OK I've NC as this is really outing but I've had enough. I feel really mean for writing this but I just want to know if you think I'm being unreasonable.
It happens all the time. I'm a loner but for some weird reason I seem to attract a certain type of person.
First is my friend C. Shes separated and now divorcing her husband and has two kids and she is constantly on at me. By her own admission she can't stand being alone. But because I'm actually a loner, this is really difficult. She cooks meals and then invites me round to eat and when I say no she says "but I cooked extra for you 😣". She is constantly complaining - I understand her life is complicated but its constant. I introduced her to a friend of mine and she decided to pursue him. He said from the get go he was not interested in a serious relationship. Despite being told again and again by him, and fby him, she continues to get upset every time he is unavailable. I have told her nicely that she needs to learn to appreciate time on her own, and after so many years with her dickhead ex, she needs to stop making men the core focus of her life. Because of this I find her really draining a lot of the time. She needs to be in constant text contact every day. As soon as a conversation starts by text she will try and push me into doing something with her. She had a really minor operation and kept sending texts about how nobody cared enough to go around and see her - so clearly I will "have" to.
I should point out that I know this sounds mean because im ranting here, but I try to do my best my her but its just never enough. It also goes completely counter to who I am as a person. I have lots of other friends where there are no issues - we see ewch other once a week say and no real texting in between. I come away from seeing her feeling drained and deflated.
Its a similar situation with an old woman who lives in the flat below me. A few times I've had long conversations with her in the hallway and she has asked me over for coffee. I understand shes lonely. I have a lot of work on at the moment and also as something of a secret introvert I need a lot of alone time. What the neighbour has started doing is intercepting all my parcels so I have to go around and have a cuppa and collect them.
In both these situations I get it, I really do, and my heart does go out to them hence why things have gone so far. But I'm just getting frustrated now and also resentful as I feel like I'm being used to soothe other people's emotional issues with little regard seemingly for what type of person I am and what I might want. With my friend C, I'm angry as I feel manipulated into a deeper level of friendship than I want.