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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if this is fair of my landlord to ask?

45 replies

sharkirasharkira · 04/10/2018 12:34

I have recently moved into a room in a shared house. It's lovely and I am happy to be here. I can't afford my own place at the moment so a room is the best I can get. Landlord also lives in the house but is often away.

However, when I signed the paperwork I noticed that there is a bit that requires me to not let anyone else stay in the room. Now, if this was to let people stay in the room without me I would totally understand that the landlord would be uncomfortable with that, but I can't have anyone else in the room at all Sad

I am single and although I'm not at the stage yet of wanting to meet someone new but it does make me wonder if it's fair? For all intents and purposes, this is my home, my private space, my entire life is in here. Surely it's not unreasonable that I should have 'overnight guests', or any guests on occasion? I'm on a very low income so going out to places all the time or paying for hotel rooms is not really an option.

Of course if I do meet someone I could always go to their place but they may be in a similar situation, and mine is really convenient in terms of proximity to the local town. Tbh in the future it just might be nice to hang out with someone in my own 'home'.

Of course it's the LL's home too and I will be respectful of that but is it fair to ask an adult not to have anyone round in their private space?

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/10/2018 12:37

I think it's fair tbh. I'm sure if you wanted a partner to stay over you could ask your landlord, but the clause is there to stop people from bringing in a different shagging partner every night.

NotANotMan · 04/10/2018 12:38

You're a lodger. You have far fewer rights than a tenant.
Maybe look for a proper houseshare rather than a lodging when you can.

WhiteCoyote · 04/10/2018 12:41

If you signed the contract after reading this then you’ve no right to question it to your landlord to be honest. You’ve already agreed.

I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t want strange people having access to home (apart from the lodger obviously).

bridgetreilly · 04/10/2018 12:42

I think it's fair, and it's also a good reminder to read contracts carefully before you sign them. Hopefully your landlord is a reasonable person and you can negotiate as and when a situation comes up, but I think they are entitled to say who can come into their home.

MrsExpo · 04/10/2018 12:44

Personally I think it is fair. I understand that the room is your home at present, but the LL lives there too and has the right to say who is, and is not, allowed to stay over in the room. It's not just that you have a "partner" in the room overnight (which the LL might find embarrassing, depending who it is and what you get up to!!) but that person will presumably want to use the bathroom, kitchen and other facilities which adds to overall costs. I wouldn't want to bump into a complete stranger on the landing of my own house.

Original poster
sharkirasharkira · 04/10/2018 12:48

I didn't have access to the contract before the day I moved in so I couldn't read it in advance although I did read it throughly when I got it. Due to my situation I really didn't have much choice but to agree. I was sofa surfing and technically homeless up until that point so I am grateful to be here at all! I have a proper tenancy agreement and a deposit in a scheme etc, not sure if that technically makes me a lodger or a tenant (doesn't really matter either way!)

But I do want to opportunity to have a relationship in the future and this seems like a barrier to that. I'm not a one night stand kind of person but I appreciate my LL doesn't know me that well Grin

OP posts:
NutellaFitzgerald · 04/10/2018 12:48

Imagine of you had a house and took in a lodger. Would you want to have no say in who gets access to your home? It's different to a shared house where everyone has a lock on their door.

By adding that into the contract the landlord or landlady reserves the right to refuse access to anyone. It doesn't mean you cant ask if you'd like someone staying over.

Respect that as a lodger you are living in someone's home.

Cornettoninja · 04/10/2018 12:49

I bet theyve been stung before either with disturbance or a ‘guest’ pretty much living there.

Have you enquired about one offs?

ileclerc · 04/10/2018 12:50

Totally fair and understandable tbh.

MeredithGrey1 · 04/10/2018 12:55

Obviously it would have been better to clarify this before signing, but when it becomes an issue I would just ask, because it might just be there for them to use if necessary? If it goes well, you have a good relationship with them, and you're a good tenant, it might be that if you approached them and said you were aware of the contract but could you have someone round occasionally, with the proviso they are never left in the house alone, that it wouldn't be more than one person, and that it could be revoked at any time, they might be ok with it. If they say no though, there's nothing you can do about it.

I once lived in a houseshare (landlord didn't live in the house) and she had a similar clause in the contract, but she basically told me that it was only there so that if anyone had someone round all the time, or had someone stay over that the other housemates didn't want around, she had the contract she could fall back on and enforce. As it turned out, it was never enforced because no one ever had any problems with any guests other people had. Obviously that's a different situation because the landlord didn't live there, but it still might be a clause they put in just in case.

Original poster
sharkirasharkira · 04/10/2018 12:56

I haven't @Cornettoninja because I'm not really into one offs, if I do want someone to stay over in the future it'll be a proper potential partner. I do have my own key and a door that locks fwiw.

The place is rented out as an Airbnb in season so the LL is presumably happy with people he doesn't know coming in and out of the house to an extent?

OP posts:
househunthappening · 04/10/2018 12:59

I think it is fair and the best thing you can do is wait until you've been there a while, hopefully everything ticks along nicely and then just ask you Landlord whether you could have someone stay overnight - whether that be a regular partner, occasional friends etc. Hopefully once he's got to know you and knows you'll be no trouble he will be happy to informally relax the clause a bit.

BigChocFrenzy · 04/10/2018 13:07

It's also because of utility costs and wear & tear.

As you probably don't have your own electricity or water meter, your LL might require a higher rent if there is a 2nd person who is there most nights.

Some people move in as singles, at a certain rent
then soon move in partner and possibly others

Talk to your LL if you find someone you'd like to invite for the night

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/10/2018 13:08

This is all academic. You need to have a significant other first. Then broach it with the ll.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 04/10/2018 13:10

Airbnb is different because the LL is taking a risk but gets remunerated in return.

I had a similar no visitors clause when I was a lodger but once my relationship (with my now-DH) was semi-serious LL was fine with me having DH staying over (I hadn't asked prior to then). You just need to ask.

Junkmail · 04/10/2018 13:10

Contracts are often standard and that clause is there to allow the landlord the right to refuse strangers access to their property. You can still ask and then it’s at the LL’s discretion. But this is their property, they are living there too and it’s perfectly fair that they don’t want people they don’t know staying there with you.

mumsastudent · 04/10/2018 13:11

don't forget that prospective partner might have their own place so it might not be an issue - but it doesn't stop visitors or say they cant come round? sadly there have been many incidences of people having long term partners come in & stay permanently & that is presumably what they are trying to stop. as you get to know ll it maybe that if you ask for occasional friend to visit he may be a bit less strict. Its similar to hostels really but with better/more homelike conditions. Its your first step into living independently really later on you may eventually find somewhere else when you can afford it. But it has taught you a good lesson for life - read conditions & contracts :)( I know in this case it may not have been possible so not blaming you here!)

AnotherDayAnotherDollarRight · 04/10/2018 13:13

Totally fair.

I've lived in a shared house. We had the same rule after one of the lads effectively moved his girlfriend in. It caused a problem with access to the bathroom, kitchen facilities and washing machine, as she was using them the same amount as the rest of us but paying nothing. She was also a proper pain, with endless rules about when you couldn't and couldn't cook meat as she was veggie!

DopeyDazy · 04/10/2018 13:13

I'm thinking of offering a room to let now im on my own,ideally someone working away so they go back home Friday to Sunday a non smoker non vaper and definitely no overnight guests. If its clear and you accept the terms then it's tough luck move or live with it.

LeftRightCentre · 04/10/2018 13:20

Sounds fair to me! I wouldn't want some random guy in my house. Lodging is different from having your own tenancy on a flat. That's the breaks.

Womaningreen · 04/10/2018 13:23

it's fair
just stick to it.

SallySangFroid · 04/10/2018 13:24

Totally fair and understandable. If I had a lodger I would do exactly the same. It’s nothing to do with whether or not it’s a ONS. I still wouldn’t like having my lodger’s bf staying over. She / he has agreed for you to stay there. If you start inviting other people to share your room it totally changes the dynamic in the home.

When you can rent somewhere of your own you can do what you like. So I would really focus on getting to that point.

lastqueenofscotland · 04/10/2018 13:24

Totally fair

Haireverywhere · 04/10/2018 13:26

I agree it's fair. This is why reading the contract matters but maybe you'd have moved in anyway?

53rdWay · 04/10/2018 13:28

Fair for a lodger situation. I have had landlords who wanted this for tenancies which I was Hmm about, but when you’re lodging you have far fewer rights in general.

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