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AIBU?

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Original poster

Music and food - small wedding

52 replies

greenseggsanham · 03/10/2018 17:23

Hi all,

We are getting married next year, a small family event with 18 of us, including bride and groom.

It's in a hotel and we've booked a small function room until midnight following the meal.

Would you include a buffet after the meal? (Meal is at 5pm and drinks will go into the night)

Also in terms of music. What do we do? A DJ is over the time given the party size? We can take music and play though speakers but will that look tight?!

OP posts:
noeffingidea · 03/10/2018 17:32

Yes to the buffet, just a small one though. More nibbles than a meal.

HMHandcake · 03/10/2018 17:48

We are having a small wedding this year. Meal at 3.45, so a little earlier than yours. 3 courses. We've decided to put out cheese, crackers and some luxury chocolates at 8pm.

Original poster
greenseggsanham · 03/10/2018 19:03

And what about music?

OP posts:
SallySangFroid · 03/10/2018 19:06

I would do nibbles later as well as meal. 5pm is pretty early for most adults to have their evening meal. Maybe even just some cheese and biscuits, like you might at the end of a meal, but do it later?

Re music, I think a DJ would be a bit strange with that small a group. That might just be me though. Some other kind of live music if you wanted maybe, or just make a playlist and play it yourselves as you say. I think that’s fine too.

Original poster
greenseggsanham · 03/10/2018 19:26

Fully agree on the DJ front. Just didn't know how to get around it without people thinking "how tight they're playing music from a cd!!" Haha

OP posts:
covetingthepreciousthings · 03/10/2018 19:29

Spotify has some really good playlists on, or you can make your own. I'd use that instead of a DJ. Better than a cd you'd have to keep changing over etc.

Original poster
greenseggsanham · 03/10/2018 19:31

Thanks everyone. Would you have a negative opinion if you turned up and wee supplied food, but no live music? (Playlists instead)

OP posts:
MissusGeneHunt · 03/10/2018 19:35

Not at all! It sounds like a lovely intimate wedding. Good on you! Spotify is excellent and worth the subscription I think. Flowers

Babytalkobsession · 03/10/2018 19:35

We did bacon rolls and big bowls of hot chips. Went down a treat with a similar itinerary to yours. Perfect to soak up the booze and much cheaper than a buffet.

Leeds2 · 03/10/2018 19:36

I would, personally, view that as a positive!

If there are only 18 of you, I wouldn't have thought anyone would be expecting live music.

I did once go to a wedding where they had a lady playing the harp during the meal. Not sure what happened afterwards, but it was lovely.

Merryoldgoat · 03/10/2018 19:36

Sounds lovely. My wedding music was run off an iPhone - music segued perfectly, no DJ ego to deal with and it ran perfectly to time.

Everyone said it was fantastic. Have a lovely wedding OP.

Incidentally I had a late meal and my buffet was a big cheese board with bread and crackers, fruit, wedding cake cut up and donuts. Was perfect as we had no evening guests so people just wanted nibbles.

Merryoldgoat · 03/10/2018 19:37

No live music is a bonus as far as I’m concerned 😬

Butterymuffin · 03/10/2018 19:40

For that size of group I think live music would definitely be overkill, whereas you can make a wedding playlist that will be lovely and personal.

Great suggestions about cheese board etc.

DolceFarNiente · 03/10/2018 19:48

We created 2 Spotify playlists for our small wedding last year; one for the dinner and one for the dancing. People raved about how good the music was! We spent a lot of time putting it together and it brings me to tears when I stick it on as it holds such lovely memories. It didn't look tight at all. People are too busy having fun to notice the DJ anyway!

Original poster
greenseggsanham · 03/10/2018 19:53

Perfect! Thank you so much for your input everyone

OP posts:
Pimms0clock · 03/10/2018 20:08

We had a small wedding (under 30). Served Cornish pasties and wedding cake around 8.30 / 9ish. We also spent ages debating what to do about music. We ended up creating a couple of playlists and with a month to go found a duo - singer and guitarist - who did covers. They played for just over an hour (including our first dance).

buckeejit · 03/10/2018 21:08

I think playlists is fine but I'd urge you to look at something for a spot of entertainment. You could hire a local storyteller, magician etc for a half hour or maybe donate for a community choir to come in & do a few songs-something to break the evening up after a few drinks. Obv your guests would need to be up for it -just get recommendations

MumW · 03/10/2018 21:14

We went to a wedding last year and the bride and groom made a playlist. Everyone was asked to contribute a track. It worked really well and no-one thought they were tight.

Bouledeneige · 04/10/2018 00:31

With a small gathering I don't think anyone will expect music. It would be really odd to have a DJ I think. But also will people really stay till midnight from 5pm? Are they all young people who you've invited?

SnipSnipMisterBurgess · 04/10/2018 00:35

I think it would be nice to have some very low key entertainment - I used to organize weddings, and two things I would suggest to you are a table-top/close-up magician or a caricaturist to do quick portraits for your guests to take home. Live music would be too much (although karaoke might be fun if it would suit the group!)

KC225 · 04/10/2018 01:18

Love the idea of the cheese, crackers and luxury chocolates. Playlist is a good idea. Just an idea, small wedding what about marry-oake, wedding/marriage/love themed songs of course.

BigChocFrenzy · 04/10/2018 01:19

Entertainment is an unnecessary faff and expense for such a small do

Have something reasonably substantial in the buffet, but simple, like bacon or cheese rolls, along with crisps

Original poster
greenseggsanham · 04/10/2018 06:36

Oh gosh, no we don't expect everyone to stay until midnight.

With it being a small group, they wanted to put us in the main restaurant so we paid additional for a private room. This is ours until midnight, but our guests are free to leave whenever they like!

Interesting point on the entertainment. Just struggling to know what is appropriate for a small group!

OP posts:
NorthernKnickers · 04/10/2018 06:56

Sounds perfect OP...definitely my sort of wedding. I would second the suggestion above if a magician...one of this's that move around guests whilst mingling or around the tables whilst you are sat, doing sleight of hand and card tricks. They are very entertaining (better than one stood at the front that everyone has to watch at the same time!).

Bodear · 04/10/2018 07:01

Hi OP, congratulations on the wedding! I think cheese and biscuits later on sounds great. As for music a play list is fine but be warned; it’ll take you hours and hours to make.
If you wanted to do something different how about a single musician (acoustic guitar and singer) for a single set after dinner? It doesn’t sound like there’ll be dancing, more sitting and chatting so I think either will be fine.
I’ve recently been to two weddings of a similar size, one had a musician and one had playlists and both were lovely xx

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