Got bullied at school due to body odour ! Felt so ashamed

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Hello all
I recently joined a school as a Volunteer and I have never had any complaints of body of our from my past experiences in any firm .it was just 2 weeks that I was invited for a school meeting for a very sensitive issue .the lady told me I suspect her to be the manager that some coworker in the class has serious issues because of my body odour and I was told to go home for a while .i was really shocked I had bath in the morning and all the daily routine .am I being unreasonable for expecting the colleague to come back to me rather than putting it in the management .my partner asked me to just leave and come back home and never go again .it was extremely embarrassing and in such a situation can anything be done or anyone be questioned.

When I used to manage a large team of people I had to speak to one of the team about body odour, as his colleagues were really suffering. It must have felt really humiliating, I'm sorry - but it's the manager's job to deal with things like that, please don't feel as if by going to management it was somehow more serious. It's just the correct way to deal with an issue like that.

The meeting I had to have was absolutely horrendous for both of us - obviously for him but also for me! It's awful knowing that you're going to make someone feel embarrassed and small, I had so much sympathy for him but had to talk to him about it because it was affecting everyone else in the office.

I hope that the person who spoke to you was polite and kind. Please don't let this put you off volunteering! Just have a think about what sort of fabrics you're wearing and what sort of deodorant/antiperspirant, and hopefully the issue can be resolved. I'm sure they'd like to see you back there, volunteers are really important. Do something nice for yourself this evening, it must have been a bit of a horrid day. Tomorrow will be better!

if none of the above suggestions are relevant to you I think you should visit your gp or dentist - blocked sinuses cause bad breath, ibs because of bloat etc and the fact you cant digest food - ie lactose intolerance or gluten intolerance, - even urine infection - or diabetes. Sometimes fungal infections too.

Please have the courage to go back. I had to address the same issue with someone that I managed once - it was sorted and was purely an administrative thing, it didn't change my opinion of them as a person (apart from positively in that everything was taken on board and there was never a problem again).

Perhaps you suffer from Trimethylaminuria (TMAU) and don't realise.
Make an appointment to see your GP.

I used to work in a care home OP, wearing a polyester uniform and i've never sweat so much in my life. I tried all sorts of deodorants and in desperation used to have to wear a cotton top underneath my uniform. Sure maximum strength was my salvation, and it completely stopped it overnight. You put it on at night and it's that simple.

You must feel dreadful, but it's better that you know and you can move forward from here

You said you bath rather than shower. It can be quite hard to wash your armpits sitting in the bath. My ex once reeked and I was relieved when he said he was going for a bath....he still smelled bad as he’d washed the areas under the water but not made the effort on his armpits. Maybe just concentrate on making sure every area is thoroughly washed?

Did they specify if it a sweat smell etc. Mil’s House reeks of damp (she never opens the windows and dries clothes indoors). She doesn’t notice it and neither does DH but it is a very strong damp smell. Last night she took off her coat in a restaurant and the damp smell made me gag a bit. I couldn’t embarrass her by mentioning it though .

Use mitcham hard stick deodorant it will solve all your problems. You literally can't stink wearing that so if you use it you'll know youre safe. Not a nice conversation to have for either party I've had to have that chat with a colleague before who only washed once a week. So awkward. Just be mindful and take it on the chin for now and try and put it behind you.

You should have been told whonis supervising you, who is the manager and who to speak to if you have any problems. They should regularly speak to about how you are doing

Perhaps the job made you sweat more as more active?

I don’t think It can be quite hard to wash your armpits sitting in the bath at all. Put soap on wet armpits, rinse soap off.

I read once that people vary in the extent to which they can smell BO. About 50/50. We have an extended family member with this issue and some of us suffer while others don't notice. He washes, but then puts on yesterday's shirt.
Are you washing your clothes at 40C ? I noticed that DH's T shirts washed at 30 are not completely odour-free (DH doesn't notice, he is a non-smeller).
Yes it's embarrassing to have it pointed out, but it's better to know and be able to do something about it. Don't stress about it, it will soon be forgotten.

Do you smoke? I hate being near a smoker. It makes me gag. Time to quit if so.

I also find that some people wash their bodies but not their clothes. How often do you wash your clothes and how do you wash them?

There may be strong cooking smells / cigarette smells lingering on your clothes.

Maybe your perfume is too strong too. Do you wear deoderant? I recommend Mitchum (can't spell it properly)

Body odour is much more than just showering

tbh when you read 'smelly colleague' threads the advice usually is to go to the manager.

op, I hope you take this too badly.

good hygiene is important for wellbeing of yourself and those around. regular washing, teeth brushing, fresh clothes and you are good to go again.

Also, cool washes (30 or 40 degrees) won't get smells out. 60 degrees will.

How is this bullying??! Just because you shower doesn’t mean you don’t smell. The bacteria can be on clothes and unless you boil wash it won’t go. So you bath and put on clean clothes but as soon as you sweat the set in bacteria mixes and produces the smell.
Your coworker spoke to her manager and asked you to deal with this. Not bullying at all.

Smelling of smoke isn't BO. I'm assuming it's a dried sweat smell that's very strong making people gag Last night's cooking smell wouldn't make someone decide to send you home.

Your colleague dealt with this correctly - it's not her job to bring up an issue like this - it's the job of the person who manages volunteers.

Some people don't have as good a sense of smell as others. I'm constantly smelling things that my DH can't smell - he thinks I invent bad smells - but I don't. He's just got a rubbish nose!

As others have said, it's not just about having a bath, it's about wearing a good deoderant (yes, Mitchum is very effective), having clean clothes and making sure that your laundry detergent is doing its job. If clothes are niffy I tip in some laundry bleach too as this kills the bacteria that cause smells and it's often necessary if you use a non-bio laundry detergent (a bio one should kill the bacteria). Use a tumble drier, dry clothes outside on a warm day, or use an airing cupboard as this quickly dries the clothes without mildew being able to form. This can smell very unpleasant and forms when clothes are dried in a cold/damp environment. It can even form if you forget to empty the wash and leave your clothes in the machine for a day or two. Finally, if you eat a lot of spicy food, this can make your sweat smell particularly pungent - curries and onions big culprits for this - so if you eat those foods often make sure you're doing all the above, plus a hot bath/shower with plenty of soap.

OP, if your manager told you to go home then they almost certainly agree that there is a problem. But honestly, it's not the end of the world - this can easily be solved! I think I would go for a three-pronged attack:

1. Body. Shower and wash bits and pits with soap every day, and hair every other day. Make sure to put on deodorant and clean clothes after your shower.

1. Clothes. Wash your clothes more regularly. If they still smell after washing then try using a sports detergent or soaking them in white vinegar for half an hour before washing. Add fabric conditioner and let them dry outside if possible. Deep clean your washing machine.

1. House. Air your house out every day, even if it's cold. Wash your bedding at least once every two weeks. Use diluted fabric conditioner in a spray bottle to spritz your soft furnishings (although read the label carefully because it can interfere with flame retardent chemicals).

Listen, this isn't a personality flaw, this is just a situation that you haven't been on top of. The manager is only telling you so that you can go away and sort it out! So deal with it and go back with your head held high.

I'm peri menopausal and I've started to whiff a bit so I've switched to dettol anti bacterial soap. Using soap instead of shower gel has really helped as well as using mitchum stick deodorant. The other thing to do is to air and deodarise your shoes. I put talcum powder in mine and spray it with Scholl shoe freshener the night before.

Avoid artificial fibres where possible and stick to natural fibres.

I don't believe this to be bullying. The correct procedure has been followed, though I get how embarrassing and upsetting this is for you. I used to work with a woman who had very strong smelling body odour and sometimes it was nauseating and embarrassing as it was a nursery setting where we had to deal with parents. She was called into the office and had to go home and wash. She suffered with it though and regular washing and deodorant didn't always help.

" It can be quite hard to wash your armpits sitting in the bath"

Bollocks!

Do you use bodywash or soap? If you use shower gel or bodywash ditch them in favour of soap.
DD suffers from sweaty armpits and uses Triple Dry anti perspirant.

Also, how do you wash your clothes? If you are using the quick wash at a low temperature it won't destroy the bacteria that causes the smell. You need to wash things like light coloured T-shirts at 60 degrees.
And how do you dry your clothes? Line dry? tumble dryer? On an airer that takes days to dry clothes?

Use biological washing powder instead of liquid, the enzymes break down lingering bacteria.

Drink plenty of water to flush out your system and eat a few tablespoons of live yogurt. Start taking a high grade probiotic tablet from a health food shop.

FWIW, I think it was dealt with as best it could be.

If you bathe in the morning and put on fresh clothes each day, as well as deo, then it may be worth you speaking to a Dr. In the meantime maybe think about what you eat as garlicy and oniony foods can make sweat smell stronger.

No matter how hard it was for you to hear, it’s a thousand times better than it continuing and people saying things behind your back.

People don’t raise this unless there is a real issue, and if you can’t tell then you need to be made aware.

This happened to a colleague, initially it was hard for them and for the people who had to raise it, but it changed and everyone forgot about it.

People in general are not aresholes, they might not like the smell, but they are probably more worried about you in the long term.

I once had to have this talk with a colleague who reeked of piss on some days.
colleague was very embarrassed but also very relieved because it was an illness causing the smell (something with the kidneys). we were able to come to a good arrangement that suited colleague & company.