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AIBU?

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Original poster

To leave my lady garden au naturelle

55 replies

NotLongNow2018 · 08/10/2018 07:49

I'm expecting my first baby in the next couple of weeks. I know midwives see mothers to be the all manner of positions and states of grooming but I'm wondering what people did in terms of self maintenance in those final days? I've left my.bush alone for a while and tbh can barely see/reach it to do anything myself but worried if I go into a salon to get it waxed it'll be super sensitive (front and back!) Is this something I need to worry about or should I just go for it in my natural state? Or have I got far more important things to worry about on the day than the state of my foof?!

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 08/10/2018 08:35

I don’t even care about it now, let alone when I was in labour. I didn’t do a hung about it and I didn’t care either.

Now it’s the scissors when I can be arsed!

AjasLipstick · 08/10/2018 08:36

Mine's been all natural for about 20 years now. I never wear a bra either.

Yes, I am a bit of a hippie. My boobs are still very full and with no sag...but they're small. I could not imagine shaving my pubes off! When I used to try I'd get ingrown hairs. I don't swim and if I did, I'd just wear those swimming suit short things with a swim top.

ethelfleda · 08/10/2018 08:39

Is this really such a thing now that women about to birth their baby, the most wonderful and beautiful event they're likely to experience, are worrying about body hair? 20 years ago, when I had mine, all we worried about was would our babies be ok

This! Although maybe labour isn’t beautiful so much!

It reminds me of the attitude to post pregnancy bodies too. I got ‘congratulated’ a few times for losing ‘baby weight’ so quickly. All I could think was what my body had achieved - growing baby, birthing baby and then nurturing baby and THIS is what people want to focus on??

sar302 · 08/10/2018 08:43

I waxed myself at 8 months - it required a lot of effort, bending, and squinting into a mirror! I did a shocking job, and the baby then waited til 42 weeks to come and all my effort was undone anyway 🙈

yorkshireyummymummy · 08/10/2018 08:44

This worries me. What has happened in the last 20 years?
Why do women feel pressured - even when heavily pregnant FFS- to shave/wax/have landing strips/vajazzling etc on their nether regions?

It’s bad enough that western sensibilities force us ( pretty much, the pressure is intense) to shave our legs and underarms. We are conditioned to think our legs / armpits/ foofs look so much better shaved. During my life legs and underarms have always been a given but trimming was as far as anybody went when I was young.

Is it the internet which has potentially brought porn into everybody’s homes- do we all have to be shaved like porn actresses? Is this pressure because men like us all shaved?
Are we doing it for ourselves or for men?
Oh, i know everybody will say ‘ I like it’ ‘ I feel clean with no body hair’ - butbthey don’t shave their bloody heads do they!!

OP- the last thing you should be worried about is your pubic hair which is a natural thing your body grows for a reason. None of the health care staff with give a flying fuck frankly.

missmouse101 · 08/10/2018 08:45

I asked my husband to just trim it a little with scissors as I couldn't see it, but only because I have fat thighs and it pulls uncomfortably if it gets a bit long. I knew I wouldn't have time once the baby was born!

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/10/2018 08:53

I believe the evidence suggests that trimmed but not shaved is best for reducing the risk of infections post delivery though.

Out of interest, why does the evidence suggest trimmed is best? What difference does that make?

I would've thought - if lessening the risk of infection was the priority - leaving it as nature intended would be best.

I do trim, but I'm not under any illusion that it's better, hygiene-wise. If there's evidence to the contrary, I'd be interested to see it.

I certainly didn't bother in the latter stages of pregnancy.

Just to throw a bit of a dampener on things... I read a thread on here relatively recently where a well-known MNer said her friend was a trainee midwife, and she and all her trainee friends apparently laughed at the pregnant women with full bushes. Behind their backs, of course.

Deeply depressing.

GreenLantern53 · 08/10/2018 08:54

Mine was 18 months and she definitely shaved me! maybe im just really hairy Blush

Baby1onboard11 · 08/10/2018 08:58

I actually get my partner to shave my downstairs. I’m due in 3 weeks. It’s not for the midwives benefit at all but because I’m always shaven and I personally feel ‘dirty’ when I’m not (just a personal thing). Do what you prefer but I wouldn’t make special arrangements to get hairless for anyone else or for labour specifically

Threewheeler1 · 08/10/2018 08:59

Dowager
Oh that makes me want to weep! How dare they! Angry

TheOrigFV45 · 08/10/2018 09:02

It didn't cross my mind to do anything other than ensure I was clean.
I can't imagine any HCP even fleetingly noticing pubic hair, unless it was glittery or something.

SpoonBlender · 08/10/2018 09:02

MrsStrowman Your SIL has been TOLD to shave before a Csection? That makes no sense at all! I'd be ditching that consultant if I were her.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/10/2018 09:05

GreenLantern53, I was shaved for my ELCS less than a year ago. I think it's less how hairy you are and more where the hairline is IYSWIM.

OP, just leave your pubic hair as it is. The Midwife will make any changes that are necessary. And good luck with the birth.FlowersSmile

BeatriceJoanna · 08/10/2018 09:24

In the 1970s women campaigned successfully to stop the practice of automatically shaving your pubic hair when you were admitted to the Labour Ward. It's heartbreaking that in 2018 women are worrying about midwives seeing their unmodified bodies.......

I know, talk about going backwards!

TheHeartOfTafiti · 08/10/2018 09:26

I’m a midwife and definitely don’t laugh at women’s pubic hair and would roundly castigate any student who did - I sport a full 70s style bush myself so have no care for what other women do or don’t do with their bodily hair.

We do shave the hairline for a caesarean if it covers where the incision will go (otherwise you’d have hairs in the scar as it was healing). The woman whose consultant told her to shave for an elective probably said it in a ‘it will be shaved so if you’d rather do it yourself then do so before you come in’ type of way - I think that’s fine, I’d rather do it myself.

BeatriceJoanna · 08/10/2018 09:28

Just to throw a bit of a dampener on things... I read a thread on here relatively recently where a well-known MNer said her friend was a trainee midwife, and she and all her trainee friends apparently laughed at the pregnant women with full bushes. Behind their backs, of course.

Well, I suppose even trainee midwives have been influenced by the 'must be hairfree' brigade.

Thank fuck I'm past having babies because this is beyond depressing.

MarthasGinYard · 08/10/2018 09:29

I have regular waxing not too over zealous though just tidy have done for years.

Thought was all quite tame, until had to get rid of most of my already modest landing strip pre ELCS. She handed me a bic Confused

Mangosmoothie · 08/10/2018 09:30

In our hospital we just shave the top part for the dressing. We see all sorts and no one gives it a second thought I promise.

MaHeidsGouping · 08/10/2018 09:33

I trimmed for my last 2 births because I was still haunted by a student midwife saying "wow, so much hair" as she stitched me up after my 1st birth.

Mightymousie · 08/10/2018 09:33

@PhilODox I present at 1 in March 2018 and she was routinely shaved.

GruciusMalfoy · 08/10/2018 09:47

FFS, I hope anyone laughing or commenting on a woman's body hair, at one of her most vulnerable times, is read the riot act.

Do whatever you prefer, OP. It's your body, and hair is what adult females have there naturally, there's nothing wrong with it.

MemoryOfSleep · 08/10/2018 10:37

Just to throw a bit of a dampener on things... I read a thread on here relatively recently where a well-known MNer said her friend was a trainee midwife, and she and all her trainee friends apparently laughed at the pregnant women with full bushes. Behind their backs, of course.

I daresay it stops being funny after the fiftieth. I believe you do have the right to refuse student midwives if this bothers you. Personally, as long as they don't do it to my face, I don't give a flying fuck.

MauraIsles · 08/10/2018 10:43

I didn’t give a toss what my lady area looked like, I was too preoccupied with the fact I was going to be pushing a baby out of my fanjo! It makes me laugh when I see women going for pre-birth mani pedis, waxes, eyelash extensions etc, like they’re taking part in a fashion shoot after the birth 🙄

puffyisgood · 08/10/2018 10:46

My hazy recollections of my own kids' birth is that they'll quickly shave you if they need to, e.g. for stitching etc.

And, for certain, no one will care what you look like down there.

BertrandRussell · 08/10/2018 10:47

"Just to throw a bit of a dampener on things... I read a thread on here relatively recently where a well-known MNer said her friend was a trainee midwife, and she and all her trainee friends apparently laughed at the pregnant women with full bushes. Behind their backs, of course."
I assumed that was a lie. Some women get very angry when anyone questions why it suddenly became the fashion to remove pubic hair in the late 1970s, and lash out in all directions. Dirty, smelly, soaked in sweat and menstrual blood, "letting yourself go"-only a short step to "all the midwives will laugh at you"