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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed by ‘& guest’

33 replies

Peopleplease · 08/10/2018 16:01

A relation (their mothers are first cousins, whatever that makes them) of DH is getting married soon.

The families are pretty close, the groom has worked on our house and met me numerous times. DH and I have been married 7 years.

The invite (which is for the evening) has come to ‘DH & Guest’. I’m actually a little annoyed. It would have been easy to find out my name if they had forgotten.

OP posts:
FannyFlapping · 08/10/2018 16:04

YANBU rude cunt.

I wouldn't bother my arse wasting my weekend (presume it's on a weekend) on the wedding of someone who can't even be bothered to remember my name.

Or if you wanted to be PA... go, buy a present and label it "from [DH's name] and guest" though I suspect ignorant bastards like this probably wouldn't get it or care

Sethis · 08/10/2018 16:08

Before losing your shit, maybe try to sneakily compare your invite to others. It's possible that every single invitation is to "Person X plus 1" either for the sake of convenience and time saving during the writing step, or because they don't want to assume that person X will necessarily bring person Y, because person Y might be busy/not be able to come and they don't want to navigate the diplomacy of "Oh, why didn't person Y come, we invited them..." and have rolled that out across every invite.

Of course if you manage to see the invites of a few other people and they all specify partner names you might be entitled to feel somewhat aggrieved.

Feellikeimthemaid · 08/10/2018 16:09

I'd be fuming. You've been married 7 years FFS! It's not as though you're a casual girlfriend. It would annoy me enough to make me not want to go.

TruffleShuffles · 08/10/2018 16:12

It is rather rude. I invited two of my cousins to my wedding and both their partners who I had never even met and I made sure I found out both of their names to put on the invites.

FrogsAreMean · 08/10/2018 16:14

Bloody hell, the replies on here just because of a typewritten, "Guest" - fuck sake, I would hate to see your reactions to a REAL problem.

LolaPickle · 08/10/2018 16:16

I'd not be too concerned over this - I doubt they meant it as a personal slight OP, more of an oversight at a busy time

itsbetterwithoutyou · 08/10/2018 16:20

YANBU its rude. what are they going to put on the seating plan 'DHs Guest'?

SerenDippyEggs · 08/10/2018 16:20

I agree with PP, try and find out what the other invites said first.. and if they're not the same, it's bang out of order!

showmeahero · 08/10/2018 16:23

RUDE Shock What does DH day?

showmeahero · 08/10/2018 16:23

*Say

LemonysSnicket · 08/10/2018 16:23

I wouldn't really care tbh... I wonder how many people they are inviting and how many names they'd have to ask around for - more embarrassing if someone found hat out than just saying guest.

GreenMeerkat · 08/10/2018 16:23

Wow. YANBU that is so rude!

Skybooks · 08/10/2018 16:24

I fully agree I was invited to my cousin (fee up as close as siblings) wedding as DM, DF and family.

I'm an only child and was a 20 year old single at the time - I'm.sure my name wasn't that difficult for them.

That was years ago and I'm still annoyed so I feel your pain.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 08/10/2018 16:30

Surely it's just for convenience?! Honestly some posters must combust when faced with something genuinely offensive.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 08/10/2018 16:35

If you are married, and you have entertained the person at your home then it is rude. OR slipshod organisation/admin on their part.

I'd probably not take umbrage but get DH to reply with your name/send a cheeky text depending on your relationship

Or maybe your DH should show up with some randomer for amusement

abacucat · 08/10/2018 16:38

The best rule in life is not to take every slight annoyance as a personal affront. I would assume that it is simply slipshod admin and go.

Inertia · 08/10/2018 16:43

You could always respond with Dear Sarah and Groom...

PickleSarnie · 08/10/2018 16:49

We received a New Baby card after I had my eldest addressed to "Mr PickleSarnie and partner".

Yes it was lovely they bothered to send a card but surely they could have found out the name of the "partner" that had just given birth to said baby!

LaBelleSausage · 08/10/2018 16:50

I may be mistaken but I always though ‘and guest’ or ‘plus one’ meant that you aren’t invited in your own right.

So if your DH couldn’t attend the wedding they wouldn’t expect you to go, but you have been invited to accompany him.

That would make sense if it’s a cousin of DH and not a friend of you both.

MinecraftHolmes · 08/10/2018 16:50

First cousins once removed? Or would that be what your DH is to his mum's cousin? Second cousins perhaps?

THEsonofaBITCH · 08/10/2018 16:53

Some people feel its more formal/correct to address the blood family member only, but it should have read & Wife - not & Guest. Irritating but in the end not a major drama unless you want it to be.

TomHardysNextWife · 08/10/2018 17:02

Just RSVP from DH and "guest" aka Peopleplease!

It is rude in honesty but not something I'd get overly worked up about.

GinandGingerBeer · 08/10/2018 17:03

I think it'd make me laugh to be honest if I received that.
It's like when Mil sends a Christmas card to 'My dear son' and writes 'and daughter in law' next to it. Grin
It's really not worth getting annoyed about 🤷🏻‍♀️

IDoLoveToBeBesideTheSeaside · 08/10/2018 17:04

It's possible someone else wrote the invitations 'to help' and maybe 1. couldn't remember your name 2. couldn't read the name from bad handwriting 3. got your DH confused with someone else 4. is a total bastard and has always hated you.

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/10/2018 17:06

Wow that's rude!

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