A Christmas AIBU thread

[BakeItLikeBeckham]

My SIL is in her late 40's, is single no DC and earns a very good salary. Every Christmas she expects an expensive present from us. She will say what she wants and expects us to get it for her. It is usually around £60, although before we had DC it was more than this. She buys my 2 DC presents and sometimes remembers their birthdays but she is by no means generous with them in any way.

Aside from parents, SIL is now the last adult we have to buy for. I do not buy any of the adults in my family (except parents) and I am getting sick of this. A couple of years back I just went ahead and bought her some consumables but she opened it and looked upset and annoyed and MIL said something really sarcastic about it.

I have cut back on Christmas quite a lot and made it more about tradition and good times. I've stopped sending cards and got the waste right down. It's not that I don't like her. Its just that we barely have a relationship with her so I don't see why I should have to buy her a present. Because she doesn't have a partner I feel that we are expected to spoil her when DH and I don't even buy each other presents. I totally begrudge the money I have to spend on her present. It seems like it is well I buy your DC so you owe me back. I would actually rather call it quits as in you don't buy my DC and we won't buy you but I don't think my MIL would like that.

Am I ever going to get out of this or am I stuck with buying for her into her 80's?

I think that if she buys presents for your kids then it's only fair to buy her something. However I wouldn't let her choose it and certainly wouldn't be spending that much. I think your best bet is to give her the cutting back speech and make sure she knows not to buy your kids anything.

I'm thinking the same as squirrel really. If she buys for the kids and she's the only single adult left in the family (is she DHs sister?) then just buy her a nice token present (something she likes but not £££) and just ignore the childish ''how much have you spent'' crap. And ask DH to have a word with his mum ...

In what way does she ask for specific gifts? Does she send you a message and tells you what to buy her or does she mention it in a conversation?

I cant believe people in their 50s have the cheek to ask for a certain christmas present from their DB & SIL!
Hell to the NO!

My DB is single, no kids. Now that our mum is in memory care if it weren't for us he'd get no gifts at all. That being said we're all adults so no kids to buy for and we put a limit on the amount spent so it's kept reasonable. We usually get/give kitchen gadgets (we all love cooking) or 'fancy' coffee (we all love coffee).

I think before you completely cut it off you might want to try to put a limit on the amount per gift. If she won't agree, then say no more gifts for her OR for you and your DC.

You do sound quite scroogey....

The sil is an entitled cow! Stop buying or set a limit!

We buy for adults without children, would feel really miserly not to.

In both mine and DHs family, we are the only ones without dc. To be honest I would be a little upset not to receive anything as we buy for dc and their parents (our siblings) BUT we don't demand anything, and don't expect anything much.

My suggestion would be to let MIL and SIL know that this year you're handing family present buying over to DH with a budget attached and leave it to him, with a stern word that if you're on the same team, he won't be parting with £60 of family money on a gift for her!

I think this is the time for one of those nice charity goats. She can hardly complain you have bought something for someone in need, especially at Christmas and all that.