To bin DD's crap?

[UnderTheTree]

DD is entering her second year of University (away from home), and she's still got this crap sitting in the garage (I really want to make some more space)

There is all this shit that she accumulated though Secondary School, various school books (nothing sentimental, just year 11 geography text book etc), various jellewery type boxes, weird stuff picked up on holiday, LOTS of stationary (there must be like 10 pencil cases), kids chapter books, old hockey sticks, piles of CDs / DVDs and there's still a few toys out there amongst other stuff.

There there is this bloody mini type (kids design - bright colours etc) book shelf that my SIL (who's NC now) made for her nearly 20 years ago that she refuses to let me get rid of. I wouldn't say its hideous, however its faded and I don't exactly have any use for it.

I'm just sick of looking at the boxes. I don't mind keeping a couple of small boxes of sentimental things (first books at school, favourite dolls, school photos etc) but not a pencil case she used in 2012.

I've asked to sort through some of it over the summer but she never got round to it.

Did you clear away you all your kids stuff when they left home? Or am I being unreasonable?

I've got a pencil case that's all scribbled on in sharpie and probably looks like crap.

It's the scribblings of my best friend who died in 6th form. That's why I've kept it, but to anyone else it would look like a wrecked pencil case.

Please don't sort the stuff on her behalf.

My parents binned all of my 'crap'.

I have nothing from when I was younger now. Not one toy or piece of school work/art work.

It makes me feel pretty unloved if I'm honest.

I wouldn't classify being away at uni as moving out

You sound very harsh and uncaring. Your poor DD must feel as though you can't wait to get rid of her. Going to Uni is hardly the same as leaving home.

My grandparents chucked loads of my mum's stuff out without asking her if anything was special to her. She still feels hurt and resentful over 60 years later!

If you lived in a small flat or something I would see your side more. But you are lucky enough to have a garage, many people don't. Surely you can spare a small corner of it for your daughter's stuff?

And like pps say, she hasn't even left home properly yet. Maybe she would like to keep the handmade bookcase for her own dcs one day, she could repaint it then. Something made specially for her surely has sentimental value?

My Mum was moaning the other day about the amount of my brother's stuff that is still in her loft - he will be 40 next year! He has a family and home (with loft) of his own. But she would never bin his stuff without speaking to him first.

My husband has mountains of crap in MIL's loft. She makes noises about him collecting it but I'm don't want it here either. I wish she'd just bin it. I guess he's 36 now and that GCSE coursework could come in handy any time...

It's a bit harsh having such a go at the op!
Op, don't worry, I'm sure you love your daughter, aren't kicking her out, and value your relationship and I'm sure she knows that too.
I think an ultimatum to slim it down is fine, give her enough warning.

Give six months notice and then bin it. Send a reminder after 3 months.

My mother did this to me and I was horrified - even though I had my own home and family.

After carrying my daughter's crap from house to house for two house moves, I told her that I was binning the lot for the third move. I did and she has not missed or needed any of it.

Likewise my son. He took his crap away, but didn't have anywhere to store it, so he took car loads to the tip.

Yep, give notice, then a reminder, and chuck. You've done your bit but now that they are adults, our children have a responsibilty to manage their possessions and give us space........for all the crap, books, toys etc for our grandchildren.