To expect DH to clean the vomit out of my car?

[CanOpenWormsEverywhere]

Sort of lighthearted, ish.

Family day out planned yesterday. Got up early (5.30am), got 10 mins down the road and DC4 (2) threw up over herself. We turned around and I stayed at home with DC4 while DH went on the day out with the other 3 DC.

So I had 6 hours of DC4 throwing up every 20 mins or so - some on her, some on me, some on towels around us etc etc. She then slept on me and then seemed a bit brighter but wouldn't let me leave her side until i managed to settle her in bed at 7.30pm. I then washed up sick bowls, put laundry on, had a quick shower.

DH meanwhile has had a great but tiring day out with DC1, 2 and 3. Lots of fun, everyone well behaved. DC3 ate far too much and go travel sick, he threw up all over the car on the way home last night. DH pulls over, cleans the worst of the car and the DC up, changes clothes and carries on home. arrives home at nearly 10pm.

He bundles kids out of car plus the bag of vomit covered clothes. I put DC1 and 2 quickly into bed. I then help DC3 wash down and change into clean PJ and settle him to bed. Setting up floor covers and a sick bowl in case he's sick again. I then do more laundry of DC3's sick things while DH unloads the rest of the car.

So roll forward to today and my car needs properly sorting as still covered in the remains of the vomit.

DH says its my car so I should clean it. I say he was on duty at the time so he should.

Who is BU?!

Can you get it valetted? If so do it and stop bickering.

I'm on Team Valet if you can afford it.

I think the fact it's your car is a red herring.

You spent all day with a sick child, and will no doubt be dealing with all the aftermath from this point onwards. He had a nice day out, with a child who was sick from over eating, not unwell.

Why would he not just do it because it needs doing ? Oh and that won't be "helping you out". It'll be cleaning the car because one of his children was sick in it.

Don't be the default for all the crap jobs.

I'm on Team Hide His Car Keys So He Has To Use Your Car Tomorrow. Or Team Leave the House First in His Car.

Sounds like you have two cars. Can you swap the keys and announce you're using his until he gets yours cleaned?

Oops cross post!

I notice he didn't offer to wash the vomit covered clothes as opposed to unloading the car (which unless he was doing a house removal probably didn't amount to much?)

i knew i wasnt the one BU!!!

Can't swap cars as we have 4DC and the car seats dont all fit in DH's car - hence why he was in mine yesterday.

Suffice to say i have cleaned the fucking car. i am fuming.

I went back to him and said ' are you seriously not going to clean the car?' and i got a jokey/smiley 'nope' back. So i started slamming around getting cleaning stuff, making it clear i was annoyed and giving him one last chance to say 'only kidding, of course i'll sort it' and nada. nothing. sweet FA.

So i have spent best part of an hour scrubbing my car and dismantling the car seat and attacking that which was a nightmare to get in all the nooks and crannies.

i am now drinking wine and ignoring him.

I would just never in a million years give him his car back covered in vomit! wouldn't even cross my mind to do that.

for perspective this is the maddest i've ever been with him in 13 years so clearly he is usually a good, supportive and loving partner but WTAF today?! i have never known him do something like this.

oh, and thanks to the poster who felt the need to ignore the point of the thread and lecture me about the rules on D&V, cheers for that

and yes, going forward i will have DC3 home from school tomorrow and possible DC1 as he is starting to look peaky too. while DH fucks off to work.

more wine....

What did you do with the vomit you got out of your car? Is there a vomity bag of rubbish that could find its way stuffed under the driver's seat of into your DH's car?

Please just get the car valeted and don't make a huge deal out of point scoring over who dealt with the most vomit.

Honestly I'd rather spend 6 hours being sick on by a 2 year old with a comparatively plain and mushy diet in the comfort of my home than have to drive any distance in a car with 3 tired children, one of which has been sick, with no escape or respite. Especially if they were sick quite early into the journey.

Urgh how selfish of him. Not surprised you are mad at him.
I suggest you neck the full bottle of wine, puke up in his car, then leave it to fester. But I’m very petty

What a lazy git.

He's a twat OP. I hope this isn't the end of it?

What a dick.

So it looks like your DH let DC3 overeat so they were sick. His fault, his responsibility. (Unless there is a bug at fault then it could have been avoided.)

If you wanted to you could offer to help him clean it, but being as you've been dealing with sick all day anyway you'll probably want a break from it.

Also, if roles were reversed and DH had stayed at home to look after DC4 and you'd gone out and DC3 had been sick in his car on your watch would you clean his car for him or would he offer to help clean up? If he would then I'd be more inclined to help in this circumstance.

I think the person who was least knackered and had the time/energy to do it would have been the correct person to do the job. I don’t know which person that was.

I don’t think ownership of car or who was on duty are relevant. You are a team, it was an accident, you need to work together to sort out the best way of doing things.