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AIBU?

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Original poster

WWYD if your DC needed taking to the toilet during lunch?

52 replies

SputnikBear · 05/10/2018 22:17

At a farm attraction today with my DC. Sitting having lunch in the outdoor seating area next to the food kiosks when the mum behind us decided to pull out a potty and encourage her DC to shit in it right beside families who were eating. Several people commented loudly how disgusting it was considering there was a toilet in the corner of the seating area, picked up their food and moved as far away as possible.

The mum in question loudly announced that she was on her own with two DC and had food on the table, so couldn’t just take one of them to the toilet, and people should be more tolerant. And proceeded to leave the shit filled potty in full view on the ground while she and her kids finished their lunch.

AIBU to think that people shouldn’t be expected to tolerate someone shitting next to them while they’re eating? And WWYD if you were that mum and your DC needed to go during lunch?

OP posts:
slippermaiden · 05/10/2018 22:18

I have been in that situation, you all go to the loo! How revolting 😒

Laac · 05/10/2018 22:19

If I were that mum I would take the kids with me and ask someone to keep an eye on the table. What she did was appalling and she should have been asked to leave. A huge breach of health and safety (not to mention everything else) for other visitors.

If I had been there I would have complained and left immediately. There really are no circumstances in which what she did was in any way acceptable.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/10/2018 22:22

Revolting. Take the children to the toilet before lunch!

annikin · 05/10/2018 22:22

Not acceptable. As a mum with two little dds a while back, I hated eating out with dc by myself for that reason. But whenever I had to, it was a rule that everyone went to the toilet before getting the food, even if they thought they didn't need it. Worst case, I got the family on the next table to watch our food while I took everyone to the toilet. There are alternatives to that - that's ridiculous!

BrokenWing · 05/10/2018 22:22

Making sure they went to loo before eating meant I was never in that situation, although I guess no matter how much you prepare doesn't guarantee it wouldn't. There is no way I would let my child have a shit in an eating area, I would have asked another parent to watch our food and taken him to the toilet.

If I had witnessed it happening I would have moved and told a member of staff so they could deal with her.

upsideup · 05/10/2018 22:22

No YANBU, not only is it disgusting for the other customers whilst they are eating I wouldnt want my child old enough to be out of nappies undressing and going to the toilet in front of a crowd of stranger.
I would take both DC to the toilet and leave the food on the table, possibly asking staff or people on the table next to you if they could watch it or if the other child was old enough I would leave them at the table.

ileclerc · 05/10/2018 22:24

Properly grim. I would have taken both kids and asked someone to watch the food / table.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 05/10/2018 22:31

It wasn't her fault that her child needed a pop, but it's a shame that she didn't feel able to ask anyone for help to "mind the table" while they went to the loo.
I would wonder if people have refused to help previously, and also have offered to keep an eye on the table while she either went to the loo or emptied the potty.

Original poster
SputnikBear · 05/10/2018 22:33

Full disclosure: I picked up our food and moved away with my DC. I didn’t say anything though. Others were more vocal. I did think it was a difficult situation for her with two DC, bags, buggy, coats off, food on the table outdoors, and one DC screaming for the toilet. But I think I’d have taken both DC to the loo and asked a neighbouring parent to watch our stuff. Was wondering if I was BU to be disgusted and annoyed.

Shortly afterwards I witnessed another mum holding her DC to publicly wee in a flower bed instead of walking ten minutes back to the main building to use the facilities. Was debating if I’m just snobby or if some people are just gross.

OP posts:
TrueBlue22 · 05/10/2018 22:36

I think people are just disgusting. A group of volunteers in my area have been planting flowers and placing the pots around the local area, one of the volunteers witnessed a woman getting her child to wee into one of the flower pots then gave a load of abuse when challenged! Makes me fear for what their children will turn out like if they grow up thinking that’s normal behaviour Hmm

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/10/2018 22:41

Ya should of picked it up and placed it upside down on her head, that would've learned the dirty bitch .

It is rank, poor child too, no privacy given (but mainly it is rank)

Maryann1975 · 05/10/2018 22:42

She should definitely have asked another parent (or a more general ask to several family groups sat around her table for extra security) to watch the table/food/buggy/coats, while taking the dc and anything valuable (like her bag) to the toilet.

I can’t bleieve anyone thinks it is acceptable to let their child shit on a potty in an eating area. Grim.

Onlyfamandclosefknow · 05/10/2018 22:43

Disgusting. Surely people weren't going to steal their lunches whilst she took them to the toilet!

GreenTulips · 05/10/2018 22:45

Well whilst not great - you were at a farm!

PinkHeart5914 · 05/10/2018 22:46

Thing is she could of said to another family “my little one needs to loo would you mind watching our food to make sure nobody clears it away” the families would of been sitting there anyway so like anyone would say no!

Alternatively you take your dc to the loo before ordering food

randomchap · 05/10/2018 22:46

FFS, that's just disgusting. When the younger needed to go when I was out with them both, I'd take him. The elder could happily sit at a table for a few minutes while we took care of business. We regularly had other parents offer to keep an eye on the elder if needs be.

Bringonspring · 05/10/2018 22:47

Two minds on this one, optimally of course go to the loo but I have a son who use to tell me he needed a poo literally at the point of no return, I would have tried to have run as far as I good though

I wouldn’t have left it on view though.

Did anyone offer to help her?

sunsandandwaterslides · 05/10/2018 22:49

I was at a similar place last weekend, on my own with two toddlers. Youngest who is only just two announced she needed to do a wee. I scooped them both up, took my phone and purse. Left everything else on the table and went to the toilet. Who was going to steal some peanut butter sandwiches and Pom bears?

I did however have an awful incident after swimming when my son was potty training. He was petrified of toilets but would happily go on the potty. I took it into the pool and left in the locker. When we were getting changed, I asked him if he needed to do a wee. I let him wee on the potty , in the changing cubicle. I didn't see it coming. He did a massive, sloppy poo in the potty. I was mortified. I then had to carry it through to the toilet. I was so apologetic to the other people in the changing room. Mostly mums with young children. Lesson learnt.

MicroManaged · 05/10/2018 22:50

The poo is completely gross.

However: holding her DC to publicly wee in a flower bed instead of walking ten minutes back to the main building to use the facilities

This is me. My boys have weed in many a bush/flowerbed/wooded area over the years. The only difference is you’d never have seen it though.

Iloveacurry · 05/10/2018 22:51

That’s disgusting. She should of asked someone to mind their table/food, and gone to the toilet.

NoSquirrels · 05/10/2018 22:51

Oh FFS - everyone’s been in a tricky situation with small DC where you need to make a quick decision and there’s never a good reason to not take your DC to the toilet - ask a neighbouring parent who will almost certainly have been in that situation once themselves and be happy to help. Or ask a staff member. Don’t let your kid shit in an eating area. Bleurgh.

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 05/10/2018 22:52

That’s disgusting. The obvious is try to pre-empt by going before lunch, if they still need to go during then ask a nearby table to watch the food so it’s not thrown away and take all the kids to the loo.

Shopkinsdoll · 05/10/2018 22:52

What a dirty vulgar thing to do! I would have got a member of staff. Why did she think this was acceptable?

EwItsAHooman · 05/10/2018 22:54

My actions would depend on the age of the DC and location of the toilets.

Toilets visible from the dining area and DC old enough to hop on/off the loo on their own? I'd either send them to the toilet, watching for them going in/coming out, and tell them to be as quick as possible or for younger child I'd go over to the door of the toilets so that I could prompt him/her while keeping an eye on the DC still at the table.

Toilets not visible from the dining room? I'd ask a member of staff or the people next to us to keep an eye on our food/the table and we'd all go.

If we're somewhere that isn't particularly dodgy or it's a relatively closed environment (like a farm) then I let DD (7yo) and DS (4yo) go to the loo together while I stay at the table with other DD and other DS (or in the reverse situation I let them sit at the table while I pop to the loo with the other two but they are very sensible, 7yo DD especially so, and I trust them not to wander off).

cadburyegg · 05/10/2018 22:54

YANBU we potty trained DS1 when DS2 was 6 weeks old but I still never whipped out a potty in a picnic area. I have whipped out a potty or taken him off to do a "wild wee" in a more discrete area, however, especially if I was bf DS2 at the time/the toilets were too far away/I was pretty sure we wouldn't make it in time for whatever reason.

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