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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or has my colleague been a bitch?

68 replies

QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 19:26

Colleague emailed a company that I had dealt with several times due to needing an invoice for accounts dept. I sent 3 emails all of them nice and explaining that I needed the invoice as soon as possible at no point was I rude. Colleague was not copied into any of the emails.

Today I receive a copied email from the company saying how sorry they were etc etc and invoice attached underneath my colleague had written an email giving the company feedback (for a different issue but included the lack of invoice issue) she also wrote that she apologised on my behalf as I can be a little abrupt.

I can indeed be abrupt in person however when I am trying to get something done I have never sent rude emails as I don't feel they are in any way productive.

So given she wasn't privy to my conversations was her comment a tad bitchy and unnecessary? Hmm

OP posts:
HotSauceCommittee · 03/10/2018 19:28

Pull her up on that shit and rip her a new arsehole.
Cheeky twat!

TedAndLola · 03/10/2018 19:30

The possibilities are

  1. your colleague is horrible and has put in a completely out-of-the-blue comment - one which reflects badly on your company - to a client
  2. someone from the company has mentioned you being abrupt with them, outside of that email trail, and your colleague referenced it in the email

I think 2 is much more likely. Particularly since the colleague didn't copy you in to see it, but the client copied you in and left her comment underneath.

MissionItsPossible · 03/10/2018 19:31

Well without seeing the emails (I suggest you don’t post) there’s not really a judgement that can be made whether YWBU and how abrupt you came across in the emails. How close were the 3 emails you sent in date/time to each other and when did your colleague send hers?

Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 19:31

That could be a possibility Ted however I know how to speak to people and I have never been pulled up for being abrupt! I have at times been short with her as we are the same level but for some reason she appears to think she is my boss!

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 03/10/2018 19:32

We've only got half the story here. Why did they not reply to your emails?

Why did she say you were abrupt? There must have been some context to the comment. Why are you abrupt in person?

Follow @HotSauceCommittee's advice if you fancy finding a new job.

Notacluewhatthisis · 03/10/2018 19:32

TedAndLola I totally agree. I am guessing that your second suggestion is accurate.

CoughLaughFart · 03/10/2018 19:35

Call her up on it and tell her you don’t appreciate being discussed with clients. Tell her she can make any further comments about your attitude to you, not others.

TedAndLola · 03/10/2018 19:35

That could be a possibility Ted however I know how to speak to people and I have never been pulled up for being abrupt! I have at times been short with her as we are the same level but for some reason she appears to think she is my boss!

Okay, but you said in your first post that you CAN be abrupt, although you don't think you're rude in emails. I think it's more likely that your emails didn't come across as polite as you intended than your colleague took an opportunity to make a nasty comment about you in a professional email to a client.

Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 19:35

They did reply to my emails each time telling me they'd get around to it. Our accounts dept need invoices by the 1st of each month and I was expecting to be invoiced on the 26th.

She emailed the same company to give feedback on a different issue and included my lack of invoice to bolster her feedback. 1 of the emails she bloody dictated!

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 03/10/2018 19:41

You need to have it out with her.

She had no business apologising on your behalf, even if there had have been an issue.

Depending on what she says, I would consider taking it higher.

Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 19:47

I've messaged her, she has apologised she wasn't aware her email would be copied and sent to me. No one complained but because I had said to her how crap they are and that I wouldn't be using them again she assumed I might have been abrupt and so didn't want ruffled feathers.

She has no business apologising for me for something I haven't done!

OP posts:
greendale17 · 03/10/2018 19:50

I've messaged her, she has apologised she wasn't aware her email would be copied and sent to me.

^Yes because if she knew you would read it she never would have wrote that. She is sly and cunning. Don’t trust her

Gemini69 · 03/10/2018 19:53

I'm not buying her bullshit.. ask to see the email OP Flowers

Gemini69 · 03/10/2018 19:53

sorry ... the email she sent them I mean Hmm

Daisymay2 · 03/10/2018 19:56

Bearing in mind all of your comments, I would raise it with your manager. She is undermining you to an outside company, she dictated one of the emails but apologised for your non existent rudeness, she thinks she is your boss.
Yes, she is a bitch

Bobbybear10 · 03/10/2018 19:58

Speak to your boss, her behaviour is completely unacceptable!

I would be beyond livid if a colleague did that to me! Angry

WatsonCat · 03/10/2018 20:01

I'm actually wondering OP if you are one of those types that is abrupt and rude to colleagues and everyone tiptoes around you? You've said yourself that you can be abrupt at times.

misscockerspaniel · 03/10/2018 20:28

She wasn't aware that her email would be copied and sent to you

I think that she sounds like a back-stabbing, shit-stirrer whom I wouldn't trust.

Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 20:30

The one and only email I sent said

Dear X

Please could you send me the final receipt for xxx

Many Thanks

Is that abrupt?!

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 20:31

Actually it wasn't the one and only it was 3 each saying pretty much the same thing. Sorry I did say 3 in my op. The 3rd explained that our accounts dept required the invoice by the 1st of the month. None of them abrupt.

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenOfIce · 03/10/2018 20:34

No Watson I am not 'one of those types' I am someone who has a job to do and likes to do it well. Being respectful to others is important however there are times when issues have arisen that I have been short with my colleagues.

I work away from home with a small group for weeks at a time none of my colleagues tiptoe around me I am definitely not the strongest character in our team though I am not afraid to give an opinion if called for.

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 03/10/2018 20:34

The most concerning aspect to this is that your colleague is complaining about you to an outside vendor. It really doesn't matter whether you were or were not abrupt, it's completely inappropriate for her to be disparaging you to someone else. I would make a complaint to her supervisor.

zzzzz · 03/10/2018 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UserMillionBillion · 03/10/2018 20:45

I'd ask to see the email that prompted her to respond with an apology on your behalf. Make her explain why she sent it.

UpstartCrow · 03/10/2018 21:14

I think you need to escalate. There's no need for flowery language at work, it just wastes everyone's time. your email is fine and she is massively overstepping bounds.

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