Getting up at weekends, AIBU

[MightyMagnificentScarfaceClaw]

I have two DC, aged 9 and 6. At weekends they get up between 7 and 8 and go down and watch tv. I get up around 9, let them finish the programme they are on then switch off for breakfast. DP works long hours (as I do) and wants to stay in bed longer, and wants me to stay too, he thinks there’s no problem with DCs watching tv until 10 or 11. I think this is too long so I get up but he has a lie in. I get a bit resentful of this but maybe IABU as he’s not their parent. Should he get up too, should I carry on as I am, should I have more of a lie in too?

Our DC aged 6 and 9 don't tend to wake us when they get up at the weekends - usually around 7am.

They go and watch TV, play or read until they either get bored, fall out or one of us gets up. DD aged 6 often pops in and out of our room, DS aged is usually glued to the telly.

They're allowed to help themselves to breakfast foods - but no toaster and no grapes.

DP and I usually get a cuppa and take it back to bed around 8 or half past. Our weekend mornings are often a bit lazy TBH but I really need it and I don't think our DC feel lonely, bored or unloved. They know where we are if they need anything.

SpottingTheZebras maybe not if they can hear their step Dad doing Sting impression with their mum next door...

So the kids aren't your partners and you expect him to help with parenting? Personally I wouldn't be leaving a 6 and 9 year old alone for a long period of time. When my kids are up I'm up too. You can sleep in every other weekend.

Keep things as they are - you getting up at 9 and leaving your DP in bed if that's where he wants to be. If you don't want to stay in bed to "lie in" then don't. This is less about the DC fending for themselves and more about him wanting to get his leg over. Remind him that you and the DC come as a package and that on the weekends they're at yours you want to prioritise them. I do think YABU to expect him to get up at 9am, unless you have some activity planned that his staying in bed is disrupting.

10 is just about ok but not 11.

Weekend mornings are relaxed in this house especially if they've had a busy week at school. Who wants to be dragged out first thing in the morning? There's plenty of time late morning/afternoon/early afternoon to do stuff.

maybe not if they can hear their step Dad doing Sting impression with their mum next door...

Very true! In fact, that will probably get them downstairs quicker than anything else!

If you don’t see them every other weekend, do you really want to waste half the day lying in bed on the days you do see them?

There's no lying about Dora, DP wants 3 hours of sex!

My DC are 11 and 7. DS 7 will come into our room when he wakes up at about 6 and turn his tablet on quietly, as our room is the only one that can pick up the free BT WiFi from the street, he doesn't wake me up, DD 11 usually sleeps until about 7.30. DS2 and I go for breakfast in the Sainsbury's café at 8 when it opens, DD stays at home because she doesn't eat breakfast at weekends.

When you get up in the morning is an entirely subjective thing.

You will receive very little useful advice on this beyond people who agree and people who disagree, for whatever reason.

Do what makes you happy. If your DP is unhappy with this, or you are unhappy with your DP, have an adult conversation about it and reach a compromise, whatever that looks like. It could be alternating lie ins. It could be based on what the plan for the day is. It could be based on how horny either of you feel on a particular morning. Either way, from my perspective it's a conversation that's best done with your partner, rather than strangers on the internet.

I too don't understand the concept of lying about in bed for so much of the precious weekend. I like being with the children and if I only had eow I would be getting up with them . I like cooking breakfast and straightening the kitchen anyway. I also think I would feel awkward because it feels slovenly and thus a bad example and also because it could be construed by the children that I would rather be in bed with bf than up and about.

You get up and he has a lie in/wank. He's being ridiculous wanting to shag until then with your kids in the house awake.

There's no lying about Dora, DP wants 3 hours of sex!

even worse!

Encourage your children to have a long lie in too, preferably until 11am.
It will happen soon enough anyway, good idea to get them into training for that now :-).

Unfortunately, that never happened with DS 28.

Encourage your children to have a long lie in too, preferably until 11am.
It will happen soon enough anyway, good idea to get them into training for that now :-).

Just so you can lay in bed and fuck? Good god. 'Stay in bed half the day because my partner wants to shag for hours.' It's two weekends a month. He can grow the fuck up and save the marathon morning sex for the weekends they're not there or have it at night.

No, I don’t think it’s ok to stay in bed having sex until 11am while kids watch tv downstairs.

I think they're more than capable of getting their own breakfast, but as they are away EOW , you get a lot more time for long lie ins and adult time than lots of parents, you should be getting up to do family things at the weekend not leaving them in their PJs watching TV until nearly lunch time every weekend you have with them. I'm sure if their dad did this, so he could have sex with his partner, you'd find issue with it.

DH and I have 2 DDs of 9 and 6. Yes they would be capable of getting their own breakfast, but in practice, they need one of us downstairs to supervise. Even if it's just TV/iPad, they would fall out over something and there would be a shout of 'Muuummmmyyy!' or 'Daaaddddyyy!' and one of us would have to go downstairs.

Thankfully, our DDs are not early risers so they don't wake up all that early, but DH and I would never be able to just lie in bed together with them downstairs. I can't remember the last time we just lay in bed together in the morning, except when they're on a sleepover and we're on our own.

Yuk, what a horrible idea that your kids, who you only get EOW stay downstairs amusing themselves whilst you have sex with your DP. Please god just get up with them and make them the priority. You have FIFTY PERCENT of your weekends as adult only time where you cansm stay in bed all day if you please. Your DP is being very very selfish and so are you for a considering accommodating him.