to think my unborn baby is poorly?

[JemmaJau]

So far this pregnancy, I've had bleeding from the beginning, monitoring for a short cervix because I had precancerous cells which needed treatment last year, an anomaly on the 20 week scan, raised likelihood of chromosomal problems and issues such as CF and CMV, problems with the umbilical cord, small baby implying possible IUGR, up and down blood pressure...

So far, baby looks okay but is small. After everything above, I am SURE there is something wrong with the baby and don't want to give birth because I am expecting either a stillbirth or an issue that will be harmful to baby. I'm so scared.

AIBU to be utterly convinced my baby is poorly?

Being small doesn't necessarily mean anything. I was 2lb 12oz and am now fine. My twin sisters were 1lb something each. My other sister was 2lb something. We were all born at about 6 months nearly 30yrs ago. My first niece was 4lb 5 and my last niece was 4lb 3. Nieces are 5 and 1m.

I hope everything goes well for you & baby.

Anxiety is the bitch here.

I can relate as I had terrible anxiety during my pregnancy. Had IUGR, high Downs risk, low hormone levels, placenta previa, and gestational diabetes . Constantly thought something would go wrong. Didn't buy any clothes or pram as thought I might not need them. And yes read tragic articles with people saying "I knew something was wrong. Mummy knows best" which scared me shitless.

Baby was fine! Labour was quick.

But word of caution. My DD is now 6 months and I am still anxious. Have to constantly check her breathing and worry about rashes, bumps, movement etc. Pregnancy anxiety morphed into baby anxiety.

Anxiety is a bitch and desperately latches onto anything in order to survive. It's like an evil parasite seeking to grow. I am learning coping mechanisms in order to beat this bastard.

You are nearly there so follow medical advice and am sure things will be fine. As a pp said, ethnic minority babies can be smaller ( true for me and I was told to ignore the week readings on the ultrasound screen as they were tailored for Caucasian women). You should have a personalised growth chart which is monitored and if there is an issue medical professionals will act by inducing birth immediately.

Anxiety is a nasty bastard and treating that I think is the key.

Thanks everyone.

I've woken up this morning after spending the whole night crying with a red puffy face and the shakes. My anxiety is so bad, I don't know what do do. My midwife is on holiday and my GP has no appointments.

So sad this is my experience of pregnancy and just want it to be over. Thanks everyone for your support.

Jemma I haven't read all the responses but you're not unreasonable to feel this way.

My second child was a pregnancy after miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy and I was so so worried. At 20 week scan they said there was a kidney problem, 4 weeks later that was resolved but now they said brain anomaly, at 27 weeks they said that was borderline so not to worry for now but then said baby was small and talked aboit steroids incase born early. Had fortnightly scans till baby was born at 39 weeks 8lb 10oz! I was beyond myself with worry and convinced there would be something wrong but I am sitting here with a perfectly healthy 2 year old.

Please talk to your midwife mine was so good and understanding. Wishing you a safe delivery x

Jemmajau the CF testing is less accurate in non Europeans but CF is also much less common in non Europeans. My husband had a negative CF test (he’s non European) and he worked out with some very complicated probability sums that actually he would be really unlikely to carry the gene anyway because he’s non European and that coupled with the negative test made it even more unlikely.

As you can see from the above, we definitely over thought the whole thing. My attitude these days is to try my best to assume all is fine unless and until someone professional tells me it’s not. Otherwise you could worry about anything and everything. Definitely see the midwife though to see if she can help put your mind at rest so you can chill out for the rest of the pregnancy!

Just seeing your midwife is on holiday. It sounds like you really need some support, there must be another midwife covering or if not ring the head midwife who's number should be in your notes. X

I would be ringing the gp and asking for an emergency appointment and also ringing the midwife unit to see if there is someone else you can talk too.

Try not to dwell on this being your experience of pregnancy. Both my pregnancies were horrid (for different reasons) and I hated being pregnant, but in time, it is just a memory; a crap time but necessary.

It sounds like you need some support - can you speak to the senior midwife and say you need help?

Some people do seem sail through pregnancy, bloom happily throughout, then pop out a bouncing baby. This what everyone seems to take as the norm but lots of people have problems in pregnancy, worry all the time, and need to have interventions when it comes to the birth. (I was in this category, with all the trials and tribulations before that of 10 years TTC and four IVF cycles.) My DD had IUGR, I had pre-eclampsia, she had to be delivered by emergency c-section at 32 weeks... C-sections can be lovely experiences, by the way, as PPs have said - mine was, despite the medical problems.

The thing is, that once you have your baby in your arms, and as they grow up, the horrible pregnancy and birth experiences fade away, even thought they seem huge at the time.

Get some help, try to get lots of rest, and take things step by step if you can. Sort out the things you can deal with yourself, and try not to cross bridges before you come to them. Wishing you and your LO all the best.

How are you feeling now @jemmajau?