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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP helping with my outfit?

40 replies

Noseyparker85 · 08/10/2018 16:49

I have been invited to my DPs cousins wedding.
We are from very different backgrounds, he was privileged and had a great upbringing, anyway, the wedding is very formal and is considered normal for his family! I however have never attended a wedding with a 'Morning Dress' dress code. I've been asking my OH to help me look at what to wear, I've never met this side of his family so i'd like to blend in & not draw attention to myself. However he keeps saying just wear whatever, I've never looked at what girls wear etc etc and is leaving me struggling,

I feel like making an excuse and not attending with fear of sticking out like a sore thumb, Would IBU to pull out?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 08/10/2018 16:51

Pull out because you don't know what to wear? I assume you want to go and meet them all, or do you not?

Just wear a nice dress and jacket. It's really not a big deal. Nothing revealing or slashed to the waist or bum, nice fitting you'll be fine.

Bluntness100 · 08/10/2018 16:52

What height, age and size are you, what's your colouring and what's your budget? Folks on here can help.

My husband would also have no clue if I asked him to help me find an outfit. But I wouldn't ask him.

shakeyourcaboose · 08/10/2018 16:55

Are they 'proper' formal as in is your DP wearing hat and grey tails? Have you looked at Debretts? That's only if its to the full extent of morning dress! www.debretts.com/expertise/etiquette/dress-codes/morning-dress/

WeeMadArthur · 08/10/2018 16:56

As Bluntness said, a nice dress and jacket is fine. If you need ideas google for images of guests attending Harry and Megan’s wedding. If it’s good enough for them it’s good enough for anyone!

lottiegarbanzo · 08/10/2018 16:56

YWBVU to give up so easily. People here can help. Post in S&B.

shakeyourcaboose · 08/10/2018 16:56

*it's

Bluntness100 · 08/10/2018 16:58

Much depends on age, size, budget, etc. But something like this, with a matching nipped in jacket in one of the dress colours would work.

If you don't like the shape there is a shit ton of dresses you could wear to suit every shape and size.

www.tedbaker.com/uk/Womens/Clothing/Dresses/KAYYTEE-Splendour-ruffle-sleeve-dress-Baby-Pink/p/147523-BABY-PINK

Original poster
Noseyparker85 · 08/10/2018 16:59

shakeyourcaboose that link is very useful!

They will be wearing Hat and Tails - Men have it so much easier!

OP posts:
Original poster
Noseyparker85 · 08/10/2018 17:02

I'm a 6 - no boobs!

budget £200 (may need to get a jacket too)

OP posts:
itbemay · 08/10/2018 17:02

love that dress @bluntness100

Original poster
Noseyparker85 · 08/10/2018 17:03

lottiegarbanzo I probably know i am - im just scared of embarrassing myselfand looking silly

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 08/10/2018 17:03

I'm sure lots of blokes would be the same. No interest in women's fashion. I'd start with google and ask on the style and beauty thread. Try Coast, they're normally pretty good for wedding outfits. Try not to stress about it, weddings are meant to be fun!

NerdyBird · 08/10/2018 17:14

If you repost in style and beauty or chat you may get more responses with suggestions. I wouldn't have a clue about proper formal morning dress for women at a wedding either!

PavlovaFaith · 08/10/2018 17:14

I'd go for a mid length dress (not knee length) with hat and gloves.

PavlovaFaith · 08/10/2018 17:16

Sorry that was meant to say longer knee length.

shakeyourcaboose · 08/10/2018 17:17

Agree with violet Coast will be excellent- they have sale on at present so you should be able to get your outfit for the £200!

Agentornika · 08/10/2018 17:18

I wouldn't wear gloves, seems a bit ott

GeorgeTheHippo · 08/10/2018 17:21

Google morning dress to get some ideas. Or yes, look at the royal weddings.

timeisnotaline · 08/10/2018 17:23

If you’re anxious post in style and beauty with a few links to options. I prob wouldn’t wear gloves, I think you’ll just feel self conscious about things you’d never usually wear. In defence of your dh, he probably hasn’t really got a clue Grin. Is his mother nice? Could you run a dress by her to help your nerves?

GinandGingerBeer · 08/10/2018 17:25

Go to a big John Lewis and book a personal shopper appointment.

donajimena · 08/10/2018 17:27

My SIL told me to wear whatever to her brothers wedding. So I did. A nice floral Laura Ashley number. Turned up and everyone was in black tie/evening dress. I felt uncomfortable all night.

babbscrabbs · 08/10/2018 17:28

I'd wear something that is still your style but appropriate. if you're going to be with him longer term you don't want to pretend you are something or someone else. People who judge others on their appearances are shallow anyway. Be confident!

Having said that...

In my experience people at posh weddings don't wear the same sort of stuff that people at normal weddings do. Its rare to see a satin or floral dress for example and never a shrug! Generally not short, tight, stretchy, shiny or sleeveless unless it's hot.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 08/10/2018 17:31

Dresses are fine, agree definitely no satin or shrugs, and safest to cover shoulders as some churches don't allow sleeveless dresses. You'll be fine!

SylvanianFrenemies · 08/10/2018 17:33

Go to a personal shopper at a Department Store such as John Lewis. This is exactly the sort of stuff they are there for.

shallichangemyname · 08/10/2018 17:52

I had a morning suit formal wedding and have been to loads.
Don't bother with gloves.
Wear a hat. Fascinator or big, anything goes.
Don't go too short. Dress and jacket is a good idea. If it's summer you'll get away with a dress and a wrap. Don't go for anything too sexy. Play it safe.