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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cook something DH doesn't like?

46 replies

CrohnicallyEarly · 08/10/2018 17:52

We had sausage casserole. He likes all the individual ingredients, and indeed asked for sausage, mash, veg and gravy for tea a couple of weeks ago, but doesn't like things cooked in gravy.

So I put some sausages and veg to one side for DH and cooked them separately. I also cooked jacket potatoes to have on the side instead of mash as it's easier. And of course there was gravy from the casserole.

When it came time to serve up, DH turned his nose up at what I'd cooked. Instead he ate the sausages on their own and then had his spuds with various toppings. At least he sorted himself out, but that meant food was wasted, we're on a budget and he added stuff to his spuds that was earmarked for other meals.

Aibu to be annoyed he was rude about what I cooked, even though I thought I'd catered for his dislike, and also that he essentially had 2 meals?

OP posts:
Graphista · 08/10/2018 17:56

Yabu to cook for an ungrateful fussy sod!

Cook only for you in future and he can cook for himself!

Losingthewill1 · 08/10/2018 17:58

Well he sounds like an utter delight.

Does he do this with other things too? Like if you want to go somewhere and he doesn’t does he immediately shut it down?

Does he ever cook? ( like regularly and not one a year)

Men who act like this arnt just selfish in one thing and I think you should take a look at his behaviour in your relationship.

He sounds like a douche

user1493413286 · 08/10/2018 18:07

I don’t think there’s an issue with him wanting it a bit different; more that you needed that food for something else.
If DH cooked me that meal I’d probably put beans with the jacket potato and I wouldn’t think much was wrong with that as long as I didn’t moan about it.
I wouldn’t massively fancy jacket potato and sausages.

Sirzy · 08/10/2018 18:10

Can’t say I would fancy jacket potato and sausage together.

Surely this is where communication comes in though - “I’m cooking a sausage casserole do you want me to do sausage and jacket potato for you or do you want something different?”

Brazenhussy0 · 08/10/2018 18:16

Yeah I wouldn't be mad keen on the idea of sausages with jacket potato either. Gravy with a jacket potato seems wrong somehow as well. (And I'm far from a fussy eater.)

I tend to do most of the cooking in our house as well and I usually run what I'll be making by DP first. As Sirzy says, communication is key here.

Alpacanorange · 08/10/2018 18:19

Yabu to insist he eat something you know he doesn’t like.
Yanbu to cook it for yourself.

Lichtie · 08/10/2018 18:21

Took two posts to tell OP to evaluate her relationship, how many till we get LTB?

He cooked a slightly alternative meal, what a cretin 😉

possumgoddess · 08/10/2018 18:23

YANBU to cook something he doesn't like, but YABU to give him an alternative he doesn't like as well! As somebody else has said, you could ask him whether he wants the alternative you are thinking of. I wouldn't cook 2 completely different meals but if my DH hadn't wanted the jacket potatoes I probably would have suggested that he prepared his own alternative to be honest - my DH would probably have had baked beans or pease pudding.

Thatssomebadhatharry · 08/10/2018 18:24

When you say turned his nose up do you mean he actually moaned or just didn’t want to eat until he amended your creation. The latter is no different from adding salt and pepper really.

timeisnotaline · 08/10/2018 18:24

He didn’t cook anything. I don’t understand how he had two meals? But being rude about my cooking especially if I’d wllowed for your tastes specifically would get you rostered to cooking for the week.

Floaty2018 · 08/10/2018 18:27

Jesus Christ some of the responses here are so OTT!

"Ungrateful fussy sod" and "douche". Jeez Louise. I hate to think what kinds of relationships you lot are in!

reluctantbrit · 08/10/2018 18:30

Hm, if you know h doesn’t like it then I wouldn’t have done it. Either do it when there are leftovers from other days for him or ask him for an idea for an alternative which doesn’t cost the earth or takes ages to do.

My dad didn’t like certain food so my mum cooked them on Mondays when there were leftovers from Sunday roast or she had some one person meal in the freezer, like a stew leftover, no hard feelings and problem solved.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/10/2018 18:30

Why did he have a JP and not mash?

Instacrumb · 08/10/2018 18:34

Surely this is where communication comes in though - “I’m cooking a sausage casserole do you want me to do sausage and jacket potato for you or do you want something different?”

This. Do people not even communicate and talk about basic things like what's for dinner now?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/10/2018 18:36

Firstly I don't understand how he has two meals, you said he ate the sausages and added toppings to the potato, surely that's the same ingredients as you had in your meal?

Secondly you are being pretty unreasonable to cook a meal you know he doesn't like, its not uncommon to not like food cooked or smothered in gravy.

Thirdly who has sausages with jacket potatoes? Have I missed some memo that said this is acceptable pairing of food? Hmm

Holdingonbarely · 08/10/2018 18:41

Why does anyone in their right mind make a casserole out of sausages. It’s just wrong
Impo

PillowOfSociety · 08/10/2018 18:43

Can I ask what IS ok with jacket potato? Steak is good with jacket potato, or is usually an option in Steak House type restaurants. So what’s wrong with sausage and JP?

DollyWilde · 08/10/2018 18:44

I wouldn’t cook something I knew DH didn’t like, but that’s because he’s not a fussy bugger and so there’s always plenty of nice alternatives we both love.

Couldn’t live with a fussy eater though, it’s an enormous turn off for me.

MakeAHouseAHome · 08/10/2018 18:45

I could never live with a fussy eater. Eat what i make or don't eat.

MakeAHouseAHome · 08/10/2018 18:46

I also wouldn't be cooking 2 meals or giving anyone an alternative!?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/10/2018 18:48

I could never live with a fussy eater. Eat what i make or don't eat.

Seriously? He's hardly fussy he just doesn't like gravy much from what I can see. A fussy eater is someone who is very restrictive in their diet. I'm genuinely curious to ask if you really eat everything or like most people are there certain things your not fond of. Your attitude is very draconian.

Holdingonbarely · 08/10/2018 18:52

To be fair, I don’t think he’s fussy. If I said I don’t like prawn stir fry and someone made it. I would think they were a cunt.
There are literally MILLIONS of recipes, why on earth would you make something someone doesn’t like and then come onto the internet and complain. And he didn’t even seem that fussed, he just didn’t want to eat it and made other combinations.

You sound fucking hard work.

FYI - if you’re on a budget, sausage casserole is not a particularly cheap meal. Maybe learn some better alternatives. Or let him cook.

Original poster
CrohnicallyEarly · 08/10/2018 19:17

I was putting the children in the bath and bed, so I'll try and answer all the points people have raised.

I couldn't ask him what he wanted, because he was at work and I'm not supposed to phone him at work unless it's an emergency. I didn't think 'what would you like for tea?' counted.

I did jacket potatoes because our toddler is teething, full of cold and very fussy at the moment. So I could just bung them in the oven one handed instead of having to peel, watch the pan, and mash while the little one cried. To me there's not much difference between jacket and mash, if you don't want it in the jacket you could scoop the potato out of the middle and there you go, it's mash!

When I said he turned his nose up, I got as far as saying 'we're having sausage casserole' (we being me and the children) and he pulled a face and said 'urgh'. I hadn't got as far as saying I'd left him some sausages out.

He does like sausages, veg, mash and gravy when it's made and served separately. He smothers his food in gravy. He just doesn't like when food is cooked IN the gravy because it 'goes soggy'. So I thought I was being thoughtful by keeping him some sausage and veg out so he could add the gravy after like he prefers.

As for sausage casserole not being a budget meal, it was the leftovers of a pack of 20 frozen sausages from farm foods or somewhere, they're not really good enough to eat on their own so that's why they went in a casserole. So the 2 sausages each would have been a darn sight cheaper than the 2 tins of tuna he had on his potato (yes, 2 whole tins of tuna went into his tuna mayo topping for his potato, those 2 tins would have gone into a pasta bake for all of us). When I say I'm on a budget, I don't mean we're scraping the barrel and struggling to feed everyone, just that I buy enough food for meals for the week and wasn't expecting him to use the ingredients for another meal. Even if he had left his sausages it wouldn't have been so bad because I could have done something with them for the children or for a lunch.

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 08/10/2018 19:22

I would never turn my nose up at something that someone has taken the trouble to cook for me. But then I am not a fussy eater. Fussy eaters get right on my nerves.

TacoLover · 08/10/2018 19:22

He was rude but a jacket potato with sausages is bloody weird, I'm sorry.