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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to clean the vomit out of my car?

41 replies

CanOpenWormsEverywhere · 07/10/2018 16:22

Sort of lighthearted, ish.

Family day out planned yesterday. Got up early (5.30am), got 10 mins down the road and DC4 (2) threw up over herself. We turned around and I stayed at home with DC4 while DH went on the day out with the other 3 DC.

So I had 6 hours of DC4 throwing up every 20 mins or so - some on her, some on me, some on towels around us etc etc. She then slept on me and then seemed a bit brighter but wouldn't let me leave her side until i managed to settle her in bed at 7.30pm. I then washed up sick bowls, put laundry on, had a quick shower.

DH meanwhile has had a great but tiring day out with DC1, 2 and 3. Lots of fun, everyone well behaved. DC3 ate far too much and go travel sick, he threw up all over the car on the way home last night. DH pulls over, cleans the worst of the car and the DC up, changes clothes and carries on home. arrives home at nearly 10pm.

He bundles kids out of car plus the bag of vomit covered clothes. I put DC1 and 2 quickly into bed. I then help DC3 wash down and change into clean PJ and settle him to bed. Setting up floor covers and a sick bowl in case he's sick again. I then do more laundry of DC3's sick things while DH unloads the rest of the car.

So roll forward to today and my car needs properly sorting as still covered in the remains of the vomit.

DH says its my car so I should clean it. I say he was on duty at the time so he should.

Who is BU?!

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 07/10/2018 16:24

Dh should clean the car

Giggorata · 07/10/2018 16:24

Just on the basis that you've been dealing with more sick, YANBU.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 07/10/2018 16:24

Ew he is. He’s had one sick incident compared to your multiple, plus he had a nice day out?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 07/10/2018 16:25

YANBU. You had a pukier day than he did, it's only fair that he do it.

TulipsInBloom1 · 07/10/2018 16:25

I think you should both sort it together and stop being so bloody petty.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 07/10/2018 16:26

He is! If you can afford it take it to a pro hand wash and get the most expensive clean you can then demand he pays for it!

If he has a car take his keys, make him deal with yours.

Shout, tell him plainly that the crappy jobs are NOT YOURS just because he is squeamish.

Basically tell him to man up and be both a parent and a partner!

Stonebake · 07/10/2018 16:27

Oof poor you op. That’s a lot of sick! Um... I don’t know who should do it tbh, because we’ve only had this twice and dh and I both cleaned it. Maybe because you have been dealing with more sick, I’d say dh should do it. But it isn’t a cut and dry case.

Knittedfairies · 07/10/2018 16:28

I hope your children are feeling better today!

grumpy4squash · 07/10/2018 16:30

Where did they go that required a 5.30am start and getting back at 10pm?

Of course DH should clean the car. He was presumably responsible for DC3 overeating....

Frustratedboarder · 07/10/2018 16:31

I would say to him 'right, so while you guys had a great fun day out yesterday I spent the day fielding sick and doing laundry at home, now today you want me to Also spend the day clearing sick - how is that fair?!' and see what he says....

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 07/10/2018 16:31

Yup, you’ve done far more clear up than him and he was with them. Just in terms of equal parenting he should.

Original poster
CanOpenWormsEverywhere · 07/10/2018 16:31

yes my feeling is that i had already had my quota of sick for the day!!

we can't both clean it, its not really practical as someone needs to be with the other DC.

It would just never occur to me to not clean his car if one of the DC had been sick in it while i was using it!

(this isn't a 'manchild' thing, he is a great DH really. this has just annoyed me today)

OP posts:
specialsubject · 07/10/2018 16:32

your not-dear husband should have realised before removing the condom (4 times!) that there is no concept of duty.

mutual spawn, mutual sick clearance. What you both signed up for, I'm afraid!

teach him not to overfeed sicky kids in future, won't it?

Original poster
CanOpenWormsEverywhere · 07/10/2018 16:32

knittedfairies all DC perky and vom free today thankfully!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CanOpenWormsEverywhere · 07/10/2018 16:34

to be clear, i don't blame DH for DC3 being sick - it happens, kids get sick for all sorts of reasons. I have no complaints about how he parents.

he went to visit friends who are a long journey away, other side of the country although not sure why that's relevant?

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 07/10/2018 16:34

He should (although I think it was reasonable not to do it last night)

Hope you all have a less vomitty day today!

Original poster
CanOpenWormsEverywhere · 07/10/2018 16:37

glum no, i agree, we were both too knackered to even think about it last night!

I just assumed he would sort it and it got to about an hour ago and i queried when he was going to sort it and he joked that it was 'my car' and he had 'more sick in one go' yesterday than me.... he was saying it like a joke but he hasnt moved to go and sort it yet.

OP posts:
mumsastudent · 07/10/2018 16:52

ah yes the V & D cleaning fairy has done it yet but if dh leaves it long enough they will wave their magic wand & abracadabra it will clean itself! :)

TeddybearBaby · 07/10/2018 16:52

I’d take it to be cleaned. That smell can really linger 🤢🤮. What a nightmare for you all!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 07/10/2018 16:55

Definitely him, he was using your car.

Brace yourself for more sickness though!

FallenIvy · 07/10/2018 16:58

He should clean the car, he only half cleaned it last night, he didn't finish the job.

callmeadoctor · 07/10/2018 16:59

I would be thinking that there is a tummy bug with your kids and to certainly consider not going anywhere for a couple of days.

Aaaahfuck · 07/10/2018 16:59

Him as you cleaned up way more sick with being at home AND although he did have a tiring day out it is not the same as being with a Sick toddler.

BewareOfDragons · 07/10/2018 17:03

Of course your DH should clean out the car. He was on duty with that child AND you've had a much crappier time of it than he has. He's being an utter dick for having left it like that, too, soaking in and letting the smell just sit there.

Tell him to get on it now.

BewareOfDragons · 07/10/2018 17:04

Oh, and ask him how he would have felt had you been bringing the children home in his car, had one vomit everywhere, make a token effort of cleaning it up and then just left it like that ... how the fuck would he feel?!?!