Music and food - small wedding

[greenseggsanham]

Hi all,

We are getting married next year, a small family event with 18 of us, including bride and groom.

It's in a hotel and we've booked a small function room until midnight following the meal.

Would you include a buffet after the meal? (Meal is at 5pm and drinks will go into the night)

Also in terms of music. What do we do? A DJ is over the time given the party size? We can take music and play though speakers but will that look tight?!

Live music could easily dominate a small event like yours. A playlist would be far more appropriate for such a setting.

I'd urge you to look at something for a spot of entertainment. You could hire a local storyteller, magician etc for a half hour or maybe donate for a community choir to come in & do a few songs
I'd chew my own fist off in embarassment if this happened at a small wedding.
I'm assuming all guests are capable of chatting to each other for an evening?

I'm in agreement by feeling entertainment may be a bit much. I don't think my guests would enjoy a magician, in particular.

I could possibly have my arm twisted to a singer with a guitar but even so, I don't know if that's over the top!

Equally, I don't want anyone to be bored to death!

Perhaps you're thinking of it being naff vandrew but I can assure you it can be really good fun if the entertainers are right. Of course some people for whatever reason, won't let themselves engage & have fun, so yes, if these are the sort of people you have as guests, then don't bother. I used to work for a charity & we'd run events for older people-some were really grumpy & didn't want to enjoy themselves but with the right entertainment, you'd see them laughing along

DJs are screamingly naff for a large part, and their attempts to "get the party started" cringeworthy. Most I've encountered have been remarkably good at EMPTYING the dancefloor.

Ex. 1 - all guests in their late 20s or older. Played entirely 'new' music that no one recognized. Dancefloor emptied. Had to be bullied into playing noughties favourites and Motown - dancefloor filled.

Ex. 2 - played "games" like air guitar competition. Nice warm night, everyone positively fled outside.

... And many more. Whereas I have been to countless playlist weddings and had a brilliant time!

buckeejit

So you ran some events that people didn't like and THEY'RE the problem? Not just that people have different tastes (allowed even in old age!) and for them you might put on something different?

Charming.

I had a small birthday party (20 people) and hired an acoustic singer... it cost me £150 for 2 hours and he was amazing. Live music really changes the atmosphere
By the time he finished everyone was having fun (and a bit drunk) so we just put on our own music

Live music can definitely work at small gatherings, but equally a playlist is fine too.

buckee maybe I'm just the sort of person who can engage with people socially without having to be "entertained" as you might do with small children.

I would have this tone be more of a nice, long dinner party wedding rather than dinner/disco with only 18 people. Take all the money you would spend on disco/ buffet and spend it on upgrading the meal. 18 people can sit at one long table and it creates a really wonderful atmosphere. No need for any dancing. Totally fine to have background music on speakers.

For the music just use playlists, make sure you have plenty of data and a Spotify premium account for requests - a teenage younger brother or nephew is a good option to be "in charge" of music, it's an awkward age for weddings. Rather than a full buffet, have platters of nibbles brought out around 9/9.30pm.

we had very similar for our wedding. 14 people in a private dining room. we all sat at one table and just ate and drank and talked/ laughed for the whole evening. we had a playlist quietly on in the background.
it was amazing.

can't think of anything worse that a magician as entertainment!

I'm thinking a playlist through the meal, then POSSIBLY some life music (a singer) then back to playlist for the end of drinks

I love the idea of cheese, crackers (maybe some chutney and nice parma ham too yum!) and nice chocolates. I think it would be nice to have something available if the meal is fairly early so people don't go home needing to eat again.

It sounds like a lovely wedding!

Of course some people for whatever reason, won't let themselves engage & have fun, so yes, if these are the sort of people you have as guests, then don't bother.

Or they just have different tastes, different senses of humour and didn't find the entertainment fun!

If it were my close friends and family I definitely wouldn't want a stand up entertainer type person or live music we'd be happy with a playlist and just to mingle. The extra food coming out would break things up enough I think but obviously you know your guests.

Thank you @FullOfJellyBeans

We had our wedding cake as the dessert after an evening sit down meal, so around 8.30pm maybe. That went down really well.

I would do a small buffet, cheese is always good, some other nibbles and good chocolates or other small pastries maybe, I know several people who get a sweet tooth when drinking.

Music - I think a playlist is absolutely fine, a DJ may also struggle with the volume in a small room.

Yes to some entertainment, we had a magician several times during a corporate Christmas party and hope our budget is enough for a charicaturist this year. It just breaks everything up a bit.

We had the same number of guests at our wedding. Neither me nor DH is really into dancing so we made a background playlist on Spotify. For entertainment DH and I wrote a pub quiz! We split everyone into 3 teams (mixing our families up which actually worked amazingly well) and because we knew everyone we sort of tailored the questions so we knew there would be some everyone could answer. I think there were about 3.5 points between winning and losing teams and everyone really enjoyed it!
We had our wedding at 4pm, wedding breakfast around 5.30pm and wedding cake about 9ish.

Have conviction in your choices. Would any of your guests actually question your choices, or just accept them as your wedding??? I imagine in a small intimate setting that you're inviting people who love and care for you.

We were self funded for our wedding so cut a lot of costs. Our meal was a choice of 4 pub meal specials served around 6 630. We chose not to have a buffet due to the cost basically and it wasn't missed at all.

Someone paying acoustic sounds fabulous.... Do you know anyone who would do it for a good price???

Playlist is also fabulous... We had our own playlist for food duration.

Be happy and confident... Its your special day and its about playing yourself and your other half.... Not meeting other people's expectations.

Pleasing not playing!

We had 15 at ours. Had some sandwiches later on and the cake, everyone was still really full from dinner but they still ploughed into sandwiches. We did our own music and I’m so glad as people were in and out smoking, going to bar etc so sometimes the room was just 10 or so people and with anything live that would have been rubbish!

Id definitely get a singer with a guitar for an hour or two, it would be lovely for your first dance.

My previous post said that people who thought they wouldn't enjoy such entertainment things actually did.

My mum scoffed at mates playing music without singing at my wedding-it was background entertainment after the service, my friend played guitar & bridesmaid accompanied on the saw. It went down very well & most guests hadn't seen anyone playing saw before. Agree with pp who said have conviction in your choices-am sure your nearest & dearest won't complain whatever you do. Good luck with it all & congratulations!

Thank you @buckeejit