Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD if your DC needed taking to the toilet during lunch?

52 replies

SputnikBear · 05/10/2018 22:17

At a farm attraction today with my DC. Sitting having lunch in the outdoor seating area next to the food kiosks when the mum behind us decided to pull out a potty and encourage her DC to shit in it right beside families who were eating. Several people commented loudly how disgusting it was considering there was a toilet in the corner of the seating area, picked up their food and moved as far away as possible.

The mum in question loudly announced that she was on her own with two DC and had food on the table, so couldn’t just take one of them to the toilet, and people should be more tolerant. And proceeded to leave the shit filled potty in full view on the ground while she and her kids finished their lunch.

AIBU to think that people shouldn’t be expected to tolerate someone shitting next to them while they’re eating? And WWYD if you were that mum and your DC needed to go during lunch?

OP posts:
Happyandshiney · 05/10/2018 22:57

This stuff is just about being organised - take your D.C. to the toilet before lunch. Apart from anything they should be washing their hands before eating.

Original poster
SputnikBear · 05/10/2018 22:58

My boys have weed in many a bush/flowerbed/wooded area over the years
If everyone did that the place would quickly become a cess pit though...

Did anyone offer to help her?
Nope. Think she had already offended people by letting her DC shit next to them while they were eating.

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 05/10/2018 22:58

I've potty trained three of my own DC and four other DC while working as a childminder, I've also never gotten a potty out in public. We've done al fresco wees in a discrete place and swilled it with water afterwards when they've been caught short and can't hold it but have never felt the need to take a shit in a dining room.

EwItsAHooman · 05/10/2018 23:00

My boys have weed in many a bush/flowerbed/wooded area over the years

If everyone did that the place would quickly become a cess pit though...

It's no worse than dogs having a wee against a lamppost, a bush, or a wall. Small children get caught short, can't keep it in until they get to a toilet, and sometimes need to have a quick wee somewhere convenient. We almost always have a bottle of water with us so I give it a quick swill afterwards but if we don't then the rain takes care of it sooner or later.

PorkFlute · 05/10/2018 23:02

The potty was gross but I couldn’t get worked up over a young child having an al fresco wee. They might not have lasted the 10 min walk so would you rather they wet themselves?
And everyone’s not going to do it. I would walk the 10 minutes if it was for me! My older kids would also refuse to go outdoors unless they were half way up a mountain or something and there was no choice.

MicroManaged · 05/10/2018 23:02

A cess pit? Because people do weed in various bits of greenery when far from a toilet? Okaaaayyyy....

Dermymc · 05/10/2018 23:02

Leaving it is rank, but my lo goes from zero to hero. 10 minutes and we'd have shit everywhere. Peeing in a bush is standard here too. Not regularly but sometimes needs must.

Stonebake · 05/10/2018 23:03

Ugh Jesus. Whereabouts are you op? I must remember never to visit Grin.

Obviously yanbu. That’s really, really disgusting.

I’m sure I read on MN about this happening at a beer garden too... Wonder if it’s the same family.

Solderingiron · 05/10/2018 23:06

Ugh disgusting, I hope to never do anything like this when my baby is older!
I have a friend who never brings her kids to the toilet while we are the restaurant/cafe/wherever with toilets, then we leave and 5 minutes later they need the toilet do she brings them into a hedge. I never understand why she never brings them to the toilet before we leave the restaurant!

bimbobaggins · 05/10/2018 23:10

This is truly disgusting, I thought I’d seen it all with the footage a couple of weeks ago with a woman pissing in the aisle of a plane because she couldn’t use the toilet but this is grim

thenightsky · 05/10/2018 23:31

I thought I’d seen it all with the footage a couple of weeks ago with a woman pissing in the aisle of a plane because she couldn’t use the toilet

WHAT???

Xmasbaby11 · 05/10/2018 23:37

That's just horrible. We never used a potty in public. I have often taken my 2 dc to the toilet when in the middle of a meal or whatever. You just grab a bag and leave everything else, it's not like anyone's going to nick your food. If i was on my own with them, we all went. Still true now and they are 4 and 6.

BlueberryPud · 05/10/2018 23:50

I've been on the receiving end of this behaviour also.

Sitting in a sport and social club, with my two dds aged 1 and 2, and the people we were sitting with had a 2 ish year old child who announced that he needed a poo. They whipped out a potty and sat him upon it Right in the middle of the sports and social club.

I was astounded. The club steward was a friend of mine, so I busybodily went to report this to her.

The club steward (who, by the way, had no children) sallied forth and asked them not to let their two year old child shit in the lounge bar.

"What's the harm? We brought our own potty!"

That was years ago, and we still see them out and about.
But to this day, I can't understand how they could ever think that was OK.

By the same token, they cannot understand what all the fuss was about. What irked me most about that was that my two year old had substantial and severe LD, but I would never have used that as an excuse to let her shit in public. She's now 30+ and is doubly incontinent and wears pads 24/7

However, I can quite confidently say that nobody, in a social setting, would ever know that. What annoys me greatly is that 'normal' kids are allowed, by some blasé parents, to empty their guts in public.

I spent most of the time when I was out socially to make absolutely sure that DIDN'T happen.

Normal child shits in a pot in public = what's the problem?

SN child shits nappy in public = Embarrassment all round.

Soz. Rant over

bimbobaggins · 06/10/2018 09:18

Yes the nightsky it’s disgusting. I don’t know how to link it ( or would I really want to) but its a news item if you google it

Whereartthouname · 06/10/2018 09:27

I seen a grown woman pee in a new garden bed that had been done up by the council. She was fishing with her kids im guessing they were around 10 years old. She didnt care that i was right there at the picnic table. She was asian so im guessing she was foreign and didnt know where the loos were but geez.. atleast go hide in the Bush. Hope i dont sound racist. Anyway the poop thing is gross but the wiz in the flower beds.. iv been there with my ds who has a massive phobia of public loos. He will only use big ones (disabled) not closed in stalls. He is 5 with the mental capacity of a 3 year old. Asd and gdd. And one time i did have to scoot off i the bush with him not long ago but i made sure noone saw us

Stonebake · 06/10/2018 09:49

What is wrong with people? If you aren’t confident your dc can hold it for long enough to get to the loo, then put them in training pants or a nappy. There’s really no need for this at all.

We’ve all been there with potty training, but there’s a better answer than just letting them poo in the middle of the picnic area. Christ.

The wee in the aisle of the plane thing is grim. Why couldn’t she use the loo though? If there were none available on board and it was a long flight, I imagine that was her only option.

Stonebake · 06/10/2018 09:51

And YY; scooting off to a bush in desperate circumstances is what most sensible people would do.

Pooing in front of everyone while they’re eating so that they have to move and some of them have a cross word to you about it though? Can you imagine how humiliating that must be for the child? Stupid mother.

BIgBagofJelly · 06/10/2018 09:53

WTF? You take the potty to the toilet. If it's a sudden emergency you at least run away to the nearest bush or something. That is so grim.

FriedEggs1 · 06/10/2018 09:54

Just rank. Wonder if she'd have minded if it was someone else who did this. She could have asked someone to watch her shit (scuse the pun) for 10 minutes while they went to the toilet.

Notquiteagandt · 06/10/2018 10:49

Did u see the photo of someone doing this on a plane thats gone viral this week 🤢🤮🤢 wtf is wrong with people

Eeevvvveee · 06/10/2018 11:41

In England that's shocking. It most of Asia/many parts of Europe, it's totally normal behaviour.

Stonebake · 06/10/2018 11:47

Really? I’ve lived in two European countries (other than the uk) and have never seen (or smelt) anything like this. Thank fuck.

LakieLady · 06/10/2018 12:15

I'd have lost my shit if I'd been there. Totally gross, and unnecessary.

Looneytune253 · 06/10/2018 12:29

Disgusting!! Seriously people have no idea!!

also don’t understand those who let their little ones wee everywhere too. More so when there are toilets not too far away. It’s an important part of toilet training teaching them to wait a little bit. Fair enough maybe not in the first couple of weeks of potty training but after that they should be able to wait a few minutes.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 06/10/2018 12:31

I was having lunch in a restaurant a few months ago and a mother changed her baby's nappy right there on the floor, with people (including us) eating all around her. She was by herself with a toddler too so I'm guessing she took the easiest route, but I thought it was rank.