just take them on our own.

So I guess I’m wanting opinions on when you stopped or when will you stop swimming lessons? Also what is the best way of getting them to a decent safe levels without spending however many more years doing the weekly lessons?

OP posts:

Kokeshi123 · 10/10/2018 07:51

Children’s swimming lessons- the greatest scam since bottled water.

I wouldn't.... quite go so far as to say that, but I really don't get the whole middle class "thing" of spending Christ knows how much money on years and years of lessons for a kid who can already basically swim.

Shaboohshoobah1 · 10/10/2018 07:57

My youngest didn’t have lessons til she was almost 8 - we just took her to the pool once a week and she played with her sister and learned ‘organically’ - she then said she wanted lessons and was the oldest there (most of the others were 5) but that was 2 years ago and now she swims for the county. So you don’t HAVE to do lessons when they are young as long as you take them (I know you said you hate it - so did I - but it was much, much cheaper) I just waited til she actually wanted to go and it’s all worked out really well.

TeenTimesTwo · 10/10/2018 07:58

So they are having swimming lessons weekly but no 'fun' swimming in between?

I think that is a bit pointless. A bit like learning the piano, turning up for the lesson and no practicing in between. Not quite as bad, but similar iyswim?

How old are they and what can they actually do? I don't think you have said.

AgentJohnson · 10/10/2018 08:00

I knew the swimming pool where DD got all her diplomas was a good one when I overheard an instructor say to a parent that they should give swimming a break until their childwas were older and stronger.

DD was late, she got all her diplomas in eight months when she was ten (personally too late for my liking) but she was ready and therefore sailed through anything they threw at her. Her best friend’s little brother was like a duck to water at six and is now combining surfing and survival swimming..

Every child has their own tempo.

Satsumaeater · 10/10/2018 08:01

I think it's true what a pp said about boys struggling more (and I guess on the whole, they do mess around more, too).

My ds started swimming around Easter of his school reception year so he was approaching 5.5 years old by then. They recommend that you continue having lessons until they have got stage 5, but preferably stage 7. He had fits and starts of progress - he spent one year on the same stage and I ended up being "that parent" and asking the coordinator if he could move up because he was being left behind by his peers and she agreed. He was fine in the group he moved to and actually moved up again after a term - so sometimes it's just the teacher and not the child. In terms of the stage 5/7 thing, he said he wanted to stop at one point but I said I'd like him to get to stage 5 and then he could - but now he really enjoys it as a leisure activity and has done everything up to honours. He still swims once a week at teenfit so I have spent £1000s over the years. He's 16 next month, so 11 years of swimming lessons! And he did a couple of intensive holiday courses too ;)

They didn't put too much emphasis on butterfly until fairly recently - the pool was taken over by a private company and they insist on it, whereas the local authority didn't. So I have to do butterfly in my lessons (more coached sessions) too! Fortunately not that much.

Satsumaeater · 10/10/2018 08:02

I forgot to say - if you are interested in personal survival look for a pool that offers SEAL awards.

When they are older and stronger swimmers you could look at Rookie lifeguard too.

MyBrexitGoesOnHoliday · 10/10/2018 08:05

Ah ah I hope for yu that Dc1 won’t decide he absolutely LOVES swimming so much so he is joining a swimming club.
I ended up doing exactly what you said until Dc1 was 11yo (and the wanted to do competitive swimming with a 5.30am session and I said NO)

roundaboutthetown · 10/10/2018 08:16

1-1 swimming lessons are the way to go - group lessons are a huge waste of money and my ds1 had no intention whatsoever of learning how to swim with me, or learning "for fun." He loathed water as a baby and small child, hated getting water in his face, insisted on a wetsuit to keep warm before getting in an already warm swimming pool... An exceptionally tall swimming teacher (he felt safe with someone who could touch the bottom of the pool its entire length...) cured him of all this and got him to the point of being able to swim well and enjoy it, tread water, dive in, etc, etc, so that we couldm ultimately swim for fun as a family.

ConciseandNice · 10/10/2018 08:23

I managed to get a Groupon for 1-to-1 for my son who was terrified of water. Both he and his brother had been through years of mediocre group lessons. A child shouldn’t still be wearing arm bands after years!! It’s absurd. They can’t perfect any stroke wearing armbands! My son had 5 lessons privately. At the 3rd he was happily doing lengths at the finish he had technique and was speeding along, happy as anything. He was elated. It was the best money I have ever spent. I cancelled the lessons of his brother much earlier as he wasn’t improving either and taught him myself then sent him to stroke development sessions at our local pool one evening a week. Cheaper and more effective. I think large group classes can be farcical without the right teacher. Arm bands for years!! Ludicrous!

FruitofAutumn · 10/10/2018 08:26

I think the guidance now is to tell peope to roll onto their backs and float in a survival situation.
There's a bi difference between swimming up and down a warm pool to falling overboard fullyclothed in freezing choppy waters.

Mustang27 · 10/10/2018 08:28

They are both so little I'd give them & you a breather for 6 months to a year. Save the money you would spend and just take them swimming for fun once a week if you can find a pool with a bearable temp.

Honestly swimming is such an important life skill for so many reasons, fitness and social aspects is right up there and as an adult who was never taught Iv missed out a lot of times.

However if it's making you all miserable right now take some serious time off, hobbies and interests really should bring a degree of joy. You all sound exasperated.

Glitteryfrog · 10/10/2018 08:34

As an adult who is an adequate swimmer married to an ex-county swimmer...
I would honestly go for confidence and ability to swim a few lengths non stop.
Being able to do a beautiful front crawl has given DH an advantage over my wonky breaststroke in very few situations.

But we've been surfing, sea kayaking, played in the sea, swim in lakes etc.

FruitofAutumn · 10/10/2018 08:46

If you want your dc to swim there are loads of instructional videos on youtube- teach them yourself-

NerrSnerr · 10/10/2018 08:52

I think the baby swimming lessons are fine if you want them as an activity or way to meet other parents, I don't think it helps teach a child how to swim though. We didn't bother and just took ours swimming from a young age as we did other groups.

My daughter was desperate to start lessons so we started from age 3 and she now swimming after 3 terms of lessons. It was more about confidence for her though and we'll stick with it because she loves it.

ileclerc · 10/10/2018 08:59

We go swimming together for half an hour before dts lessons so they gets some fun time. They have been stuck on stage 5 for almost a year though because of bloody butterfly. The ASA website says they should get through three stages a year. I don't know anyone with kids in lessons in any pool who has gone through three stages in a year.

Babyblade · 10/10/2018 09:01

If anyone wants to mix it up a bit consider looking for a local Synchronised Swimming club - it's for boys and girls and is a great way for kids to gain stamina, core strength and flexibility ... and they're great at treading water (aka Eggbeater) - and their stroke technique is beautiful!

Clubs tend to start at about 8 yrs old and when kids can swim 50 metres confidently. It's hard work but they love it and it's so much more fun than race training - up and down endless lengths! OP - I feel your pain.

My DD is 11 and started 2 yrs ago and ADORES it. Best move ever - she was getting bored of the endless swim lessons and lengths.

KingLooieCatz · 10/10/2018 09:04

We packed in the lessons after trying various permutations. I asked myself what I was paying hundreds of pounds for when DS was neither improving nor enjoying it. I just took him to the pool at the weekend for an hour and within a few weeks he mastered a couple of techniques that he hadn't managed in the lessons.

When he did 1:1's they were more effective. Ruinously expensive but worth it if they make progress in a fraction of the time.

He first enjoyed being in the pool and got some independence in the water by going in the "lazy river" with a pool noodle. We just went round and round until he didn't want me holding him anymore. It was miraculous seeing him actually enjoy being in the pool, after weeks of grizzling about going. He'd come to hate swimming and I had to make it fun for a few months to get past that.

seventhgonickname · 10/10/2018 14:03

It's now my dds choice of exercise now as she can just do lengths on her own.
She went to lessons from 4 to12,did life saving and then there is nothing for them.
Why do playground and pools have nothing for teens to help them keep fit.

Satsumaeater · 10/10/2018 14:08

I'd love to try Synchronised Swimming but I don't think they offer it for adults anywhere.

BrokenWing · 10/10/2018 14:34

One of my children ended up with a few weeks of 1:1 lessons when the other children didn’t turn up and he did amazing, it’s 3 times the cost though for them to have the 1:1 which we just don’t have.

Seriously 1-2-1 is the best answer and saves everyone years of frustration and in the long run costs less. I would cancel the youngest swimming lessons completely to free up some cash, then get the oldest in 1-2-1 lessons for 6 months, once they are done get the youngest in 1-2-1 for 6 months and the oldest can go in and practice themselves when the younger one is learning.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 10/10/2018 16:44

So they are having swimming lessons weekly but no 'fun' swimming in between?

Yup, because lessons were a Saturday afternoon. I work 4 days and my day off is a Friday. So if I took them swimming on a Friday afternoon, the costumes were still wet/it didn't seem worth it doing the same activity two days running, and the same applies to taking them on a Sunday after their lesson. Plus as DD's ability has improved I actually feel less safe taking them on my own, because neither of them will wear armbands any more, but neither of them is exactly 100% safe either, so it has to be Sat/Sun with both adults.
Taking them on our own is much more fun and they do a lot of kamikaze leaping in at us.

Original poster

User97532468 · 10/10/2018 18:04

I totally get the point about needing fun swimming too but weekends are busy with church and football then parties etc and I work. When we do go fun swimming it’s for a few hours over about 4 consequetive days.

They are both slim so this could be part of The issue.

DS1 can swim a length but he isn’t very confident and his technique isn’t great. DS2 has only just lost the armbands but can do 10metres without now

I’ll have a good think about maybe doing a block of 1:1 for a few months then just taking them for a fun swim when having a rest then book more when we’ve saved up again.

OP posts:

ThistleAmore · 10/10/2018 18:13

I'm almost 40, admittedly no kids but I do think swimming is a life skill.

My mum taught us to swim - I can do crawl and stroke, dive well enough - but I don't swim for fun unless I'm on holiday. To me, it's a bit like being able to drive.

WHY do kids seemingly now have to learn butterfly? Is it not enough to be able to not drown if you fall off a boat/into a river?

MirriVan · 10/10/2018 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 10/10/2018 19:28

I don't get this "life skill" thing. It is for my kids because of our particular circumstances. But for most children, frankly, being able to swim isn't going to save them if the worry happens-unless the worst happens while they are wearing swimming things in a warm, clear perfectly still pool. And the cynical nature of the swimming lesson industry is shocking. Sold as a life saving skill-get parents in that way, spend months teaching them to swim at all. Then keep them there by convincing them that for some reason "technique" is a life skill, that they now need to know freestyle and fly and breast stroke.....and they are still there, dutifully paying up for years.

If the kids enjoy it then regard it as a fun activity.

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