AIBU to think it's hard to sort out childcare?

[user1486333358]

I'm a teacher and am not at work today because my child is sick. We have no family in this country, no childminder or nanny or family friend to step in. My partner is a contractor and if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid. I'm at a loss as what to do that is economical and also know I'm on short maternity cover contract at work so don't want to miss too many days. Also it was very awkward calling in about my child's sickness and not my own. What are the requirements for schools when the teacher's children are sick? What do other teacher's do in the London area or anywhere when they need emergency childcare? Thanks

Surely the avnswet is that your partner takes the dY off?

I can't imagine you will get paid because you've told them it's for your child. Certainly where I work (NHS) we have to take emergency annual leave or unpaid carers leave

Before we moved DH and I would take it in turns to take upaid leave - depending on who had the busier day/meetings etc.

There are emergency nanny agencies but they are ££££

Now we live in my hometown we have DM/family friends etc. Part of the reason we moved out of London was to have a support network.

You share it - so some days your partner takes it off, and you loose the money.
Or you pay through the nose for an emergency nanny.

There is no easy answer.

How old is the child?

At my school we used to get 2 paid days off for dependants. Check your school’s policy, you might be pleasantly surprised!

Share the unpaid leave. We have a strict rota. It's crap for everyone but it's just life.

We share days off, so if DS is sick Monday-Wednesday, I take time off, DH does Thursday-Saturday. We're in the same position as you, no family within six hours of us, and all our friends here work during the day.

I do some freelance work in the evenings that I can do in my own time, so that tops up our loss of earnings when we have to take leave to care for DS.

It is crap OP.

I’m a nurse and I’ve had to cancel a shift today and won’t be working on Wednesday either because my child is sick. My husband is a teacher so finds himself in your situation too.

We alternate who takes a day off so he will having to take tomorrow off. Neither of us like phoning in work and saying we won’t be on because our child is unwell but there’s not much else can be done

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. Alternate days. Yanbu, though. It's really hard.

It's shit. I was in the same position when I worked as a TA.

I could take a day off and lose a days pay. Or DH, who earned 4 times as much as me and was self employed, could take a day off and lose a far more significant amount in a days pay. So it fell to me every time, because we couldn't afford to lose that much money.

No family. Most of my friends were either from work or lived in the town I was from. So it was tough.

Luckily my kids weren't often ill so there was only a few times it had to happen.

But also it would annoy me that they'd assume I'd have people queuing up to look after a sick kid in the first place! Because everyone wants the opportunity to catch D&V, don't they!

You have to take time off to look after your child and deal with the financial loss. What exactly do you think or wish would happen? That somebody somewhere takes pity and pays you for this? If this was the case then there would be no need for sahp ‘s

It's really hard and there's no easy solution. I had to take 2 days off work a couple of weeks ago because dd2 was ill. I work in a school as a lunchtime supervisor and they were really unimpressed about it. I'm already dreading the next time I have to do it tbh.

This is life with children. You should expect to have to take unpaid leave to care for sick children. All children get sick. It’s part of the deal.

At least make sure your partner takes his fair share. Nothing worse than a couple deciding between them that one parent’s employer should bear most (or even all) the burden of unexpected absences.

Unfortunately childcare is an expense of having a child. There’s no magic solution to this.

We share it. Thankfully I was part time in the day when DS were both little and sick more often. DH also has days off in the week when I'm in work so that helps. But we do share the days off when sick etc.

Until my ds was 10, I took time off. And was “made redundant” twice.

Then he had 4 days at home with a heavy cold so I gave him Nurofen at 8.30, left him on the sofa with phone, tv, a snack & drink and went into work, thankfully v close.
At 12.30 I went home, checked him, spent 40 mins with him, more nurofen, & back to work until 5.30

It’s not ideal but he was happy and I need to keep my job. We live rurally and have neighbours he can go to in an emergency. I’m not sure I’d do it in London.

Same as seniorschoolmum I’ve ‘lost’ 2 jobs because of dc illnesses. As a single parent of 3, I had no one to share the time off with. Childminders won’t take a sick child anyway.

My older 2 are old enough to stay home by themselves now (unless really ill) and I only have to take time off for the youngest.

Still a shitty situation to be in though.

I work in the NHS and phoning in sick because of a child's illness was frowned upon. We had next to no help either, so when it was my 'turn' I used to lie and say it was me that was unwell.

Know anyone self employed that works from home? I'm sure they'll help if you plead the sob story. Always worked with me, because I'd be told 'of course it's not like you actually have to go to work do you?' and 'you can bring your laptop over and do your work here' but the clincher was 'I've freshly baked lemon drizzle cake' .

The simple answer is to weigh all this up before returning to work I'm afraid. Many people can't return to work because of this exact reason with absolutely no one to do childcare other than paying for it which is usually more than a salary. So that's why we usually are SAHPs. Not because we don't NEED to work it's just not viable to work!

but the clincher was 'I've freshly baked lemon drizzle cake'

Hey Everyone, thanks for the thoughtful replies. It's helps to know that others face just this sort of challenge and get on with it. There's no magic solution and yes I am a returning to work person that is trying to make it work. I have to say that sick DD is happily playing in the front room despite spending most of the night crying and having a temperature. I really debated sending DD to school but thought that a day of 8am breakfast club, school and then after school care until 5pm would have been too much for a 5 year old. I'm not sure about unpaid leave with teaching. I haven't asked that question. I understand the school will take a financial hit due to getting a supply teacher in. It must be really hard if you have three or more kids. I have new understanding of how difficult it was for my mother as a single parent, to not only work but to find work that was flexible and well paid. I guess I just find it funny that I work with children and try to support parents as best I can but when you're a teacher with children it seems you're not allowed to be off and yes frowned upon for not having a support network.

@Diamonoz
Does that go for single parents too? Do they have the choice to not work and stay at home? Then have thousands of people moaning about their tax money paying for these lazy layabouts?

Cooking good..I'm afraid so if it's not viable. If you're a single parent with a mortgage you're worse off working. Even before childcare comes into it. If you rent then youl be better off. Depends what your salary is to begin with. Why would you be a lazy layabout when being a SAHP? You're not say on your bottom all day surely?