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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To walk out of work. Will they fire me?

98 replies

AtSea1979 · 06/10/2018 22:45

I left work today. I had an accident as was being sick and ran out after that. I messaged boss to say I had to pop home and would be back then I called an hour later to say I wouldn’t be back after all as still being sick. Been poorly for a while and I know colleagues have been bitching about the amount of time off I’ve already had. I work in care so they can easily twist it and say I neglected my duties and walked out. Not told boss why I left just that I was poorly, again.
What should I tell them tomorrow?

OP posts:

MrsJBaptiste · 07/10/2018 09:58

I really don't think you can be sacked or disciplined. A dozens days off in 2 years is nothing

Assuming this could be 10 or 12 separate occasions, this is a ridiculous amount of time of sick. We have a meeting if we're off for more than 3 times in a year and I thought this was pretty standard. Nothing ever comes of the meeting (from what I've seen) but it keeps an eye on those who are off much more than others.

Billben · 07/10/2018 10:02

I’ve got Crohn’s so I know all about crapping yourself. And I also work in care (ideal place as we have toilets around every corner). But never in my wildest dreams would I just walk out on the residents and my colleagues without saying something to somebody just because I crapped myself. You could have cleaned yourself up in the toilets, borrowed some clothes (there are always spares in our laundry) and a pad and then gone from there. Maybe not sacked but you should definitely be disciplined to make you realise that you cannot just walk out of a job like that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/10/2018 10:11

Idk what is going to happen but if you are regularly being sick and awaiting investigation, I think it would be prudent to have a couple of change of clothes at work.

If you are too ill, yes, you’re going to need to stay at home. I haven’t worked in a company for years now but I don’t understand why ever separate incident would be a separate incident. By this reckoning you’d be better to get signed off by your gp until you can get the vomiting under control.

What sort of wash facilities do they have there? Some places of work have showers.

spidey66 · 07/10/2018 10:16

While what you did was wrong, I can sympathise. I had similar difficulties for years, and was wrongly diagnosed with IBS. Turned out I had a fibroid the size of a 7 month pregnancy which it seems was pressing on a muscle or nerve or something. I've had a hysterectomy since and have been fine.
However I will never forget how embarrassing the symptoms were....unless you've been in the situation, it's difficult to imagine the shame of it.

Fuckedoffat48b · 07/10/2018 10:27

OP it may help if you provided a bit more information about the nature of your illness as context is everything here. I am presuming something like coeliac disease which could mean you have occasional bouts of vomiting and loose bowels and appointments to attend, but aren't contagious. Am I barking up the wrong tree?

Alwa · 07/10/2018 10:42

Do you shit yourself and went home to change?

I'd say that was quite an essential thing to do but would likely still get a disciplinary at my work

strawberrypenguin · 07/10/2018 10:51

You should have made someone aware before you left. No one especially someone who works in care should be abandoning their place of work without letting someone know before they go offsite.

Billben · 07/10/2018 10:51

*Do you shit yourself and went home to change?

I'd say that was quite an essential thing to do *

In OP’s line of work the essential thing to do is making sure the residents’ safety and needs are put first. You cannot just walk out of a job like that and not expect consequence. OP could have handled this a whole lot better.

SD1978 · 07/10/2018 10:53

Was it poop or just vomit?

EmperorTomatoRetchup · 07/10/2018 11:00

I messaged boss to say I had to pop home and would be back then I called an hour later to say I wouldn’t be back after all as still being sick.

See, this course of action or perhaps more clearly the way you've phrased things, makes it look off. If someone said, 'I need to pop home' I would assume that they meant they were going to stick something in the oven, peg some washing out or some other non essential task rather than a sudden onset of an illness.

Calling a second time to say you were ill after thst vague first message may well scream to your boss, got home found a decent afternoon film or whatever and decided to sag the rest of the day off regardless of what actually happened.

Don't think I am unsympathetic, I have IBS and have been in your situation, but I'd never just run away. It is not fun having to tell a colleague you've shat yourself, but I would never do what you did in simply going off without telling anyone. I realise you were probably panicking a bit and hindsight is a wonderful thing, but really, what made you think just wandering off would be a good idea?

FanciedAChangeToday · 07/10/2018 11:07

Did your manager respond?

PeakTrans · 07/10/2018 13:54

I would be shocked if you weren't disciplined such as a formal warning for walking out.

Firesuit · 07/10/2018 14:25

A dozens days off in 2 years is nothing.

I started my first full-time job in January 1986, and I haven't had a total of a dozen days off since then. More than half my total was caused by one bout of (I would guess) Norovirus.

PattiStanger · 07/10/2018 14:34

What exactly do you mean by being sick - are you talking about vomiting or using sick to mean you were unwell for some other reason.

It's impossible to advise you if you're not being clear about what happened.

WomblesAreCommon · 07/10/2018 14:59

Are you sure there’s nothing that covers this? My work has a sickness policy that says if taken ill at work you need to ask a manager before leaving.

Redglitter · 07/10/2018 15:03

My work are great if you take ill during a shift. I've had to in the past and I've just said I need to home and told them why.

If I just got up and left there would be serious consequences and I'd expect to be facing disciplinary proceedings

You can't just walk out half way through your working day without giving someone a heads up. I can't believe anyone would think that was in any way acceptable

PietariKontio · 07/10/2018 15:29

So I've read this as you having a gastric condition that's ongoing.

You then were on shift and were sick or had loose bowels and needed to leave.

You left but didn't tell anyone, until some minutes later by phone.

You were then planning to come back but continued to be ill so couldn't and rang to let them know.

Due to this condition and other factors you've had about a dozen days sick in two years, you don't think this is too much.

Right my take is this:

You should have let someone know before going. However embarrassing that might be its unavoidable.

If it's not contagious and might be repeated then you should bring in spare clothes and wash kit, so that you could take some time out, clean up and carry on. Chat to your manager about this.

12 days off in 2 years, especially if you have a long term condition isn't a lot. However, that's only the case if your employer doesn't see it as a capability issue. Having an honest dialogue with them, about your condition and during each incident, is vital.

Being strict isn't twisting things in care. I've worked in care for 30 years. It's an amazingly stretched and pressured 'business' where not having enough staff can have serious consequences. However, I've had my health issues, but have found most employers are reasonable if you follow my advice in point 3

cookiesandchocolate · 07/10/2018 16:51

Tbh if I had all the problems you did OP, I would come to work prepared with extra uniform and underwear and wipes, purely to avoid having to leave work. As you state, you weren't contagious and it wasn't a bug, therefore, you acted unprofessionally.

Being a single parent is hard but 12 days off in 2 years is rather a lot (I've had 2 days off in 2 years with 2 preschool children) but that is just purely luck and pushing myself when I probably should have been at home.

What has your boss said about it all?

Greatbigterribleshart · 07/10/2018 19:49

I think the issue here is you didn't speak to anyone you just went which is a huge safeguarding issue in care because it would have left the company short staffed.

crispysausagerolls · 08/10/2018 10:50

You are in the wrong job

tazzle22 · 09/10/2018 19:26

Pietarikontio says it very succinctly and gives the advice i would have.

I have IBS and when its bad can not make it to the loo in time several times a week. I wear protection, have changes of underwear etc. Even when i have not had anything with me ive disposed of underwear and gone commando ...never would i think of walking out on my colleagues and the people in my care without telling anyone.

To those who say they are embarrased by incontinence or vomitting and think it gives you carte blanche to leave work.... what sort of message does that give to the people you care for when they need help with pc. Do you reassure them accidents can happen to anyone and its ok , no need to feel bad.... whilst at the same time thinking its gross to have body fluids on your own clothes. How two faced ! You cant even say to a colleague... people who by the nature of the job should be understanding.

I too would be having a disciplinary meeting with you without question. If you had advised me by whatever means of your situation at the time it would depend on the care setting and staffing requirements as well as how sick you were as to what could be done and staff moved around etc.

The crux of the matter is leaving the site without negotiation with the manager.

Crystalblue13 · 09/10/2018 22:23

Have you spoke to your boss op? Hope everything’s ok

Sweetpea55 · 09/10/2018 22:29

What sort of accident did you have, that makes you bugger off home without telling anyone.

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