re 'creative' colleague

[Lydiaatthebarre]

Someone I work with has just had a telling off from her manager about the kind of clothes she wears to work - long hippy type skirts, flip flops, tie dyed t-shirts, huge jumpers with patterns and slogans.

She is now complaining that she is a creative person and her clothes reflect her personality and creativity and she doesn't feel comfortable in the 'type of clothes the rest of you wear' because she's artistic and needs to express this.

AIBU to think she's talking a load of rubbish. There are actually a few genuinely creative people in here who write, act or sell craftwork in their free time. They wear perfectly normal clothes to work, to reflect the job they do.

Is she one of those "I'm mad, me" types?

Imposing a dress code is OK, though it needs to be done officially, not just via an awkward "dressing down" about conforming to sartorial norms. What isn't OK is shaming or bullying someone for feeling uncomfortable with professional officewear. I'd wear anything reasonably required for any given job, though would nevertheless always prefer tie-dye than a tailored suit. It's just the way it is,

theres probably only a small amount of people who feel comfortable in smart workwear, but we still get on and wear it when we have to

if someone needs to talk to you about your workclothes, you need to accept that maybe what you are wearing is not really acceptable

I used to work somewhere that was very relaxed about clothing, but even there they had to put in some rules like wearing shoes, no beachwear, no slogans on clothing and covering your navel (after one very hot summer when the air con failed). I'm not sure that there is an awful lot that can be done about hippy skirts and tie-dye tops without introducing quite draconian rules that probably nobody wants.

A lot depends on whether you're customer facing or not. While my work was very relaxed generally if people were going out to clients or had clients in for a meeting they were expected to have proper trousers/skirt instead of jeans, blouse/shirt instead of t-shirt, shoes instead of trainers and a jacket if they needed an extra layer instead of a hoodie. Not as formal as a suit (although they could wear a suit if they wanted to) but more formal than rolling out of bed and pulling on whatever came to hand.

This is simple. Either there is an official dress code and she should adhere to it. Or there isn't and she can choose what to wear. It sounds like it's the latter in which case her clothes are fine (as long as they are not offensive or unsafe to wear). If she was customer facing presumably there would be a dress code, so I guess she isn't.
You just don't like her clothes, so you need to get over that and stop being so judgemental. Why do you even care. as long as she does her job, Perhaps her "I'm creative" justification was the only acceptable response she could think of when she had just had her personal clothing tastes criticised by another person. Especially if she only said that after being told by her manager (you can hardly say she marched in and insulted you). She may not like being a clone of "the rest of you". I would suggest to her that she leaves and finds another job where her colleagues aren't nasty bullies. Be honest with yourself about what's really going on here.

There's a long way between tight court shoes and flip flops. Flip flops and tie dye I taking the piss at work, the manager is not out of order saying that! And saying that her tie dye makes her more special than "the rest of you" pushes her into "oh shut up snowflake" territory

claraschu, I agree with DadDadDad's theory, actually. As a designer I find it a much better test of my/other designers' skill to have to work to a really constrained brief; a very limited palette, for example. It makes the challenge greater but a good designer will still come up with something exciting/interesting/cool.

If your managers want a say in how people dress for work then they should put a dress code in place. Otherwise they are just criticising someone's dress sense!

Yes

*is not I;
missing full stop, here it is. .

Unless her clothes interfered with her work or there is a dress code that she flouted, your manager had no right to tell her off about her clothes. The impression I get is that she is being targeted because she is different, which is not fair and is not particularly kind either. Her saying she dresses like this because she is creative is neither here nor there.

I agree that for customer facing roles different rules apply as you are representing your employer. Although I would argue that if a company wants you to project a certain image in your workwear they should provide you with a uniform.

Apart from that it’s no one else’s business what you wear as long as it’s clean, not offensive (slogans etc), and not likely to cause injury.

You’d think the manager would have more important things to occupy their time.

I hate the "I'm mad me but you'll get used to me" types. I wont, you'll get on my tits till the day one of us leaves.

I actually prefer when people get to e press their style (or lack of it in my case) in how they dress at work. I've always worked in fairly academic environments where there's a huge range from business wear to tracksuit trousers and hoodies. I liked it that way. That said if there's a dress code you abide by it and save your style statements for at home.

There’s no such thing as an unofficial dress code. There are either rules about what can wear to work, or there aren’t. If the only people bothered about her clothes are the people who work with her, then those people are no better than the cool kids at school picking on the kid who is different.

Unless there is some business reasonwhy she can’t dress the way she does, all you are doing is picking on her style and you've no place to decide what she should or shouldn’t wear, nor to decide whether her reasons for doing so are bullshit.

The company should definitely implement a dress code if they don't want employees wearing casual clothing - flip flops are particularly "unprofessional" looking.

As a PP said, there's nothing to stop her wearing bright colours -a friend who's a lawyer wears eye-popping fuschia or yellow jackets, bright blue skirts, etc. Tbh, I don't really like some of her outfits but it's her style and you certainly can't miss her in a crowd!

Of course there are unwritten rules, I don't have a dress code at work but having worked here for over 10 years I would say that everyone knows that it's really not wise to dress in tracky bottoms or ripped jeans for instance.

She very much sounds like a person who thinks they are creative but just a pain in the arse really! Love the 'I am mad, me' term

Just because you don't like the image someone projects or a particular "type" of person, does not excuse you treating them unfavourably in the workplace. Also it's not a real reason to dislike someone. As long as they get on with work, it should not matter. It would be very boring if everyone was the same and conformed to professional work attire 100% of the time. I can't see how long skirts, flip flops, jumpers with bright patterns is offensive. If someone enjoys dressing like that, why force them into dressing in clothes they hate, if it does not interfere with their work? It's good to have a few people who are different.

Flip flops and tie dye I taking the piss at work. Why is it? Does tie dye stop someone effectively doing their job?

And saying that her tie dye makes her more special than "the rest of you" pushes her into "oh shut up snowflake" territory. She never said special, she just isn’t conformist. Another adult is so offended by her being different they want her to conform to be like the others, just because they can’t bear it and you think she is the snowflake? That’s ridiculous.

OP, maybe your colleague is annoying, but I hate the way the world embraces tight, uncomfortable clothes and high heeled shoes, for instance, because current society has decided that they are "professional".

Agreed.

I don’t have a problem with the “I’m mad, me” brigade, they’re usually harmless enough. I do have a problem with sniggering mean girl clones though. Fortunately all the people I worked with were rugged individuals, good and bad. Made for an interesting day!

Flip flops and tie dye I taking the piss at work. Why is it? Does tie dye stop someone effectively doing their job?

That's the same argument of parents who think that the school uniform rules don't apply to their little darlings.

I thought that look was 20 years out of style.

I can't really see the problem unless she's customer facing and it's not in line with the brand, though. If the firm doesn't like it, an official dress code needs to be brought in.

I think without a dress code the manager may have problems enforcing this!

That's the same argument of parents who think that the school uniform rules don't apply to their little darlings

Except children have to adhere by a uniform policy. The OP has said there isn’t a dress code.

I would agree the woman in question would be unreasonable is she was deliberately flouting the official line, but she isn’t.

The real issue is that the company (presumably) doesn't have an
official dress code. If it did, employees would know the expectations - and they could either meet them or look for a job elsewhere.

I don't understand where the "mean girls" assumption is coming from. The employee hasn't been bullied, she's been asked by her manager to dress differently and is now complaining to anyone who'll listen.
She could've kept it to herself if she wanted to.