To consider a private delivery of a baby to try and avoid the trauma I had last timev

[shouldidoitspoilt]

Would be a c section planned (hopefully?)
London
Is it worth the money?

I had a truly truly awful and terrifying pregnancy last time.

Should I do it?
It would involve some sacrifices to fund it

How much did you spend?

I had planned sections on the NHS and a planned section is a world away from an emergency one, also a world away from a traumatic vaginal delivery.

If it's at all an option, I'd have the section on the NHS and spend the money on postnatal care instead as that's where I found the care was severely lacking.

I had a planned c section for dc2 after having a traumatic birth with dc1. I got it on the nhs and I loved it, BUT if I could afford the best private care, I would. My c section was lovely, but my recovery in the ward was horrible. They just ignored me and I was desperate for help with feeding. I really needed it and also needed help with lifting my baby to feed him. But they were so, so busy there, they simply couldn’t help me. So yanbu. If I had the money, I would absolutely do this.

I had a dreadful first delivery which left me with a bad prolapse. I was terrified of another birth so hired an independent midwife who was brilliant. She did all my ante natal appointments at home, was qualified in hypno birthing so she also worked with me on that during my pregnancy. She then came with me to hospital and was my birth partner for a very smooth 2nd delivery. Highly recommended and cost about £3.5k

An option at some hospitals is to have an NHS section, then private postnatal care, which might work for you if finances are a concern.

I agree with Ewlts

I had a horrid CS first time after 5 days of fails induction. PPH, infection etc.

My planned CS was completely different - done in 40 mins, perfect scar, completely recovered in 8-12 weeks.

I’d rather keep the money for a private room afterwards and a night nanny/mother’s help in the following weeks.

I had a private mw for dc1. £3,500 and not worth it for me at all. Really not worth the money. I’d have benefitted a lot more from spending the money on postnatal care.

Why did you find that @stonebake? Just interested as had considered shelling out for a private midwife myself.

It sounds as though your trauma was more pregnancy related than labour? What is it about a planned section that would help you?
(I have had both a planned section and two vbacs. All three were traumatizing in very different ways, so no birth choice is really guaranteed to be problem-free...)

I had my first ELCS on the NHS and had a number of issues with the anaesthetist and with the post natal care. Recovery was ok.

My second ELCS was done privately in London and was worlds away from the first. Care was consistently excellent from start to finish (much better post natally) and my recovery was much better and easier.

If I were going to have another I'd do it privately for sure.

I'd feel more traumatised looking at the invoice afterwards, knowing I could of given birth for free on the NHS. Also after a c section you are buggered physically and there is FAR greater risk of something going wrong on a c section (in terms of in your life long term afterwards) than after a natural delivery. A c section should be an emergency option only.

pickup

Well, she did the same checks at antenatal appointments that I’d already had on nhs. She couldn’t do a sweep any earlier than the nhs could, as cervix wasn’t favourable etc, so I had that on the nhs too. I ended up being induced at an nhs hospital and she came and went during the very, very long labour but didn’t have much to do tbh. She was there for pushing stage, but I ended up with ventouse delivery, so she wasn’t there for the actual delivery in theatre, as only dh was allowed. She went home shortly after the birth and that’s when I really needed help. Dc1 and I ended up very poorly after we left hospital and had to go back in. But after that we were home again and I was utterly exhausted. I needed help then, not during labour when I actually had plenty of attention from the nhs staff.

The only reason I would use one in the future would be if I had a home birth. Which I’m not ‘allowed’ (I did ask for dc2). Yes I know I could have insisted but they said they would strongly advise against it.

For fully private your expenses fall into 5 categories:
Hospital package- just that, for the delivery and your subsequent stay, usually includes means. In London you’re looking at £7000 upwards for an ELCS with 3 night stay.
Consultant’s fees- this is the package your chosen consultant charges for your antenatal appointments, delivery, post natal check ups in hospital and 6 week check. Your consultant needs to be affiliated with your chosen hospital. Around £7000-8000.
Other pregnancy expenses- you need to pay for every ultrasound; £250+ each and you’ll have at least 3, blood tests, if your urine sample needs to be sent to the lab, any medication etc.
On the day fees- notably the anesthetist and a consultant paediatrician to do the new baby check. You can expect to pay about £1000-1500 each.
Any extras- I didn’t have any of these but things like if you’re not ready to go home and need to stay an extra night, if any complications require additional treatment etc.
I can’t remember the exact altogether cost but to give you a guide it was more than £15,000 but less than £20,000.

For me it was worth it, brilliant care with an experienced consultant, appointment times to suit me, no having to fight for an ELCS. Great aftercare with my own midwife. There’s no doubting that it’s extremely expensive though.

no having to fight for an ELCS

My consultant was more than happy to do an elcs for me. There was really no fighting at all. I was ready for a fight, but they immediately said yes. No to homebirth. Yes to cs. But then we had shoulder dystocia with dc1, so I think they were a bit concerned about that reoccurring, so cs was probably safer.

*NHS consultant I mean

Also after a c section you are buggered physically and there is FAR greater risk of something going wrong on a c section (in terms of in your life long term afterwards) than after a natural delivery. A c section should be an emergency option only

Have you ever had a caesarean because I call bullshit on all of this.

You are not "buggered physically", current policy is to get you up on your feet as soon as the spinal wears off because the sooner you move, the better. I had my first elective at 9am and was shuffling around the room by tea time.

there is FAR greater risk of something going wrong on a c section (in terms of in your life long term afterwards)

The risk statistics for caesareans include emergency deliveries and deliveries where there are underlying health issues with either mother or baby (or both) and this skews the figures quite a bit. Long term, a caesarean is no more high risk than a vaginal birth and there are some risks that are lowered or entirely negated by having a section (e.g., no risk of perineum tearing).

A c section should be an emergency option only

Women are not infants. We should have clear, unbiased facts about both methods of delivery and the freedom to choose which suits our individual wants and needs.

I was in a ward with about 5 others, including one mum who'd had a CS. Unsure if emergency or planned as I didn't speak to her unfortunately.

However, partners left at 9pm and she had to get up to deal with her baby in the night. The midwives took ages to come and help her and at one stage berated her for buzzing them as she 'had to start getting up and moving around'. She was in tears. I didn't say anything as it was the early hours of the morning but I wished I'd said something in the next day.

This might not be the care you'd get, but they do like you up and about asap and if you don't have your partner staying (particularly if you have another child at home), it could be up to you getting up, reaching over a cot, lifting your baby in the middle of the night while sleep deprived and recovering from surgery. I would certainly pay for more helpful post natal care if I could afford it and the ability for someone to stay the night if needed.

Whichof that is entirely wrong. While risks are complex and subjective a rough ranking of risk goes from VB no complication, to ELCS to EMCS with the riskiest being VB with complications as this includes life long, severe problems for the baby.

OP I had two lovely, private ELCS and the level of care certainly made a difference to the experience. Having said that you can request an ELCS on the NHs (not an option where I am), and perhaps upgrade to a private room and a doula or private nurse to keep costs more reasonable?

If you can afford it, i would to give yourself peace of mind.
In London about £14k for consultant/hospital fees. Excellent experience pre/post natal

Are you considered low risk op? Perhaps as an alternative you might want to look into a homebirth, if your area is well provided?

for the shit time you had - I've been looking into gentle / 'natural' Caesarians too and they look like a lovely experience.

Hope it goes better for you this time.

Hey
Sorry I didn't get back to you all sooner. Thanks so much for all of the input.
I think I will be high risk due to previous pregnancy? I don't want a home birth this time.
I did with my first pregnancy but health dictated that this wasn't possible :(

I had a private midwife but only got her on board at the last moment and sadly I went into labour the day we were due to meet.
Whilst she was an amazing advocate following the delivery of my son she wasn't there for the whole pregnancy.

I would consider using a private wing attached to NHS.

It's really expensive but honestly if I had managed the pregnancy better last time it would have been cheaper then being so ill and broken by the whole experience :(

Some extremely valuable information in here.
I am inclined to agree with the posters who feel a C section is safer then a vaginal delivery.
Especially as I am absolutely Tiny and even need a paediatric speculum when I have to have a check of my cervix.

Thanks everyone for all the valuable input .

I will be going private. The NHS fucked up my twin delivery so badly that one of them died, no way I am risking an NHS delivery again. I anticipate £15-20k but you don’t have to have private antenatal care, many consultants will start seeing you from, say, 26 weeks or so.

I had a private CS for my twins after horrific care previously. Wiped out our saving but it was wonderful. Amazing consistent care. I don't regret the money we spent at all

Also after a c section you are buggered physically and there is FAR greater risk of something going wrong on a c section (in terms of in your life long term afterwards) than after a natural delivery.

Absolute liar. Why do people sound off about stuff when they clearly don't know what they're talking about?

I'd do what you think you need to do for your mental health op. If you've never had trauma counselling might be worth going private for that too? I've had it after birth trauma and it's been absolutely life saving.