to think my unborn baby is poorly?

[JemmaJau]

So far this pregnancy, I've had bleeding from the beginning, monitoring for a short cervix because I had precancerous cells which needed treatment last year, an anomaly on the 20 week scan, raised likelihood of chromosomal problems and issues such as CF and CMV, problems with the umbilical cord, small baby implying possible IUGR, up and down blood pressure...

So far, baby looks okay but is small. After everything above, I am SURE there is something wrong with the baby and don't want to give birth because I am expecting either a stillbirth or an issue that will be harmful to baby. I'm so scared.

AIBU to be utterly convinced my baby is poorly?

[Queenofthestress]

I had two babies small, both less than 6 pounds. One is 5 & is over 3 ft tall and the other is just shy of 2 & is a lanky bugger as well. Both of them are clever, cheeky and absolutely perfect in every way. It might not feel like it now but you will be fine, you got this

[lljkk]

2-3 scans a week would make me anxious, too. Or bored & pissed off. Maybe pissed off is healthier.
How many weeks are you?

[Haworthia]

Oh, bless you I’m not surprised you’re going out of your mind - you’ve been given so many things to worry about. I wish I could give advice or reassure but I can’t. I think you need to allow yourself a moment each day to feel your feelings, because they’re normal, but also try to imagine a future with a healthy baby.

When are you due?

[SnuggyBuggy]

My poor DM went through a stage of daily scans with DSis. It was very stressful

[kaytee87]

No wonder you're worried with all of that going on
Could you ask to be referred to a consultant to discuss these worries. Explain they are making you feel very anxious and you don't want to be stressed out for the rest of your pregnancy.

[JemmaJau]

@lljkk definitely feeling the pissed-off-ness. I'm 36 weeks!

[JemmaJau]

@Haworthia due early November. Hoping I at least make it to the 1st!

[Harriedharriet]

Dearest JemmaJau. 7 years ago I was in the emotional place you are now. and remember it as one of the most frightening in my life. If I may suggest a few practical insights?
All the scans and monitoring is good. They are being vigilante. We like this.
Lets not think about "lovely births" and ideal situations. Lets concentrate on the most important thing of all - the safe delivery of your baby and you being well cared for. All else can be filed under "what ifs" and contemplated at a later date.
It is isolating and lonely to be in this situation. I was there and then some, but now have a very cheeky 8 year old who refuses to practice her piano and lost a tooth in an apple yesterday.
Once the baby is here, safe and sound, all else can be taken care of. Good luck op. I will be thinking of you.

[lljkk]

At 36 weeks if they thought that baby wasn't growing right they'd whip it out of you. I suspect all's well, just all the checks distorting your ability to know.

[TerracottaDream]

Insist on Caesarian so paediatrician is there immediately, this should reassure you.

[JemmaJau]

@TerracottaDream but why would I insist on c section when I don't necessarily need it? I would much rather avoid surgery if it's safe to do so.

[SnuggyBuggy]

You don't need to have a caesarean for paediatric input

[Yellowsunredroses]

A c section is much more preferable to a bad induced labour imo

[topsyanddim]

@yellowsunrefroses i Think trust your instinct. I don’t mean to worry you but generally mum is right about her baby

This is untrue. I worried all the way through my pregnancy, sometimes to unhealthy levels and nothing was wrong. It’s called anxiety

Also birth isn’t always shit

Op hope it all goes well for you

[lljkk]

Friend had 13 m/c b4 a successful pregnancy. She said she struggled to bond with the baby, struggled to think it was genuinely finally happening. (He's a strapping 15 yr old now). One day at a time. x

[Pitapotamus]

My first child had an echogenic bowel in 20 wk scan which remained for the rest of the pregnancy. I turned out to be a carrier for CF when tested as well which was a shock but luckily he is fine. We also had other issues, polyhydramnios towards the end and early pregnancy bleeding like you. He was born full term and healthy and is still healthy 6 years on!

I think it’s normal to be really anxious when put through all of that, the tests and the waiting and all the speculation. I struggled for months after he was born. Even now I worry more about him than my other children but for no reason, he is very healthy and happy.

I hope you have the same outcome.

[JemmaJau]

Oh I would much rather be induced. I really don't want surgery if I don't have to. That's just my preference.

[JemmaJau]

Thanks @Pitapotamus - sadly the CF testing isn't very accurate for me as I'm not European so is 60% accurate. Fingers crossed it's not that.

@topsyanddim thank you - skimmed past that post. Not helpful to tell someone that birth I always shit (my mum loved giving birth to me!) and to say that gut instinct is usually right! I suffer from GAD and my gut instinct is usually my anxiety making me think silly thoughts. Hopefully it's the same in this case...

[Graphista]

Totally understandable to be anxious under the circumstances, I had mc's before dd and a difficult pregnancy and birth but she's a great lump of mostly healthy 17 yr old now! Emcs not ideal but not awful either. It's what was necessary at the time. Personally I think the "glory" of a vaginal birth is often over stated. What matters is healthy mum and baby.

My grans pregnancy with one of my uncles (following a late mc of twins less than a year earlier) was problematic, he was low birthweight and struggled to breathe initially. He's now also a big lump in his 60's and robustly healthy!

But I'm wondering op given the history of mc too, have you been checked for APS?

[Mamathebest]

Really understandable that your anxious OP. I had an IUGR baby and generally if baby is showing very slow or no signs of growth towards the end of the pregnancy, staff tend to react quickly. If you are concerned then please speak to your consultant. DS had IUGR and I was induced at 36 weeks. He weighed 4 pound 11 and was perfectly healthy. Small babies can be surprising strong and we needed no extra hospital stay or interventions.

It can feel highly disappointing not having the birth you envisioned. But honestly the birth is such a small part of the bigger picture. I hope everything turns out ok for you.

[Mamathebest]

BTW OP, have staff given you a plan of what might happen for example early induction? Or are they happy for you to continue to full term? Getting a plan of what’s to come might help in some ways to get you prepared.

[nocoolnamesleft]

They have to check for the other stuff...but, apart from just one of those things, the next most common reason for echogenic bowel is swallowed blood. And you did mention you'd been bleeding. Fingers crossed that's all it is.

[babbscrabbs]

I had crippling pregnancy anxiety after some losses. It was fucking horrible. I was convinced something was very wrong or he wouldn't make it. I feel for you.

My baby was born at 37 weeks (naturally) which in hindsight I was grateful for because I think if it had gone to 42 weeks that would have been a very anxious time. So maybe induction or c section not a bad thing at all.

He's a wonderful, very funny, loving and chatty 2 year old now.

[voxnihili]

OP I was also extremely anxious in my pregnancy and convinced something would go wrong. It was so bad I couldn’t read any books about pregnancy or learn to use the things I’d bought. I was very detached from it all. I’d also had a previous miscarriage.

No problems were found with baby but a problem was discovered with me that could have been fatal for both of us. I was terrified. It also meant that my hopes for a water birth in the midwife led unit were gone. The birth was highly planned, with support from a number of hospital departments including ICU. A C section would have been a last resort as it was felt it was too risky for me. I’ve been asked a lot since if I felt I’d suffered trauma during the birth but it was fine - maybe it was my ability to remain detached from the situation.

PS - a friend of mine had 2 babies with IUGR - both were fine. Good luck.

[flumpybear]

So sorry @JemmaJau it's stressful anyway after miscarriages let alone when there have been other problems

Have you had a Downs test? Also if echo generic bowel is corrected now have they said it's fine?

You said you're not European - some races in general have smaller babies than others, have the hospital said anything about that?