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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends pregnant with three possible fathers

69 replies

ZebraMammy17 · 03/10/2018 11:58

My friend of 5-6 years is pregnant I'm feeling a bit conflicted as she confided in me that there's 3 possible fathers and her boyfriend thinks it's his.

For background she was in a on again off again toxic relationship for a couple of years he is possible father #1 towards the end of that relationship she started cheating on him with her brothers friend possible father #2 she told me that on the day she met her now boyfriend possible father #3 she had just got out of bed with #2 and they are friends.

When she was going back to #1 she told him he was the father before she told her current boyfriend about the pregnancy, it's so messy.

Her current boyfriend doesn't know about his friend #2 and her having an affair. She'd gone between #1 & #3 for a few weeks before finding out she's pregnant.

She's currently with #3 and has no contact with the other two, her boyfriend knows there's a chance that her ex could be the father and wants a test when the baby's born. However she's been trying to convince him that her ex couldn't be the father as the dates don't match and not to bother with the test.

He's a lovely guy and this involves a child, I really don't want to get involved but I think she's being cruel to everyone, to make it worse imo she told me she never used protection with any of them so it really could be anyone's guest.

Her boyfriend is so excited for this baby and to be a dad.
As I'm writing this I feel like it's something off Jeremy Kyle or Bridget Jones it's so complicated Confused

OP posts:
speakout · 03/10/2018 13:15

I wouldn't really get involved, it's none of your business- and certainly none of ours here.

If I had a friend who was being cruel to others it would give me cause to rethink my friendship- I like to hang out with others who are kind and have a positive energy.
That's as much I would do OP.

Clandestino · 03/10/2018 13:17

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Or a baby.
All you can do is be there for her. That's it. Stay out of the actual action.

sunglasses123 · 03/10/2018 13:17

She sounds totally irresponsible. If you are going to sleep around at the very least you sort out birth control for yourself. Unless of course she doesn't care or take responsibilities for your own actions.

Jeremy Kyle is always looking for people like this.

Ohyesiam · 03/10/2018 13:18

Not your circus, not your monkey.

HildaOgdensFlyingDucks · 03/10/2018 13:20

Cancel the monkeys, the cheque's in the circus.

Itsnotabingthingisit · 03/10/2018 13:23

Only on Mumsnet can a woman not be criticised for having a man believe he is the father of her child when he isn't .

All these replies and it hasn't even been addressed.

Girl power , eh..good for her.

BlancheM · 03/10/2018 13:27

But OP isn't the woman involved, its
She isn't asking for opinions or advice.
The 'friend' has just wanted to have a bit of a gossip at her expense

speakout · 03/10/2018 13:30

Itsnotabingthingisit

Not one poster has said it's OK to dupe a man.

Everyone is saying it's not the OP's business.

I personally would not want to be friends with someone who did this- but it is not my place to wade in and interfere with the situation.

Babyshark2018 · 03/10/2018 13:30

Eww. She needs to get an STI check ASAP...

overnightangel · 03/10/2018 13:31

“"Woman finds 3 men incapable of using condom" - not exactly headline news.

Or,

“Same Woman consistently refuses to use birth control”

AmIthatbloodycold · 03/10/2018 13:36

YABU

No wait........

YANBU

AnoukSpirit · 03/10/2018 13:36

Personally, I would not want to be friends with someone who thought it was ok to publish my private business on the Internet for strangers to judge and criticise.

That's really shitty behaviour.

Undercoverbanana · 03/10/2018 13:37

All this unprotected sex is putting me off my lunch.

If she’s going to have this baby then she’s going to have to grow up.

Cornishclio · 03/10/2018 13:45

I feel sorry for the child and the boyfriend. Your friend needs to take some responsibility for her actions. I would not get involved

JessicaJonesJacket · 03/10/2018 14:00

If this isn't one of those 'joke' threads based on Mamma Mia . . then don't get involved. Her brother is friends with 2 so it will all come out at some point.

SarahH12 · 03/10/2018 14:19

Honestly you're better off staying out of it. Or just offer your support if you feel able.

I do understand how she got into this situation. I made some fucked up choices as a teen when I first came out of an abusive relationship. I could've easily ended up being her. Well with the pregnancy and unknown father situation anyway, I would've told all involved and not lied about it though. I would've wanted friends to support me, not criticise me had that happened. Or if a friend felt unable to support me I'd rather they back away - and especially wouldn't want them posting about it on MN.

m0vinf0rward · 03/10/2018 14:27

The BF definitely needs a DNA test, 100%. Sounds like she's playing 'tag you're the father' with him.

LavendarGreen · 03/10/2018 16:19

@ZebraMammy17

Serious question..........

Is this 'friend' actually you?

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 03/10/2018 16:41

I was thinking more of Lace II.
Loved that show!

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