that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

[Polkadotdash]

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

I have a family member who is the head teacher of a very good local school.

It seems a lot of parents choose to move home without giving ‘adequate’ consideration to whether their children will be accepted. It’s really not a given that there will be spaces if your child is joining after the initial reception/ year 7 intake. Places aren’t even guaranteed for children who are born within the catchment area never mind moving into it.

But yet parents move house anyway and then complain when the school can’t accommodate (not saying this is you- just that it is happening ALOT and schools are taking a 0 tolerance approach to it).

Planning your kids school situation should be just as much a consideration when house buying as whether there’s subsidence or enough bedrooms!!!

In London I see small uniformed primary children often with even younger siblings by themselves walking or on the bus going to school without parents or nanny. Would this be illegal ?

*Theres currently a village near us (moderate sized - has a big sainsburues etc) where housing developers were in the process of building 5000 new homes.

Big 4/5 bedroom posh mini manors, but the next phases recently got halted as whilst the council had given permission, no provisions had been apprived to expand the local schools or doctors surgery.

So they’d let them build a couple of thousand houses already without any provisions been made!!!

My brother was looking to buy and was told all this by the sales agent of a big developer.
When he asked what was going to happen as local high school was already oversubscribed the guy said, ‘there’s always the private school’ 🙈😂

This September all the new movers tried to get their kids into the local school to be told they’d either need to travel miles and miles or pay £16,000 a year!

I will never ‘trust’ the government to be sensible again!!

Planning your kids school situation should be just as much a consideration when house buying as whether there’s subsidence or enough bedrooms!!!

This sounds very smug. So all the people to whom we cry ‘ltb’ we should add, ‘as long as there are school places at your mums house’ ?. Some people move to where they can afford.
850 per month, walking distance from a bus route to be able to get to school and work.

There is a school place shortage but the solution is not being sanctimonious.

I really sympathise OP, I was in a similar position.

2 dcs at the same school but one with 1:1 TA due to SN.

The only way to school was a bus that, due to the timetable, would get us there either 55 minutes early or 5 minutes late. One bus, once an hour.

I was forced by the school to take them in early and use the breakfast club which cost £12 a day - 1x£4 for one dc, double for dc with SN due to extra supervision required. EXCEPT the 1:1 couldn't start before school start time so I had to stay at the school with dc until the start of school to supervise. Despite paying £12 A DAY for the privilege of using the breakfast club. They threatened to report me and reduce my SN dc's timetable if I was late so I had no choice but to use the breakfast club.

I ended up falling behind with the payments (no surprise as a single parent on benefits) and the school 'forgot' to notify me so I wound up with a CCJ. Thanks for that, arseholes

If I had the chance again I would just let them be late and tell the school to go screw themselves

habibihabibi - I'm pretty sure there's no legal age for walking to school, normal reasonableness would apply imo

Is there another school in the area that will take all 3?

shark that's truly dreadful ,I'm so sorry you went through that .

Why do pp post asking questions and making suggestions with no reference to what's already been said/explained ?

Is it to do with reading on a phone and difficulting scrolling back ?

I think I will try to talk to both schools again and perhaps ask about if they would accept me making a small payment. £1000 a year is a lot of money for 5 mins per day.
I’m not so keen to try to ask for favours firom other parents. Maybe I might get to know someone eventually who might be able to trade drop offs with.
Also - my OH works permanent early shifts so he can’t do drop offs.
And the nearest school with three places in the right year groups was too far away. My kids would never make any friends locally if I put them there.
Also - just to add I had a hell of a time getting through the application systems with the council when I was moving. It was basically like playing poker. Whoever said it was like rolling the dice was spot on.
I spent nine months pestering them for places as two of the applications could not be considered as in Year transfers. Up until the week before term started I only had one confirmed place. I’ve not rocked up here and gone ‘right, where’s the nearest school’. I’ve tried and tried to get a workable solution but you get what you’re given (sometimes at 3pm on the day before term starts).

So is your Year 3 on a waiting list fir the school the other 2 are at?

Year 3 is out of Infant Class Size so I’d be pushing for an appeal to be honest- no chance of that?

How far away from your home are the respective schools?

He is on the waiting list, but to be honest I don’t like that school. The junior school where he is, is miles better and he has fitted in so well. He’s always been a child that has struggled with school but he’s making progress already. I don’t want to spoil that

It's a crappy situation op I feel for you. I'm sure you've thought of everything you could possibly do to make it less stressful and unpleasant so I won't add to the "have you tried this" and "why haven't you done that" You asked if you were being unreasonable. You're not, both schools are. Sometimes they just need to show a bit of humanity.

seems a lot of parents choose to move home without giving ‘adequate’ consideration to whether their children will be accepted

Given how few properties are on the market atm if you are moving areas it is hard enough trying to find a house that is actually for sale let alone matching it up with a school that has available space.

The year 6 child walks themselves to school. You take the year 3 to arrive on time at their school, then the reception child can be 5 mins late.

What a stressful situation OP :( been trying to think of fresh ideas, the only one I can think of is there any shops/cafes near the school for your 7 year old? I know u said u don't like dropping him and him waiting alone but if he had a £1 to buy a drink or something and loiter in cafe/shop until gates open, and maybe give him a cheap mobile phone to talk to your eldest child so you know he's safe, while you are driving the other two to school. Might sound daft but I just know there's a shop opposite our school and it was the best I could think of x

Make sure that officious parent sees you rock up in your pyjamas and slippers one day. You may as well treat yourself to a laugh in between the tears.

Would you think about looking for another parent in the same boat and sorting out a quid pro quo arrangement so you could each help each other?

Nothing to add except say it's shit OP. I have DCs at 2 different schools. 1 recognises that parents work and open 25 minutes early to help, this is on my way to work. The other will only ooen the gate 10 minutes before they have to go in with zero supervision and is by my house. If I leave later to enable child at nearest school to not have to hang around, I will end up late for work by the time I park and take the other child in. As it is, my eldest has to leave early, take himself and hang around outside the gate. Thankfully he is old enough to do this but I don't really like it.

Some schools seem hell bent on not even trying to be a little bit helpful. And it has nothing to do with childcare.

In your situation I would continue to let one child get a late mark and every time it was raised as an issue, I'd email detailing exactly why you won't accept this and it is down to their refusal to be a little bit understanding.

Absolutely no way would I leave a 7 year old anywhere that wasn’t inside a supervised playground. Much rather they were safe and late, can’t bear to think about the alternative. I’d just go with being late at one or the other school, and if challenged I’d keep putting it in writing and copying in the education department.

How people think you can take responsibility for this problem without the funds to pay for before/after school clubs is beyond me. Talk about being set up to fail. They may as well tell you you’ll get a late mark each time you do the school run without travelling via the moon, as that is equally impossible to do. It’s not Star Trek with a transporter to beam you where you need to be.

What's the worst that can happen if you keep doing what you're doing? As long as your DC doesn't feel humiliated it really isn't a problem.

seems a lot of parents choose to move home without giving ‘adequate’ consideration to whether their children will be accepted

You can give as much consideration as you like. Most LEA’s you can’t apply until you are registered for council tax. You can email every school and find out who has places. If you are very, very lucky you may find a school that isn’t in special measures that has a place in the required year.

You then plan your move, say it takes the supposed average of 12 weeks. In which time someone else has moved into the area and taken the school place. So you’re back to the drawing board.

As for getting more than one child in the same school, might as well start playing the lottery.

I moved. Every school within a 5 mile radius was oversubscribed with a wait list. We were reasonably lucky that the school 5 miles away that we were offered was a good school at least. But because it’d improved in recent years, they’d become in demand. So while there were year 4/5/6 places, anything below was full. So again, good luck getting more than one in.

3 years later and no school place nearer has come up. Made worse that we have catchment areas here so anything other than our catchment school we are at the bottom of the waiting list.

If your preferred school is where your Yr3 goes, is there a linked infant school where you could send your R child? And if so, I assume they are on the waiting list?

Sorry OP, this sound like a right pain in the arse. There are some sensible suggestions made on the thread on reduced rates for breakfast club, permission to use the staff car park etc that might help. I’d also suggest you start asking kids back for play dates so you can call in favours!

bloody hell, Itsnotabigthingisit - how more condescending can you be?

Because obviously life doesn't happen to you. You sit on your little smug mountain there.

Quite.