To think I've outgrown my friends? And maybe should not continue?

[penny234]

I'm 33 and i have 2 friends one I've known 15 years and the other 5 years and the 3 of us are friends.
Both of these use cocaine on a night out.
I have never and would never touch any drugs (not trying to be mrs perfect but never seen the point) they've both said I'm the only friend who doesn't take it and actually tried to make it seem like I'm the one who isn't "normal"
She's just sent me a Snapchat at a kids show saying "think this guy is on the sniff"
This made me think ..god your pathetic.
The girl I've known 5 years,will drink herself to oblivion and falls over constantly on nights out,becomes aggressive and told me she urinated on someone's door stop after night out and was laughing about it.

I just don't find it funny,it's pathetic and I just don't feel like we have anything in common.
I'm meant to be on a night out on Saturday with them ...I really want to cancel and stay in and watch strictly.
I know I probably sound boring etc but I've found myself ignoring phone calls lately from them both.

Luckily my closest friend is exactly like me ..our nights out are either food then cinema or shopping days/spa days ..
We are just on the same wave length.
Known each other for 18 years .

You don’t need to make a decision, though? They are not insisting that you do any drugs or get wasted.

You sound like my kind of girl, OP. No way would I want the kind of nights out that involve coke.
But they might grow out of this and be worthwhile long-term friends.

Can you just make subtle excuses re nights out and instead invite them to the cinema/brunch? They won’t feel dumped but they’ll need to make other friends to party with.

You definitely need some new fun girlfriends who want to go out for some cocktails and dance etc without needing drugs or without getting totally obliterated and aggressive. Not sure who would enjoy a night like that to be honest! You are definitely not boring, but you do need to move on and find some more together, fun friends to socialise with.

Drop them or phase them out.
They are on their path and so be it.
Cancel Saturday, snuggle, cake and Strictly!

Jesus .... they would be much better off without you.

Yeah OP sounds like a real downer not taking drugs, getting aggressive and urinating on people's doorsteps is lame!

People grow apart and I think drugs are common in some circles and rare in others. I remember being quite shocked going to a friend’s hen do and lots of her other friends were totally high. It was a really odd combo as my group of friends had never seen the hen take drugs when she was with us and she wouldn’t have ever done it with us. With her other group of friends it was a major part of their social life.

YANBU. Stay in and watch Strictly. This happened to me once. I didn't fall out with my friends, just went arm's length because it wasn't my thing. A few years later and we are all good friends again.

My friends into that stuff while I'm not but I still love her and wouldn't judge her like this. It's her life!

Definitely wouldn't think she was pathetic. Maybe you just don't really like these girls anymore?

Yes, you've grown up. They're still stunted.
Don't worry - being a respectable and responsible adult is coming back into fashion again! So you're way ahead of them.

I used to have a couple of friends to try get me to try coke " just once"
I just told them, nope - my nose is a virgin, and it's going to stay that way!

(I think it may have also been out of fear that I'd really like it, but knew I could never afford it.
but... still. )

Yes, it sounds to me you've outgrown them.
And you're not boring. On the contrary, the drugged and drunken are the boring ones.
I do drink, but I don't get sozzled.

yanbu in making the decision to not go out with them anymore.